CHEATER?! ok I am but help....?

Question

Okay I'm getting married in a year and I cheated on my fiance with my ex who I had an extremely hard time getting over. I always thought I had feelings for him still, but now that I did that I realized that I am now 100% in love with my fiance. I shut the door for my ex and will never do it again! The guilt is killing me!!!! Should I tell my fiance?I could ever do that again...

Answer 1

If cheating with your ex answered your deep seeded questions whether you loved him more than your fiance then take that as a blessing that it happened before you got married...
You said you now know you love your fiance 100%... That should be a burden lifted off your mind... and will allow you to focus more on your future with him without any doubts...
Some words are better left unsaid... Make it up to your fiance by showing him the amount of happiness and love he gives to you...

Answer 2

If you tell him it will clear your conscience but you need to understand what will happen when you do. He may be mad at you then forgive you or he may never forgive you and call off the wedding. It is hard to tell you exactly what to do because this is a tough situation if you tell him you need to reasure him that this can and will never happen again. When exactly did you cheat on him was it a while ago or what? Well you also can think that when you do tell him he will see your honesty and be mad for a while and then he'll say ok we'll be fine. But you are going to have to figure out what to do for your self. You need to see what the right thing for the both of you would be. Maybe if you don't tell him, he will never find out but the question is how will you feel. If the wedding is in a year and you tell him now then it might be ok because there is time for him to heal and say i forgive you. Well i really do hope this helps and much luck. I hope it works out for the best and i hope you have the best wedding in world. : )

Answer 3

STOP READING EVERYONE'S ANSWERS!!! There, now listen...do NOT tell him if you love him and want to stay with him. The truth is, he may have been unfaithful too; maybe not but the only one that feels better if you say anything is NOONE. He will leave (it's a guy thing, he HAS to), you will be upset and feel like you lost the love of your life (even if he's not, you'll always think that way because he's gone). Now if you are sure that you want to be with him forever (which, call me a skeptic but I think biologically, attractive people are just that; attracted to and by other attractive people) say nothing and stay with him. Over time, the guilt will fade especially if you do make it. Think about it, on your 50th anniversary, do you really think you'll be thinking about a one time thing 50 years ago? Heck no. NEVER rush into telling all. Remember, truth sometimes hurts much more.

Answer 4

Well you done it and got it out your system and it was before you got married you realize you made a mistake and you love your fiance and you will never do it again,so just chalk it up go on and forget about it i wouldn't say a word it may only hurt what u have and I'm sure your ex isn't worth your fiance.He will never know and no sense in saying anything good luck with your new man and everything will be okay!

Answer 5

I generally say honesty is the best policy but under these circumstances I can't see what I believe will be a committed marriage on your part be destroyed by your lack of commitment prior to being married. If you tell him I doubt very seriously if the love shared will ever be as strong as it is right now....your consequences for your actions will be your guilt..but on the other hand it will also be a reminder that he deserves all your love, even during a weak moment.

Answer 6

No - take it to your grave - you made the mistake, now you have to live with it.
You will totally destroy the trust of your fiance towards you. He will always think in the back of his mind what you are doing when he is not around, or when you are on the phone or computer, text messaging, etc.

If you cannot stand the guilt, go get counseling, but don't tell your fiance and make his life miserable or have him live with his "deserved" mistrust of you.

Answer 7

Yea, and you may not be getting married either if you are willing to face the consequence. Your ex knew what he was doing to put you in this situation. You should have been able to pick up on his motive, (get you in trouble). So, find a decent time, maybe out to dinner, and tell your future husband. Hopefully, he will forgive you if he can keep his faith in you for being loyal. You really don't want to start out a marriage with a lie, or secrets, because take it from me, they do come out when you least expect them to and it won't be nice.

Answer 8

I think it is a secret you should keep. If you tell your fiance, the trust will not be the same. Do you really care for your finance to cheat on him while you are engaged? You might want to think this over before you get married.

Answer 9

Take it from someone who has been there. Cheating is something that happens when you put yourself in the position to make a bad decision. Anyone can do that once. More than once, makes it a habit. Best for you to try to talk to your future husband and let him hear it from you, because if he hears it from someone else, then your dealing with two issues, Cheating and hiding important information. Be sure before you commit to marriage that you and he can talk about anything, love really is for better and worse.

Answer 10

Technically your not married yet so it's not like your obligated to tell him. I'd do some soul searching. If you can handle the guilt then don't tell him. If you can't, then tell him and probably get dumped and you'll end up getting hurt double.

Remember, guys are not as understanding as woman. We're self centered, ego centric, and emotional challenged.

If I was your fiancee, I'd separate with you so just becase I knew your love for me wasn't real from the start.