How do I overcome separation anxiety?

Question

I've just recently been thru a break up and I developed a mild case of separation anxiety because of it. I know separation anxiety is mostly associated with kids, but I think I got it since I was a kid when my parents separated and I had to live without them. Ever since I've had trouble with change and with letting go. After the break up, I panic every time someone leaves me or when I know I'll be alone even for a short time. Is there a cure?

Answer 1

doing things to boost your self confidence. Anything that has to do with fear of being alone, or fear of being around people generally has to do with a lack of confidence.

That would make sense in your case, seeing as how being without your parents after their divorce would definitely strip whatever self confidence you had.

I would start with finding something you enjoy doing. drawing, art, poetry, dancing, sewing, whatever. Do those things on a regular basis, as 'you' time.

Also, keep a journal. Instead of slipping into panic mode whenever you are alone, pull out your note book and write whatever youre feeling, writing things down gives you a better chance to deal with them. It clears your mind and gives you better perspective.

Also, you need a routine, this is the most basic of things you can do for yourself. That routine needs to include some sort of exercise, even if its just a walk around the block. Find something that works for you, so that all of your free time has an activity. This doesnt mean that you never break from it, but when things like break ups occure you can fall back on your routine.

Make sure you have something for your bed time too, either writing in your journal, sketching for a few minutes, or reading a book. Be sure to do those things even when you're in a relationship.

You need consistancy, and you need to realize that you function just as well on your own as you do in the company of another.

I would also advise staying out of a relationship until you get some couseling, or until you can allow yourself to love someone because they need you, not because you need them in order to be happy. Right now, your insecurities cause you to search for safety and purpose in the affection of a boyfriend, you need that love and attention in order to feel validated.

its not healthy for you or your relationships. You need to learn to be independant before you can learn to be plural. Otherwise all your relationships will end with you in panic mode.

Insecurity is normal, but dealing with it is still needed. And you can do it, anyone can, its just a matter or allowing yourself to believe that you're okay. Your life does go on, and you can be happy in any situation. you'll get there :)

Answer 2

Unfortunately if the neighbours are on your case, you do have a problem! How long are you leaving this lad on his own? I'd suggest getting a crate (to prevent any more destruction) although at 7 months, I'm slightly concerned that this is not a small puppy any more, and again you should never ever leave an adult for longer than 4 hours in a crate (and even that, in my book, is too long on a regular basis really) so obviously a young healthy 7 month old pup will simply go stir crazy cooped up in a crate. Crating this dog could amount to crate abuse. I don't call this separation anxiety per se - he's full of energy, he's bored, and the only outlet for his frustration is to be noisy, and destructive. So what's to be done? Depending on how long you are leaving him (and everybody has to be out sometimes during a day), and assuming this is for quite a long time, can you get somebody to come in and take him for a good run at some point during your absence. If this is the case, you can get a crate for him, but only if he's left alone for a couple of hours, and after a good run. I appreciate how your neighbour feel - been there, done that and it's not nice listening to a dog yapping for hours on end, even if you are a dog person. Their complaint is a wake-up call for you. And frankly, it could well be that your only option is to find this lad a home where he will be happier to have people around most of the time. Some dogs/breeds tolerate being alone better than others, and this is one that doesn't! Maybe find yourselves something a little less high-energy?

Answer 3

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 4

Try to find a hobby, or even an interesting job, meet friends, that way you aren't so dependent on a relationship. It's possible that because of the insecurities you developed as a child, no fault of your own, that you might be a little over bearing, or over dependent when you do meet a boyfriend. Good luck

Answer 5

Give yourself time, time to heal...keeping busy is great for such anxiety. Perhaps join in participation at a local volunteer agency may be helpful. The more outing you do on your own, the better. Believe in yourself enough to try new things, meet new people. Hope that helps out a bit, good luck!

Answer 6

you may also have a medical condition that can easily be cured by some Klonopins. But there's probably a lot more to it than that. I would say reach out to someone new and le things happen.

Answer 7

I think the most important thing is to find out what makes you happy. What do you like to do? Find some great hobbies and you know what, when you're happy, it will be noticed and men will be attracted to that.

Answer 8

you can just find someone that will spend a lot of time with you, and then youll be cured