My first love was widowed only 3 months ago. I haven't seen him in 15 years. I'd like to relight the flame if possible, but I don't want to push....help!
2006-07-11 01:35:49 · 12 answers · asked by italianangel41 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't hurry. But be sure to be a part of his grief. But be sincere as a friend and study the situation. It requires further contact with him; may be many times. Then only you can reassess the current scenario, because you had lost contact for 15 years. Be sure to be a real, sincere and compassionate friend at present.
2006-07-11 01:48:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now he will probably only be looking for a friend. Each person goes through the grieving process in different ways and until he has had time to fully grieve he will not be ready to move on. He will appreciate your friendship and just being there. Let him decide when and if he would like to pursue something more than friendship with you. It will give both of you time to get to know one another again as well and rekindle your old friendship. If he chooses not to relight the flame you may at least gain a really good friend and sometimes that is by far the better treasure. Good Luck to both of you! I hope you are able to contribute in the healing of his broken heart.
2006-07-11 01:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by Kwk2lrn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a little note saying you are aware of his loss and if there is anything you can do, or if he just wants to talk, that he shouldn't hesitate to call on you. Wait a week or so to see if he responds. If he doesn't, then wait another week or so before calling upon him and asking him if he would like to go somewhere with you. If he doesn't respond to that, then it's too soon. Before leaving, reiterate to him that you are there for him, then go. The next move is definitely up to him or you are being too pushy. When he's ready and if he wants to he will call you. I hope this works for you both.
2006-07-11 01:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not imagine you need to be courting him in any respect. Six weeks isn't a lengthy time period. He needs time to deal including his grief. help him by potential of the grieving procedure yet you should carry out on some thing else till he has a minimum of grieved. I under no circumstances understood how human beings bounce into the subsequent relationship so quick yet when it quite works for you - bypass for it. good success!
2016-12-01 01:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months might be soon. he may still be confused or feel like if he dates he is betraying his love for his wife. anyway, if he is ready be a listener, and a friend. he will most likely talk about her even if he doesn't mean to. whatever you do don't say anything negative about her b/c the fact that she is passed on, no matter what you will look like the bad guy. there's an episode on sex and the city that was true but humerous that dealt with a situation like this....how to date a guy who's wife passed on. you should check it out.
2006-07-11 01:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make friends again and be aware of that person's needs. By being in tune with them not only will you know what to say and do but also how far to go in the relationship.
2006-07-11 02:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by d1ckdeckard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strike up a friendship first and they will let you know if and when they are ready to take the next step.
2006-07-11 01:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by jaxny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well are you two still friends if so just be there to help him. he;ll need lots of help to start all over again and take it very slow with him but just let him know your there to help him and be his Friend too . all i can say is just be there for him
2006-07-11 01:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him open up slowly if thats what it takes. Be supportive now and let him know that you will always be there for him. Then see what happens. GOOD LUCK.
2006-07-11 01:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by jaysboobie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become friends first...start by extending your sympathies via card or phone call.
2006-07-11 01:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by Back in the Day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋