I've been single now for about 5 months after a 2 year relationship. Baring in mind she ended it. Till this very day I still think about my ex on the odd occassion and just makes me think if I will ever find love again. I've kept busy etc and have no contact with my ex. I miss having a best friend and the usual things that come into a loving relationship. Just I am so scared it is un-true, I don't know how I can give my heart or trust again. Also will I ever find another girl/f or will I always be comparing with my ex. These little things worry me, but yet I am having a good life at the present. I do have alot of girls who are friend's now who I hang out with. Has anyone been in a similar situation where they don't want to be in love ever again and is to afriad of what is going to happen??
2006-07-11 03:06:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I split up with my x after 5 years,i ended it after nearly 3 years of being totally unhappy.
He drank alot(thurs fri sat&sun),
I worked weird shifts so between him and the pub and me at work we never saw each other.
All his money went on booze and fags.
He had a son to his previous partner but refused to give any money to help raise him,instead he asked me to give the boy money,i refused.
We slept in seperate rooms because he would fall through the door most nights drunk and absolutely reek of smoke so i used to get in 1 of the spare beds,we just ended up falling into that pattern and eventually that became the routine until i eventually moved into the spare room.
We didnt have sex for nearly a year because he was always drunk and again stank of smoke,and i didnt love him and couldnt face having sex with him,my skin used to crawl at the thought of it.
Eventually after one night of being locked out because he had passed out drunk on the couch and i couldnt wake him up to open the door i had had enough.
I slept at work and that morning i text him and told him to was over and he was to move out.
I kept the house because i could afford the mortgage and he couldnt.
He got a flat a few roads away and within a few weeks had another girlfriend.
He eventually moved in with her and they married.
That was nealry 7 years ago,i now have a loving and very supportive partner,he asked me to marry him last year and i said yes.
After 5 years of living with a drunk i didnt see light at the end of the tunnel for myself and thought i would never know what love felt like but after meeting my partner i now realise what i would have missed if i had not trusted my judgement,and my partner.
In the 5 months you have been single you have probably had time to sit and think about alot of things,especially your x.
Moving on will happen intime but dont rush it or you may start second guessing your judgement.
Enjoy yourself and when your ready you will know it.
Good luck to you
christy
2006-07-11 03:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely. I have those same questions, however, I feel I will one day find true love. My friends are always discussion marriage but it haven't once crossed my mind. I think you are going to always compare your new mate to your ex, however don't verbalize it so much because it could make them seem as though you want your old girlfriend back. Just wait. I have. I think it's worth it. I think God bring people in your life for a reason. Maybe just to teach you a lesson, not to stay there forever. Just enjoy the temporary things and move on. You'll find someone that will eliminate you ex completely. It just take time don't rush into a bad relationship.
2006-07-11 10:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by chuchee1998 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I was married to a woman for 24+ years and we have two children together. Five years ago she decided to get rid of me in a very ugly, messy way and married another guy pretty quickly.
I was a complete emotional wreck for a year and a half, and completely threw myself into my work and started spending as much time as possible with extended family out of town.
About six months after the divorce-against-my-will was final, I finally cleared my head and started looking for a permanent new relationship. I found a young lady 17 years my junior who had never been married and had no children. We married a few months later and life has been amazing ever since.
Be patient. Good luck.
2006-07-11 10:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. I fought it for about 6 months. Kept telling myself that I was not ready. Dated and never let anything last too long. Then I met some one who I really cared about. I continued to fight it for about 3 months until I finally woke up and realized that i was being dumb and that I had some one right in front of me that cared about me and that i should be happy. Took me a while but when I knew I knew. You will too. When the time is right, you will know. Just dint let a good thing pass you buy because society thinks you should wait a certain amount of time.
2006-07-11 11:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you... well i was in a 5 year relationship and it ended about 6 months ago.. we get attached to our pets.. let alone a human who we let enter our heart.. So it may be hard but time is the best healer my friend. "This too shall pass" I cant give you a number but eventually you will know when you are ready.. and with the right person.. you will not be afraid any more... it will come around... I promise !!
2006-07-11 10:25:04 · answer #5 · answered by Needy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same experience.
I had to believe first that only I can make myself happy ... it doesn't take another woman. After realizing and living on this principle. I gained my own happiness and am now in a healthy relationship.
You have to love your self first. How can you expect a relationship from another person if you do not know how to love yourself ?
2006-07-11 10:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by j_kahanding 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give it some more time to heal your heart , and trust me u will be able to love somebody again and trust that person , just keep your eye up and that right person will come along and take all of your worrys away for u
2006-07-11 10:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to lisson to your heart. You will know when you are ready to find a love again. I have been there it will happen agian when you least exspect it. Good luck....
2006-07-11 10:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by ladyjamie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up sweetie just keep looking.someday the right woman will come along.have faith in you're self I did and now
i'm with mr right.good luck and keep ur head up cause you will find the right one someday.
2006-07-11 10:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll find love again. Just start dating casually and you'll find a girl who makes your heart sing. good luck.
2006-07-11 10:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by nobodyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋