That's so strange... I can't understand if I love the boy or not. When he is far away I love him but when he comes I always hurt him and want to get rid of him quicklier (go home or something)... We've had some big quarrels in the past maybe I keep the offence? I can't understand...
2006-07-11 07:21:40 · 12 answers · asked by Maria 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Masha Dear, you may be mixing feelings of infatuation with that of genuine love: many people confuse it so you're not alone here. In most instances, there are underlying personality conflicts, so compatability will ALWAYS be an issue... and if the both of you are too blinded with surface emotions to see the baseline incompatability, then you'll continue to hurt one another until such time that you wake up to it. If I were you, and I was uncertain about the inherent culpability of the precipitating conflict in the relationship, I'd seek relationship counselling. Or, you could get a free profile on one or more of the online dating services such as harmony.com. You can never "fix" another or mold someone to suit you liking... even if you manage to "control" circumstances or coherse "cooperation," the relationship will always have underlying tensions & resentments... that is NOT a healthy (or happy) way to live. Love has BASELINE ACCEPTANCE as one of its many wonderful attributes... if it's not there from the beginning, trust me, end the relationship for both your sakes. It is better for you to seek compatability first, then consider the other things that matter to you.
2006-07-11 08:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by cherodman4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest to get in touch with a professional therapist. there must be a reason why you're pushing him away. Perhaps your brain and your heart tells you no, it's no time to get involved yet, I still have my life before me and I want to do things I haven't done yet. Perhaps it is a way' of asking for help... My advise seek help find out the deeper question to your concern. Only than can you truly be ready for a lasting relationship. Good luck......
2006-07-11 07:30:47 · answer #2 · answered by angelikabertrand64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't like or are afraid of the "control" he has over you because of your feelings for him. I think it scares you. Soon, he is going to get tired of it and you will lose him if you don't get a handle on yourself. If you want to keep him, loosen up some and learn to trust.
2006-07-11 07:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by James F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont love him. Stop seeing him. Actually, you may need to see a therapist. You sound pretty messed up. Good Luck.
2006-07-11 07:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, it's not love. It's something else. You can't hurt someone you love, unless you are totally mental. And I doubt you are.
2006-07-11 07:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by trollunderthestairs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its just that your affraid of getting hurt...or u just embarresed to let him noe that u lke him and u want to noe if he likes u first before u show ur true feelings so ...may b that u dont embarrese urself or somethin
2006-07-11 07:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by i_luv_grammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then maybe you really don't love him after all. Because if you really loved him you wouldn't deliberately hurt him!
2006-07-11 07:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by kueria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hurt him on purpose, then you don't really love him.
2006-07-11 07:28:55 · answer #8 · answered by Dog Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him, you will not have the urge to hurt him
2006-07-11 07:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by destiny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...it's a thin line between love and hate...
2006-07-11 07:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by Pooks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋