Come on Ladies....Need some Advice....Please!!!?

Question

I have been with my bf for 6 mths now. We were together before for 2 1/2 years but we broke up for about a year but now we're back together. I really do love him and he tells me that he loves me. He is a good person and does almost anything for me; he takes care of me after work, gives me massages, always compliments me, likes to spend most of his $$ on me (even tho i have my own $$), he likes to be with me instead of his friends/family..he's just so sweet. But there is one thing that he does that makes me question this relationship, he lies to me.....not about bad things but about small things...but it's just the fact that he lies to me, that bothers me. I have told him before that i don't like being lied to and he said he wouldn't but i always find out something from his family. And when i confront him, he says he didn't mean to.....it's just so frustrating at times....is it just me? do i have a trust issue? please help...need some advice....thanks

Answer 1

I believe he is trying to "ice" you into something, be careful. be urself, don't always accept for what he gives you, at the end he might dumb you and yell at you that you spend all his money. He might also abuse u if he ever married u. just be careful, he might be in a plan. i can say i hate liers too...i don't care if he buys me nothing, i don't like lies! buying stuff, doing things won't help...love is commitment of trust...if trust is lost , then its not a love...if he starts to lie, then thats not a love, he might be in a plan...look inside of him, don't look what he does to you or buys...

best of luck!

Answer 2

I wouldn't trust a liar if I were you. How do you know the only things he's lied about are "small" things anyway? I don't think you have a trust issue...I think HE has proven he's not worthy of your trust. Now you've got to decide if you want to stick around with a proven liar and suffer through that kind of ordeal the rest of your life or if you want to move on so you can meet a man who will give you nothing but the whole truth. Good luck.

Answer 3

you dont have a trust issue, i think it's normal for a woman to get a little upset when a bf tells white lies.

but before these lies evolve from small to huge, there really needs to be a stop. maybe he doesn't take your confrontations about it seriously.

do you think he lies so you don't think less of him? maybe he cares about what you think a lot, and doesn't want you to get the wrong impression. why dont you show him you'd love him whether he was ugly, poor, or really stinky, haha! share your embarrasing moments, and he'll feel more comfortable to know that he's not the only one who feels that way. he'll be more comfy talking to you about stuff that he normally would have to lie about.

i think this relationship is amazing, something that is rare, so don't get too upset about stuff. enjoy what you have, this kind of guy is matchless and (besides the lying part) he seems to have all the qualities a woman could ever want.

Answer 4

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. At times he lies about things that don't even matter. But the bigger question is always- what else are you lying about that I haven't realised?

I know that being in the same situation I have no right to tell you what to do, but I am still trying to have him cut out the habit because I am pregnant with our first child.

Anyways, what I've done so far other than talk, talk, talk, is show him that I prefer the truth, no matter what it is. Meaning, things I may normally nag about if he tells me, I don't nag anymore (easier said than done sometimes) but at least he knows now he can safely be more open.

Also I try not to bring it up again as an issue so he does not regret being honest. Sometimes this fear of our reation can cause them to prefer lying to being honest.

Answer 5

Would you think twice about being with him if he didnt spend $$ on u and didnt rub ur feet and blah blah? Girl,u can get ur massages and so on at a spa...u got ur own $$ and u got friends who would rather be with u instead of their families...Now, tell me why u think that matters to u and the lying part isnt good enough reason for u to leave him? Relationships consist of 3 things...honesty,respect and faithfulness...with lying,hes destroying all 3!

I know its easier said than done..BUT would u rather hurt now and get over it or hurt later? Think about it...May God open ur eyes and give u the strength to make the right decision...

Answer 6

So he's lying and your questioning whether you have a trust issue ?? He IS lying, your not paranoid and making it up. So you say they are small lies......ever think to yourself that if he's willing to lie to you about small things what he will decide to do when they are big things ?

Answer 7

A lie is a lie. You need to keep telling him he needs to be honest with you. If he is lying about small things he may be lying about big things to. Or he might start lying about them at sometime.
Let him know that it is hard to trust him even when he thinks it is a harmless little lie. It is doing harm when it is making you feel bad. Tell him if he loves you he needs to be totally honest.

Answer 8

a lie is a lie. it's worse that he doesn't own up to it later. there is no way you don't "mean to" lie. it's a decision you make. make it crystal clear that you aren't going to tolerate lies. it will only get worse down the line.

Answer 9

Be careful. First small lies then... you know. Stay away hazard, hazard...

Answer 10

If it really bothers you why stay with him? It seems as though it drives you crazy.