She and a friend of mine developed a crush on each other.(Needless to say, he is really no longer a friend of mine). Things happened, but not the worst.. thankfully. I had given her the chance to tell me everything and even then she still hid things. 9 months later turns out that all the problems in our relationship were due to her guilt for not telling me everything and due to her insecurities in life. She made it seems as thought I was not good enough all this time. We are on a break right now. I am now reliving all that pain because I now know everything. I don't know if I can trust her again - all I have is visions of her doing the same... just because she did it once. I am torn to just end it, or try to make it work. The guilt she had deflected on me all this time makes it hard. Can she truly want to be with me now...can I ever get over the suspiciouons. I just keep playing out the deception in my mind, but I do love her - it has been 4 years. What to do?
2006-07-11 08:34:56 · 3 answers · asked by rogue_in_so_cal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I just recently broke up with a bf of 2 yrs because I just couldn't trust him anymore. The whole not trusting thing really wore me down. I cant live like that. Sometimes I could think of nothing else but "Is he lying". This is not the way my life is supposed to be. There is no time in my life for this paranoia. Life is too short. If these people really wanted to be with us and were the right person for us, all this would not be happening.
2006-07-11 08:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My case is similar. Due to a long term situation I allowed myself to weaken my morals and cheat. He found out a couple months later from the person who helped me do it (female) and we separated for over a year. He went through hell and there is not one second that goes by that I do not wish I had not done it. I wish many things but can not have them. But with time and huge inner battling and resolution, he was able to come home and try to make us work. We still struggle but we are together and he found his family worth that effort. That is what it means to really love someone. Effort despite the pain. I would NEVER revisit that experience or recreate it but he does not know that. His faith in me will forever be shattered, but it CAN be rebuilt to some degree and with any luck that much will be enough. It being repetative is when the rules change and enough is enough. Bottom line is that it is purely a judgement call. I truely hope you make the right one for you! Good luck!
2006-07-11 15:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, if the trust is gone so is the relationship.
2006-07-11 15:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by citisat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋