want u to go out alone....I have to make visitaion for my yougest child who is 4 mo, and my hubby doesnt like the fact that i have to travel an hour for this, him and the babys dad dislike eachother..alot! the babsy dad is still intrested in me, and my hubby is insecure about this. Just because he is still intreseted in me doent change the fact that my daughter has visition! So I know he is insecure I feel bad for this but I have to still go along with the visitaion. Oh the babys dad has it set up so my hubby cant be around when I do the drop off! SO it takes an hour for the visitaion both ways, so and she goes for 6 hrs, and I dont want to waste gas..and we dont have the money. So instead of coming back I have visited with family that lives there, and my hubby is unhappy with that. Also on occasion I have stayed longer and talked with the babys dad and his family, which I think isnt terrible, but I realize this upsets him..what should OI do? put his feelings 1st ?
2006-07-11 08:35:45 · 12 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. This is a little tough. It would be nice if your husband was secure enough to not make an issue out of this. Your ex is entitled to visitation and it's great that he is playing an active role as a father. The fact that he's still interested in you is not something you have any control over. You are not with him anymore, you are with and married to your now, current husband and that should tell him something. Regardless, it is difficult for a new spouse to deal with a spouses ex sometimes and you can't just negate his feelings but I wouldn't totally play into them either and allow his insecurities to dictate your lives. If the money for gas thing is an issue, maybe you guys can put a more positive spin on the trip by making it "date day". Take your husband for the drive with you but drop him off somewhere before you reach your final destination. Then drop your daughter, go meet back up with hubby, enjoy your day alone together without kids. And then, six hours later (while he's at a local coffee shop or something again), pick up your daughter, swing back to get hubby, and then make the journey back home. It may actually become a fun day for your hubby and you to look forward too. You can plan a different adventure each time. Good luck.
2006-07-11 08:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your hubby is insecure, he has to first know just cuz the x has fellings for you and you both have a child together, doesn't mean anything if you are in love with your hubby. You make sure you take care of home first. Give your man at home nothing to worry about when you do leave. Let him know who mama is comin home too. Also when you go if you hae a cell phone call back home talk to your love (hubby) especially if the x doesnt seem to get the hint that you moved on. Tell him you miss him, can't wait to see him ( and mean it) that will make the time go by fast and it will help the insecurity. Eventually the hubby will feel better. But first and foremost everytime you leave for this visit you kiss that man and like I said make sure he knows who you always come home to. Make him feel good.
2006-07-11 15:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? Sweety you give an inch on this, he may take you a mile. He needs to grow up and get over it. The quickest way to lose a woman is to not trust her. It only causes resentment. Besides, its a court order visitation right? You have to do it. He isn't above the law. And to get upset about you visiting your family? He's a little F'd up in the head if you ask me. Tread lightly...this may only get worse. Sorry, been there done that.
2006-07-11 15:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are looking for someone to qualify your B-S ,and you know your wrong ,and are going to lose the dude your with now ,,if you dont figure this out better ,,and maybe have your mom take the child ,and the court sets the rules go and change it to him picking the child up half the time,, and or another plan ,,and why stay around the family its not cool ,,and staying over looks bad,, and are you doing your -home work -if not hes going to have to get out of this situation ,as its not worth the crap you put him through
2006-07-11 15:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should try something new so you wont hurt your hubby, i think you should have someone else drop the baby off, thats what i do,(my hubby isnt jealous,he understands) but i wouldnt stay to chat with him or with his family,there is nothing that you need to talk to him about, so let someone else drop off the baby, like a family memeber or a friend.he just wants to see you not the baby. i dont talk to my sons dad at all, there s nothing i have to say to him.nothing at all thats why i let somene else drop the baby off. i would also make him come to pick up the baby so i wouldnt have to make the trip,Im sure in the court order it doesnt say you need to always drop him off. i know about this, in my court order i have it say he must pick him up at a certain spot, a halfway point.it takes 45 minutes to get to his house but we meet at a place where it takes 30 each to get to.if this man wants to be with you then of course thats going ot hurt your new man. why hurt him, i know you have to go thru with this court order but you dont have to put your new man in a spot, dont go visit the other side family, to your new man doesnt like it dont do it. think about it hat if the tables were changed?? think about it.
2006-07-11 15:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect your husband.. girl there are other ways to work the situation out. Have a friend go with you that he trusts.. or do something extra to make the money for the trip back.
2006-07-11 15:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by LJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are YOU taking the child to his father's for visitation? I don't blame your husband for being mad. The child's father is going to have to make arrangements for HIM to come visit the child and not YOU taking the child to him.
2006-07-19 03:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not, he needs to grow up and understand that you have responsibilities and if it is trusting you that is bothering him take him with you and if he doesn't want to see your baby's father then drop him off at a park or somewhere when you drop your baby off and pick her up
2006-07-11 15:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by T agent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how long you been married??? Your baby's only four months old???Sounds like you want it both ways. Doesn't work that way honey!
2006-07-11 15:42:55 · answer #9 · answered by bugadont 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're wanting to go to a club or something, yes.
2006-07-11 15:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋