How can we make things work?

Question

We have an 18 month old son together. We are complete opposites. We don't enjoy doing anything together. He never wants to be home. I'm too controlling. I feel like his mother. But we still love each other. Any advise?

Answer 1

Sounds like you already know the answer, quite being controlling and he may want to stay home more. Don't be his mother be his friend and things will change.

Answer 2

Well they say "Opposites attract...and then they ATTACK" - sounds like your dealing with some truth to this old adage. Seems like the only thing that interest you two was sex at the time...and now you have a precious child together. I would say to first get counseling...see if you can make this work. However you did not specify if you are married. I will go under the assumption that you two are "not married".

The vibe that I am getting is that the reason you are so controlling is because you'd like some committment to your relationship - you want to be married to this man - maybe for your child sake.

Listen...do the counseling first - open up to your dislikes and have him do the same.

I married a man who was extremely controlling...I finally told him I was leaving - and he made the change - we have now been married a very long time. We too...to this day...are very much opposites - but we continue to work through it. I actually think we're meeting in the middle.

I say with change, counseling...and a little bit of church involvement - you can make this work.

Good Luck & God Bless the three of you.

Answer 3

You have to remember that your life changes alot when a child comes into it. Did you focus ALL your time to the baby the first 18 months? Maybe your spouse felt left out and needed to find something else to do. My husband said at one point, hey remember me. Thats when I realized I use to focus on him now I was focusing on our little one. As soon as he said that, we changed the way we spent our time.

Put your son to bed around 8:30 EVERY night, so you can focus some time on your man. It made a HUGE difference for us.

Other thoughts:

Are you married? How old are you?

You never stay together because of child. If your not happy, your son can tell that.

It sounds like he's only concerned with what HE wants. Good luck, men DO NOT Change, and you can NOT change them.

You'll always love each other, you had a child together.

You deserve to be happy, so if your not married, then I would break it off and have a good friendship so you can raise your son showing him a happy life.

If your married, you do everything you can think of to make it work, and if that doesn't work, then you may need to get divorced.
Good Luck...Relationships take alot of work.

Answer 4

Well....it sounds like the both of you need to communicate and talk more...this relationship obviously is going to need a little extra work since you both are complete opposites. If the both of you could possibly compromise than I think there is hope..I would go to counseling if you can because that way there is a third party involved and you can get an outside opinion. If you both truly love eachother then it's definitely worth a try! Just don't stay together soley for the purpose of your son, he will only catch on the older he gets as to how the two of you relate to one another..especially if you are fighting.
Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

The only way it will work is if you sort out your differences, and if you both want to make it work. Talking to each other and expressing how you feel is the key to any relationship. Otherwise your wasting your time. Don't just stay with someone because you have a child together.

Answer 6

Any relationship needs compromise. It's about the give and take.

Communication is what you need and if it's still not working counselling.