Different races going out??? Sex or no sex???

Question

for those ppl who HAVEN'T read my post b4....
well, i'm south asian,(filipino, thai, cambodian, and singaporian). Right now i'm going out w/ this black guy.

we been going out 4 like 2 months now, he thinks we should move up a level in our relationship and start having sex and stuff. i'm only 14, and he's 17, u might think we are too young. but where i live, we got gurlz that are pregnant when they're only10. so it's not abnormal for a 14 year old to have sex. AND I REallY LIKE HIm! but the problem is my mom doesn't kno we are going out. SHE IS RACIST and thinks going out w/ black guyz would get me raped and pregnant. SHE WOULD NEVER approve of our relationship. so far she doesn't kno we are going out. But if i hav sex w/ my man and i get pregnant, SHE'S GONN KNO!!! and she would kick me out for going out w/ a black guy and getting pregnant! But i really like my man, and i dunno wat to do. have sex or not have sex? HELP!!!!

FOR WHERE WE LIVE, 14 IS NOT CONSIDERED TOO YOUNG, WE GOT 10 YEAR OLD MOMS, SO 14 IS IN THE MIDDLE, NOT YOUNG, AND NOT OLD.

I REALLY LIKE HIM THO, I THNIK HE LIKES ME BACK JUST AS MUCH.

Answer 1

DONT DO IT

Answer 2

umm...... not much i can say to sway you because I know you're going to do what you want to. That's ok. Lessons are best learned by living. But here's my thoughts:

Just because people are getting pregnant at age 10 doesn't make it ok. Where you live doesn't define morality. It's something that's universal. Whoever is sleeping with a 10 year old child needs to be put in prison even if he's a minor. If he's under 12 he needs some good ole' fashioned corporal punishment.

While I think that 17 year olds that date 14 year olds tend to be losers (i should know, I done it once), that's your call. If you like the guy, he might be the right one. I don't know him and cannot for or against his character.

On race: Well, even though I'm just a hillbilly from Alabama, I guess it's ok for date people from other races. However, I pose this question. Is the fact that your mother would never approve what makes him so attractive? Think about that. When I was younger I done some things with a Wicca chick (a witch), and I thought she was so awesome because my mother told me to stay away from those people. Looking back on it, I'd do it again but for completely different reasons (lol).

Long story short, if you have sex (and you probably will if you haven't already), use protection. A condom at least. You don't want to end up pregnant. Then you mom will definitely find out.

Answer 3

Just because you have girls who get pregnant at 10 years of age doesn't mean it's a particularily good idea. I know that in the Muslim countries, 10 is old enough, but ten years old is still a little girl. And fourteen is not grown up.
Is your mother really racist, or is she just trying to protect you from ANY sexual encounters at your very young age. You really need to know someone a lot longer, and a lot better, than you do, before you consider going to that step. Think about what would happen if you did get pregnant, and your mom did kick you out. What would you do then? Would your guy marry you? Could he support you and your child? Would he want to? What kind of life would have have if he didn't marry you?
You've got too much ahead of you to throw it all away on something like this.
When you're older, and a lot more mature, you may meet someone who you really love, and who returns that love. It doesn't matter if he's black, white or purple, what does matter is that the two of you are mature enough to make such important decisions.
This isn't coming from a racist standpoint -- my son is in a mixed marriage, so I have some idea of what the problems can be, and also of how good the relationship can be, IF you have chosen the right person.
You've got a crush on this guy. That's all. And if he's taking advantage of a little girl with a crush on him, he's not much of a man, no matter what colour he is.
Think it through....

Answer 4

You said that where you are from that 10 year olds get pregnant. the question is, is that the norm? If your culture condones young girls having sex (which some do) that should not be an issue. If you are in the USA then you are committing a crime and should wait. As far as the racial aspect of your question. I am from what used to be predominately black Washington DC. I grew up dating only black women exclusively even when I moved to Texas and New York City (the Bronx, even though I dated Puerto Rican women there but they are on the same page as we are in NYC and our cultures intermingle well). Anyway, I moved to Albuquerque, NM and there are not very many black women here and I am not going without a lady. I met a white woman and she help me overcome my fears about interracial couples. I realized she is a human being first and there are more regional differences than racial differences. I am glad this has happened to me because I was narrow-minded, though not prejudice, in my pursuits. So race should not make a difference even if the ones around do not agree. But at 14 you do need to consider your mother's feelings because your are probably living under her roof.

Answer 5

So just because 10 yr. olds are getting pregnant, then it's ok for YOU to get pregnant? That makes it right? This is not a race issue. You are too young to be having sex, period. Do you know of the responsibility it takes to raise a baby??? Besides money and time. A baby changes your life forever, either you want it or not.

Anyway, I don't think whatever we tell you is going to change your mind, so at least make him use a condom and don't do it in your most fertile days of the month. But I say you wait, you're too young for sex.

Answer 6

First, let me compliment you for thinking about this situation before acting on it. As a mother of three (2 of them teens), I know that sometimes peer pressure is hard to resist. A wise woman once told me, " If you don't know what to do, don't do nothin'!" You have plenty of time to "do nothin". What is the rush? There are lots of things to consider--pregnancy, disease, ridicule (from your mom), just to name a few. You never said you "love" your boyfriend. If you are going to give your body to a "man", you should at least love him. What would he do if you told him no? Try it. You are obviously not ready to take this step or you would not be crying out for help. If you tell him you are not ready, what will he do? Stay or leave? This not a matter of race. Another thought, if you were to become pregnant and your mom kicked you out (like you assume), can this 17 year old "manchild" support you and a baby? Just tell your guy you need more time, and do some more thinking about this, if he really likes you, he will wait and not pressure you. You don't have to have sex with someone just because "you really like your man". Also, I think he is too old for you. You should be with a nice boy your age who doesn't mind holding your hand and putting his arm around you, no matter what color he is. I hope you rake my advice. Peace.

Answer 7

Yes, it is common for 14 year olds to have sex nowadays. In my opinion, race is the least of the issues here. Even though it is common for young ladies to have sex, it doesn't mean that it is right. As I'm sure you've seen, it is next to impossible to care for a baby and get an education unless the baby's grandma helps out. That's not fair to her, she's already chosen to quit having kids.

Get your education and don't let your neighborhood (or your boyfriend, whatever race he is doesn't matter!) influence you to do things that are wrong.

If you were to get pregnant, the least of your concerns would be what your mom would think. It would be your baby growing up "ghetto" instead of having better choices in life. So not fair for everyone involved.

It is nothing new for guys to want to bump it up into the next level...been going on forever. He can just wait. If he doesn't want to, then he doesn't have any respect.

Take care!

Answer 8

OK, You want to have sex and your considering it behind your mom's back. It happens. I'm not going to say anything about your age, but I will say I'm glad you aren't one of the ten-year-old moms.

Here's the thing: if you don't want to get caught, don't get pregnant. Do you have access to condoms, or birth control pills? If you do, use them, and use them every time. Condoms are best, because you don't know how many other women he's slept with, or what diseases they might have had. Don't have sex with him until he is has been tested for STDs (and until you have if you have had sex before) and you have seen the results and the results are negative, for everything. If that's too much to ask, at least don't have sex with him without a condom before you get these test results, OK? You could get a fatal disease, and that's one thing you are WAY too young for.

If you can't get access to condoms or birth control, don't have sex with him. It's not worth having a baby at your young age (even if there are younger moms in your area), and it's not worth getting a disease at any age.

Answer 9

Don't have sex so young, wait atleast till your 18. If your boyfriend refuses to wait that long, then he's not worth it, and this is not because of his race but just as a person, he is not the one for you.

Tell your mom that you have a friend you like, don't say boyfriend yet, again wait till your older to talk about it with your mum. By then, you would be in a more independant position to make your own descision. In conclusion, honey your too young....atleast don't get so physical now, that you may regret later. Take care!

Answer 10

Are you prepared to be a mother? What would you say to your 14 yr old daughter? Don't jeopardize your relationship with your mom just to have sex with your boyfriend.She's the only Mom you'll ever have and so far she's cared for you longer than anyone. Tell your Mom first. Then, don't do it just because other people are. Think about your future. Like, what do you want to be later in life? He can wait. It's not going to kill him to do without sex. right?

Answer 11

There is nothing wrong with going out with guys of different races, but there is something wrong with a 10 12 14yr old having sex, I don't care how acceptive it is where you are. You should want more for yourself. And the most important things is if this guy is 17 he is not supposed to be dating/having sex with you. It makes it worst that his Mom doesn't like him and if she found out you had sex with him, she could have him arrested for rape. If you care anything about him, you wouldn't have sex with him for that reason only. Wait until you are older and able to really consent. Don't ruin his life by getting him arrested and having to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.