Question for married women who are or were having an affair?

Question

If you are a married woman who is currently having an affair or has had an affair, what was the reason you for having the affair? Since women are the gender that are the more committed and are more family oriented and loyal, why did you have an affair? I'm getting married soon and want to make sure I do that right things and stay away from the wrong things so my future Mrs. will be happy and won't see a relationship outside of ours.

Answer 1

Make sure you pay attention to your significant other and don't neglect their emotional as well as sexual needs. Otherwise, that's cause to look for it elsewhere. Try to give each other space when needed but also good quality time together as well.

Answer 2

OK, being honest, my husband left me, I had to move on, it had been 8mos., and I met someone really nice. I do not regret having the affair, I was all alone for along time. He was a shining star in my life for a short time. I made him aware as we were just friends first, that there might be a chance my husband would come back and he did I ended it with the other man to fix the marriage and get the family back together.

I tell you this, respect your wife feelings. Dont leave her alone too long and be her best friend. You are different, yet equal, dont smother each other and celebrate your individuality. Grow together.

Answer 3

There are any number of reasons why people cheat. My advice is to look for the rules in Proverbs in the Bible. I have been through a situation based on what seems to be the biggest warning out there. Stay away from allowing to close of relationships with outside single friends of the opposite sex. That goes both ways. That is the one that burned me and led ME to making the choices I should not have made. I'm sure if you talk to a minister they can give you the basic guidelines of what scriptures and Bible books to read where you can get that kind of wise advice. proverbs is only one but a GOOD ONE!!!!!! Read it! It's a powerful start! Hope this helped! Even if you are not religeous and do not believe, it is still a good piece of information that applies outside of any religeous faith. Truth is still truth!

Answer 4

Well I had an affair when we first got together. See I was divorced with 3 kids I honestly thought no man would take me serious. I ran into my highschool sweetheart. I though he was just another fling. But he hanged around for about a month. I went out with one of the guys I was dateing, and turned back to see my sweetheart very hurt. Telling me he wanted something serious with me. He forgave me and now we have been together for 4 yrs. Once in a while he will throw that on my face. Something I did and will REGRET till the day I die. #1 adive, never have an affair it will ruin your marriage forever. If you want to do something stupid like that, first leave him.

Answer 5

Mine got invloved in extra cariculor activities that he became obbsessed with, before we got married he was doing stuff about 5 nights a week like one night it was volley ball, anther would be pool, another would be bowling, golf atleast 2 times a week, driving range, remote cars, and more...then I planned our wedding and stopped going to his stuff. I never could get back into going to all of those things. Then he dropped those things to play frisby gold 24/7, it eventually took over his life and we couldn't go anywhere becasue he always had to play, he would get up most Saturday's and be gone by the time I got up. He would leave work early to play and also play afterwork through the evening if he didn't get to play during the day. It eventually got to the point where he was neglecting me.

Then I started to get attracted to someone I worked with and needless to say it went from there...I eventually told him (after 3 years of the affair) that I was ready to seperate and move on with the 2nd guy I started an affair with...he then wanted to work things out and by then I had been fed up with it for so long I was ready to move on.

We were the type that you would think we would always be together forever, we loved eachother a lot and were really affectionate towards one another, but in the end I had had it and he let his obsession go too far. I talked about it with him many times and he just really never cared...

SO my adivce would be to always put your time with your wife on the top of your priority list and do things together, make time for trips and don't let other things take over your spare time.

Good luck...some people in my situation would stick it out, but I am the type that needs companionship not lonelyness!

PS: I tried to get a dog but that only worked for a while!

PSS: Spell check is not working and I don't feel like going through everything I just wrote so don't mind the errors...

Answer 6

Don't be silly. Women cheat just as much as men(statistically it's only a recent thing, but...). And the excuses that you hear are only to make themselves feel better about themselves. Just prepare yourself for everything to be your fault, and that applies to cheating too. And you notice how all the answers are "Bored, lost that feeling, ...". Take them words and remember that women want to move around the furniture every month, repaint the house a different color every month, get new clothes every few weeks. They always want change, and again, a cheater is a cheater and there isn't a good excuse(these women would have cheated on any man). If you spend time with her, she will sleep with someone more 'powerful' than you. If you work all the time, she will sleep with someone who pays attention to her. Good luck, and I hope she doesn't.

Answer 7

Relationship is the pits and has been for a few years (married over 20). Many many reasons - bad stuff happened to us both. He does not like confrontation and made sure to NOT stick up for me when I deserved it the most. Stick up for her. Don't let YOUR PARENTS get involved or hurt her in any way whatsoever. You let your guard down and let her down, she will be extremely disappointed in you as "a man" who is supposed to love her. Don't blame HER when things go wrong (and they will - problems will arise). Dont' use the words "what's wrong with you?" ever....... unless she's sick and do it nicely. I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice on here. I am actually angry typing this. Sorry but have to share -- if it helps your marriage, I will be happy something came out of it.

Answer 8

I am having an affair with a married man i met on a dating site for married people (solely for having affairs!). I am married too, and love my husband but it has become more like brother sister love, didnt want to leave him but definitely needed some romance and to be honest some exciting sex!

Answer 9

Don't loose sight of your ambitions and goals. I started having an affair about 3 wks ago, after 7 yrs of marriage. He cheated before, but what drove me to do it was not because he alsready did, but because he was not doing anything productive to further our relationship. I tried to talk to him about it, but I was blown off since he has to be the one that is 'always right' and he says he is trying to do things.(what a joke) In this man I am having a affair with, I do not expect it to progress to a real relationship, but he does not blow me off and he is ambitious. That is all I was asking for....

Answer 10

That is so awesome that you are asking that question now! You need to make sure that you always tell your wife how much you love her and how hot she is. And I'm not talking just sex. She needs to feel loved and craved. Sure, my hubby loves to have sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a hole. It doesn't mean much when he goes all day without touching me or telling me he loves me but then wants sex.

You also need to be careful once you have kids and get past the baby stage. Women are sooooooo focused on their kids during the baby/toddler stages that they often forget about themselves and let the marriage get stale. Then when the kids are in school they find themselves bored and in a stale marriage. That's how it all happened for me. Now I need to find ways to spice things up again with my hubby. Maybe I'll post for suggestions. Good luck to you!

Answer 11

The number one reason for me was that the romance has gone out of my marriage. No more "I love You" no more kisses, not even any cuddling. A women needs this more than just sex. Of course the sex (which I love) is almost non-existent. Just make sure you know that who ever they are today they may not be that same person tomorrow. Don't forget that you must be important to you!