My self and a collegue at work are both struggling to concieve,?

Question

and to lighten ther mood we are after a few old wives tales on "guaraunteed" conception, don't worry we certainly won't hold anyone liable if they don't work ;)

I'm after some old wives tales please, something funny!! i've got the more serious (although still fun) stuff down!

Answer 1

I found a couple of different places; however I did not copy the addresses before I closed the window. Sorry, but here's what they had to say:

If you want a boy?
Allow your husband to seduce you into sex first.
Be a worrywart.
Dad – drink lots of sodas
Eat red meat and salty snacks (such as pretzels)
Have intercourse at night.
Have intercourse on the odd days of the month.
Have “standing” intercourse.
Have intercourse when there is a quarter moon.
Have intercourse with you on your belly and your husband on your back.
Sleep to the left of your husband.
Make sure your husband climaxes first.
Point your head to the north while having intercourse.
Stay on your back after intercourse to give the “boy” sperm a chance to get to the egg.
Warm up his testicles

If you want a girl
Both partners should eat lots of fish and veggies.
Give in to your chocolate craving (or just eat sweets in general).
Have intercourse during a full moon.
Have intercourse in the afternoon.
Have intercourse with the man on top.
Seduce your husband.
Stay calm and cool to conceive a girl.
You climax first and think pink.
Eating too much watermelon will make your child be born with a birth mark.

If you deny a pregnant woman the food she craves you will get a stye. Scientists can say with 100% certainty that, if you deprive a pregnant woman of a craving, your eyes will not suffer from a stye. The odds that the pregnant woman who wants her food will punch you in the eye are much greater than getting a bacterial infection.

In essence, if you want to conceive a boy you should have a dinner of red meat and pretzels – make hubby drink a soda. Make sure it’s an odd day of the month at night with a quarter moon. Let him seduce you. Have sex while standing and then while you are on your back. Oh, let him climax first while you worry. And afterwards be sure to sleep to the left of your husband.

For conceiving a girl, you seduce him during a full moon on an even day in the afternoon after a lunch of fish and vegetables and a dessert of chocolate. You are on top during intercourse, then try it missionary style. You climax first. And oh, stay calm and cool.

Don't forget to have intercourse with your head pointing north and eat a chocolate bar on a Wednesday of an odd month

Answer 2

I think your problem starts with you and your Colleague.... i assume that you are both female??

Unfortunately unless you have a Turkey baster neither of you will conceive, i understand through my Biology lessons that Scissor Sisters are unable to conceive naturally with out a male companion.

I am usually only available for weddings and Disco's but should you put a special request in i ould consider helping you both out for no charge ;o)

On a little serious note Congratulations for when ever the magic little moment happens x

Answer 3

To get pregnant you must have sex on a day that your eggs are being released.

After the 3rd day from the day that menses started put a thermometer into your mouth and check your body temperature every morning before you start turning in bed. The best time is at about 4 a.m. Maintain a chart. You will find that on one day the body temperature drops from 1/2 degree to one degree. This is the day that your eggs are being released. If you want to get pregnant this is the day that you must have sex. Tell your husband to ejaculate on his inward thrust so that the sperms will shoot deep inside.

After having sex you must stay in bed for about 30 mins with your knees bent up with a pillow under your buttocks so that the sperms will not pour out - to enable them to travel up.

Get your husband to save his sperms in the testacles for at least 5 days before sex to enable them to mature well to do their job.

Answer 4

I found that the fertility statue at 'Ripley's Believe or Not' in Blackpool worked! All you need to do is rub the statue and you can fall pregnant within 3 months! Apparently they have had 1000's of messages from women who it has worked for. It certainly worked for me!!

Answer 5

for starters only drink bottled water second man eats lots of brazils then have the filthiest dirty rampant F*ck ever get him to empty the whole sac as deep as he can ram it the put a cushion under your arsse and let that stuff go to work with all your sexy stuff and gravity it gives all them spermies a better chance i gaurentee if theres no medical problems this will work! remember if its not happen its not meant to and its a little piece of magic also follow the callander thing thats about it :)

Answer 6

It is said that about one in every 3 packs of Roses Chocolates contains a special one, wrapped like all the others, which is a 'magic bullet' for conception. Good luck !

Answer 7

ok, get the fertile focus microscope to detect when you are ovulating, it is a very reliable saliva test, then get the preseed lubricant, this lubricant does not kill sperm like other lubricants and saliva do, then have sex with man behind and make sure he ejaculates as deep as he can, after sex, lay down with your legs up for about 20 minutes put your hips slightly up too. Good luck

Answer 8

Go to http://www.mymonthlycycles.com and put in your period info and it will caculate when you will be fertile and ovulating.


It is a free and very helpful website...

An old wives tale i have heard is to sleep with a single pearl underneath your pillow..That said is suppost to help you get pregnant..

Good luck

Answer 9

regular periods is an easier way, 2 wks after the first day of your last period. ladies should stimulate their wombs regularly.every 2 or three days. oh yes and have sex with a man may help.

Answer 10

Conception -???? Oohhh sweet businesssss