I have been married for almost 5 years. My wife and I were both in the army, she got stationed in Germany, while I got stuck in Texas. We have been separated our entire marriage. During that time, my wife cheated on me NUMEROUS times, and as a result, now has a 2 year old daughter. Now, mind you, after the first time we "officially" separated, I was dating quite frequently as well. I just want some advice on how I should act towards her daughter. Her father is a real scumbag, and was abusive to my wife, quite recently I might add. So he's pretty much out of the picture. What should I do?
2006-07-11 04:26:16 · 10 answers · asked by Wanting to do the right thing 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Act like you are her father. Treat her like she is the daughter you've never had. She's 2. They are pretty cute at that age and NEED a man in their life (not to mention that they are hilarious). Be that man. The good man that loves her for her. Be the dad that her bio dad isn't. You can do it. :)
2006-07-11 04:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!!
Two ways of doing this:
1. Accept the child as your own and having a piece of crap for a real dad. But there is no going back on this. If you accept her and then reject her, you will never get her back.
2. Dump both and get over them.
I suggest the first ESPECIALLY if you are VERY SURE your staying together. I don't give your "marriage" much of a chance but I am not there. There is always a good chance I would be wrong. I hope I am.
2006-07-11 04:32:25 · answer #2 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with a woman who had a myriad of "affairs", and even had a child out of wedlock, while you were still legally married? Forget the child, rethink your situation. She obviously wants to provide a father for her child (NOT YOUR CHILD), and you fit perfectly. A willing guy who let her cheat, and is even willing to accept some "scumbags" kid. You are something. If you enjoy being run over by buses, stay in this relationship. But if I were you, I'd run fast. Real fast.
2006-07-11 04:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both really want the marriage, you should do three things:
(1) Relocate to another home city.
(2) Have a renewal of your vows in a classy place on your fifth anniversary, and invite family members.
(3) Treat the little girl like an angel, and never discuss her father with her.
2006-07-11 04:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you,....doesnt it sound kinda bad to say, "how do I cope?".......that makes you sound like you are getting back in this relationship with her "unwillingly". Now, you ask how do you "act towards this 2 year old child?......c'mon........she's a 2 year old child, she's not your wife's boyfriend !.......you said you're in the army right?........then you know about the chain of command,...this little girl isnt a soldier, in fact she has 16 years before she can become a soldier......certainly you wouldnt treat this kid as if she doesnt belong?......just be a dad to her even if you arent her father and dont be constantly reminding yourself that she isnt your blood. Geeeeeeesh man,........just remember that you didnt have to pay for the kid's delivery and she isnt some kind of disease that you can just fix with a pill. So I'm imaging that you're at Fort Hood or out in El Paso, thanks for serving your country and best of luck.
2006-07-11 04:44:38 · answer #5 · answered by theoregonartist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's your wife, then you stand up for her and her child, which is a huge part of her life and her heart now. Not to say that she doesn't still have a huge part of her heart for you. But, if she's going to cheat on you then it's not worth it, unless you swing. If you want it to work, it'll work out. I wish you the best.
2006-07-11 04:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by rebekahfayth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a daddy , love her as if she was your own.
forgive your wife and show her the man you are in actions.
remember-anybody can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy.....you decide what you want to be.
daughters are very special and in time you will understand what this means.how you act ,how you conduct yourself will affect her understanding of what a man is and who she will choose later on when she is of age.
best of luck to you and your Family.
2006-07-11 04:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by broken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer certain the position you stay, so the guidelines ought to decision yet, the following in lengthy island, certain....you are able to report for toddler help. inspite of in case your no longer divorced yet. You owe it on your toddler to attempt to provide her each and every earnings that she ought to have had, in case you had stayed mutually. in case you'll prefer to attempt to be lifelike about issues, possibly you ought to attempt to confer with mom first and word in case you 2 can come to some type of contract on your own. If no longer, then courtroom should be an option
2016-10-14 08:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treat her daughter like your own and make sure her father doesn't abuse her, she is a part of your wife so if you take your wife back you must accept her and love her.
2006-07-11 04:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she cheat on you numerous time and now child not yours. and ummmm what made you think that she will not cheat on you this time and what if she have aids and hiv that she didn't know or she did know not telling you.?????
2006-07-11 04:34:08 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋