Should I pick my VERY homesick daughter from camp before the session is over?

Question

I need to hear from parents that have been in this situation before, or a psychologist that can advise me what the correct thing to do would be.

My daughter is 11 and it is her first time going to sleep-away camp. We live in FL and her camp is in NY. She has been there for 2 weeks now and is desperate to come home. I just spoke to her and she begged me to pick her up. She threatened to starve herself. (Something she has NEVER said before.) I later spoke to the camp director, and she told me that the child IS very home-sick, but that she is functioning and participating in the activities. We are not allowed to speak to her on the phone. This call was an exception. My daughter also told me not to write to her anymore, because everytime she sees our letters she cries and it makes it worse. I want to do what is right for her. Is picking her up before the session is over right or wrong? There are 2 more weeks of camp. PLEASE HELP. Thanks.

Answer 1

wow thats really hard! I am a parrent but my son is too little to go to camp but I can tell you how I felt when I went to camp. I was very homesick and my dad made me stay. In the end it worked out. It was just a lesson I had to learn, a coping skill if you want to say that. But every situation and person is different. Olny you know your child and what is right for her. If you do go get her, I would serriously suggest that next summer she go to camo agian but maybe one thats closer to home and not so long. If this is her first time being away from home then across teh country and for along time can be tramutizing. If she is going to harm herself (like starving herself) then GO GET HER!!! but you have to remember how it is to be a kid if some of the other kids are picking on her of theres some sort of embarrasing thing that happened then it very huge to her but will go away shortly. so maybe when you talked to her it was just a bad time. Like I said utilmatly you know whats best in your heart. dont scar the child for life by making her stay if its that serious to her. WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS: WHAT KIND OF PLACE DOESN'T LET YOU TALK TO YOUR OWN KIDS???????????

Answer 2

I took 19 boys on a boyscout 7 day camp trip last summer. After 3 days I had 4 boys that were very emotional and homesick. I don't agree with not letting the kids call their parents if that is what is needed. I brought my cell phone and let the boys call their mothers as needed. Once they hung up, I tried to talk to each of them and engage them in activities that would keep their minds off the homesickness. All boys made it the whole time and I had several thank yous once it ended because I helped them be able to make it through the entire camp. Children 11-13 can be very emotional when away from home for extended periods of time. I think the camp leaders should be asked to keep your child engaged mentally to keep her mind off of missing home. Also, if you are that nervous for her. Take a plane trip and watch her from afar for a few hours without her knowing you have arrived. I know planes are expensive, but if it puts your mind at ease, you should do it. Then you can tell for yourself. Also, another thing we did was always make sure your child has a friend that is going to the same camp. This helped my son because they could always count on each other. Hope this helps

Answer 3

I'm not a parent but im a teenager who has dealt with being homesick at camp before. I was 12 at the time and I would cry myself to sleep and cry when I read the letters my parents sent. Before camp that year I would do the same thing if I spent the night at a friends or even at my grandparents. I would advise to leave her at the camp. My parents said they wouldn't come pick me up and that I needed to get over my homesickness. Well that is exactly what happened. Ever since I have been fine with leaving home for extended periods of time. I have returned to the camp for three years in a row now and love every minute of it. You shouldn't spoil your daughter by bringing her home because this could prolong the problem and make it worse in years to come. She should get over it now. I'm sure it kills you to know she is miserable at camp but sometimes doing the right thing hurts. Good luck with your dilemma!

Answer 4

I don't like the idea that you can not speak to your daughter.
This just doesn't sound right. Personally being a mother myself I would want to know more about the situation.
Of course you don't want her threat not to eat to cause her to get what she wants. If this is the first time she has been away from home that long, it might be a normal reaction. If she has been to other camps, etc., and was fine, then something is wrong.
A month is a long time for an eleven year old and so far from home. You do need to check on her, so go on up there and see what is going on. You don't have to let her see you until you decide to bring her back.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

It may not just be homesickness. She may be getting bullied by older kids. Ask the counselors there to keep an eye out for that, and if she is being bullied they need to deal with it. If it IS just her being homesick just write her another letter stating that what she gets home, as a special treat for finishing out the next two weeks you will do something together as a family. It will give her something to look forward to.

Answer 6

It could be a couple of things. Is the camp hell on Earth? Do the other kids pick on her and make life miserable? Does she say these things in her letters? Then go get her.

She DOES sound spoiled and manipulative, making threats, and tweeking your emotions. When spoiled kids cry and stomp their feet to make you come running, they will always do this. People who live in Florida and can afford to send their kids to New York for summer camp are rich. And rich kids are brats.

Be prepared to live with whatever action you take, because it will be YOUR fault, you are the parent.

Answer 7

I'd pick her up. If she has never been away from home for long periods of time this might be a rough on her. Maybe next year send her to a camp that isn't such a long period of time, and maybe one that she can call home when she needs to.

Answer 8

yes, what if "homesick" is code for something else and the camp counselors wont let her call or write in private?

Answer 9

Terribly sorry to sound callous.

I think you should have her stick it out. My Mom wouldnt have come to get me for something like that, she has to adjust to the world like the rest of us no matter how terrible it can be... she'll be stronger for not having run.

Answer 10

i dont think you should go get her because what if next time she goes to camp she's going to be doing the same thing i think you should just let her experament life