My daughter yesterday asked me if shecan have sex with her bf. How can i deny her?. She is only 21.?

Answer 1

Why is she asking you. She needs to rely on her own decision making skills. Do you want her calling you all the time asking you to make decisions for her?? What is she gets pregnant and dosn't want a baby then you are the one at fault. Tell her that she needs to make that decision on her own.

Answer 2

I feel your concern. While she is of legal age, and an adult in the eyes of the law, you still think she is too young. After all, she is your little girl.

The fact that she asked you if she can have sex with him is a pretty good sign. It means she values your consent and would like to have it. If you tell her "no," you are likely to foster resentment. She won't even know what she would be missing, but would hold you to blame for that.

Better, perhaps, to let her know that she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. She will appreciate the trust you are putting in her to do the right thing. You can follow this up with a word or two on how important it is that she make responsible decisions, and that it may be better that she wait until she is sure. The fact that she is asking you reveals that she herself may not be sure and your consent, or denial, would provide her the motivation to go through with it.

Either way, be certain she understand the consequences of the activity in the event she does go through with it.

Answer 3

At 21 I too am actually and regretfully a little shocked that she would be asking you. That's rather rare these days. You must have a good relationship with her. Although, for her to ask something so personal at a stage in her life where she would normally be making some adult decisions makes me wonder if she is ready for sex. If she has come to you, I would sit down with her and talk to her openly. Obviously if she's asking, she probably not sure and not ready. Make sure she is fully informed of all pros and cons, tell her your honest opinion, your concerns, etc., and then tell her it's a decision only she can make. She'll probably make a good choice. After all, she waiting to talk to you, right? Good luck, to all of you (you, her and her bf).

Answer 4

She's 21 - I actually give her kudos for coming to you at that age - she's legally grown and can do what she wants.
You can however discuss the pros and cons, all actions have consequences (good or bad), and it's a gift you can only give away once. My sister once told me - "every guy you meet has the potential to be your husband but only the one you are with after your wedding day be the one for sure. Then what happens if he is in a bar sometime and another guy you've slept with comes up and tells your husband - hey I had sex with your wife before you. How do think your husband will feel?"

Lastly and most important - trust in the way you've brought her up - you've given her all the right tools to make decisions - now it's up to her to use them.

Answer 5

my gf and i had sex when we were only 14...... 21 is old enuff (in my opinion), why would she ask u? shes an adult, i know its hard for fathers to let their daughters go, but shes an adult, if the guys not the right one, then shell learn that, did u or her mother have a perfect life of having only sex with each other? theres not many people that have sex with their spouse, iether they get hurt or they do it for rong reasons, i say good luck and just pray that the guy is the one.

Answer 6

you are lucky she feels comfortable enough to ask you at any age. I started having sex with my now husband at 21, got pregnant at 22, got married at 23, had our son later the same year and have not looked back. All you can do is express any concerns you may have, hopefully you like her boyfriend too. And if this is her first sexual relationship I really hope you have had "the talk" with her already. Give her condoms talk to her about going on birth control and hope that she stays comfortable like this with you that she keeps coming to you like she just did. Probably if you tried stopping her she might just do and have sex with him anyway but she may not use anything and wind up pregnant the first time.

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

the Only 21 thing throws people... But the daughter asking you shows respect... Talk to her about what will happen and the dangers of sex....Then give her condoms and tell her shes a big girl, she needs to make big girl decisions...

Answer 8

At 21, she doesn't even have to ask you...she is opening the lines of communication though. So all you can do is explain the consequences of sex, and make sure that she usues protection...but keep that line of communication open, and realize that she is an adult now

Answer 9

Only 21? She's a full grown adult. It's time to let go. Tell her you'd prefer for her to wait till marriage but she can do what she wants to because now she's old enough to smoke, drink, basically do whatever she wants. Does she live with you? If so, tell her not to have sex in your house.

Answer 10

Wow you two must be like really close...I really admire that..I mean i never got to be that close to my dad uunfortunately..anyway, since she waited that long i don't think it'll hurt to wait just a little bit more till marriage lol...she is already over 20 so...There is also a chance that if you deny her she might just do it anyway..so just let her know that you care and you are just saying that because you love her :) ...and that if the guy she is with really likes her he won't have a problem acepting her decision.
Hope i somehow helped.
Take care.

Answer 11

she is an adult and no longer under your control trying to force her to see things your way can cause estrangement why not have a talk with her tell her although what she decides to do is her decision she should be sure she is ready for this and not just do it because she is pressured by her friends or bf and and if she decides tp have sex then she should take the right precaution no matter her decision be supportive