My mom and dad have been divorced since I was a toddler. My dad lives far away and I never really knew him. My mom is a beautiful woman and my idol but I get so pissed and angry when she goes out on a date. I feel like I'm being betrayed and I'm very hurt by it every time. She knows it kills me to see her go out. Am I being selfish or is this normal?
2006-07-11 06:37:03 · 15 answers · asked by crashhhintome 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some of you guys are being very insensitive. I can't help what I'm feeling. It's not like I'm trying to ruin her life. It's just that seeing other kids with both parents hurts. Don't call me selfish if you have no clue what it's like. I actually did at one point when I was about 10 like one guy that she went out with. I wonder if it's just that those other guys are sending me bad signals or something. I don't trust guys at all and I dont know who to trust because I've never grown up with a male figure around.
2006-07-11 06:48:35 · update #1
IM NOT TRYING TO BE SELFISH. IF YOUR JUST GOING TO CALL ME A BRAT DON'T BOTHER ANSWERING. IM LOOKING FOR THOUGHTFUL HELP THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY...HELP ME!!!!!!
2006-07-11 06:55:07 · update #2
girlfriend, sometimes life throws us curve balls, this sounds like one for you. You are not being selfish or abnormal. Maybe you can talk to you Mom. Perhaps she hasn't discussed dating with you. If you are uniformed of her intentions then i can see how you feel this way. i have a 15 year old son, his dad died 2.5 years ago, he was at first very angry when i started dating again. He DID NOT want a new Dad. He did not want step siblings. He just wanted to make sure he felt secure and that i loved him no matter what, just simply does not want to loose me too. We talked for along time about it. Once he realized that he is the most important part of my life, and that I am just looking for adult companionship, not a dad for him, no extened family and that I would never leave him for some new man in my life, he has been okay with me dating since then. The fact is that your mom is going to date, we as adults crave our adult alone time. Yes this means dinner, and romance and even sex. Although i am sure your mom loves you very very much, those are things you can not provide for her, she is a human being with instictual needs wants and desires, just like you are and when you are grown you will understand those needs better. Please discuss this with her in a mature manner, and view it as if you understand her natural needs, it is natural for her to want adult male companionship. Good luck girl and I hop this helped.
2006-07-11 07:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man. I know it must be hard. At least you are honest about your feelings. It's normal to feel this way. Do you understand, though, that she's not betraying you by dating? You fulfill a HUGE part of her life but there is a part of it that you just can't fill, no matter what! Should your Mom remain loveless? Can you imagine your Mom telling you that you aren't every allowed to date or marry? Or fill that part of your life with someone you care about? No. I know it will be hard because you kind of have to give up part of your Mom...her attention and her time. But what you will get back will be so much better. She'll be happier and a better person for it...and that will trickle down to you.
I loved my Dad very much. I adored him and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. When he died, I would have been more than happy to see my Mom date or marry again. I want her to have that in her life and regain some of the sparkle she has because of a romantic love. My father would have wanted that for her because he loved her.
I feel that you love your Mom and the best gift you can give her is your blessing to make her life the best it can be.
It is normal...and...it's a little selfish. I'm not saying that you're bad person because of it. Most people are selfish in a lot of ways.
2006-07-11 18:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being a selfish little brat .. that's exactly what I would tell my daughter.
Do you know what your mom has gone through to raise you without your dad ... she's had to give up so much of her life to raise you and make sure you were number one in her life. She's probably upset that you're not accepting the fact she's looking for happiness in her life ... Outside of being "just" MOM ...
Let her have some fun, let her enjoy being single .. it's ok .. it's not like she's going out to leave you behind, I'm sure if you're old enough to use the computer then you're old enough to understand she has needs too .. !
And that whole crap about you not trusting guys .. that's fine ... I wouldn't trust too many guys either if I grew up without a dad ... but that doesn't give you the right to be upset at your mom. Sounds like she dates "a lot" ... you don't have to get close to every one of them .. listen to your heart ( haha sounds gay I know but it's so true ) when it comes to love ... if you have a bad feeling about one of her dates then make sure to let your mom know .. just keep talking to your mom and make sure you're both on the same page and understand each other it will make everything so much easier ... just talk .. !
And people are calling you selfish because you're only thinking about your feelings, your needs, your jealousy, your problem with trust and you're saying you're not trying to be selfish.. read again .. try walking in somebody elses shoes for one day and see how things change ... it's all good advise .. I would just listen for once and read ... not hard ... suck it all in and learn ... !
2006-07-11 13:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal but you can't judge her she needs to find love just like you will someday. Besides what this about your dad? You never really new him. Does it upset you knowing he is out there doing the same thing or he may have a new famly? Put yourself in their shoes and really think on that next time she goes on a date. YOU should be happy for her. Unless the guy is a total creep THAT I understand.
2006-07-11 13:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by honey2bears 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is normal. Just remember, your mom needs and wants adult company. She is more than just a mom, she is a person who deserves to be happy. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open with her, but let her have her own time.
2006-07-11 13:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being very selfish and jealous. If you loved your mom, you would want her to be happy. She is not betraying you or trying to hurt you . . . she deserves a life, too.
2006-07-11 13:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by kris2166 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know about whether its selfish or normal. my parents are married.
But i think that this may be normal becuase you might want to have your birth parents together and cant stand having your mom go out with other guys destroying your dream.
i wish you the best
2006-07-21 02:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope it's not ok to be mad. Your mother is single. She is an adult and doesn't need your permission to go out on a date. Yes you are being extremely selfish and nope it's not normal...grow up.
2006-07-19 03:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a selfish little person. A date can fulfill needs that your mom has that you just can't.
2006-07-11 13:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by a_poor_misguided_soul 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is always hard to see on of your parents dating, it is kind of surreal. but the thing that you need to remember is, you want her to be happy. your mom is a good person who deserves to find somebody who makes her happy. you are not going to be there all the time, she should be able to find someone who she can grow old with.
2006-07-11 13:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by me m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋