Me and my husband know each other for 10years, married for 3 and divorce for 6 months. We have a little girl (2) together. I divorced him after having another relationship. He got full custody of our girl because I was in a "bad place" at that time. I went back to him and we are living togehter for 4 months again. I struggle to warm up to him and wants to spent all my time with my daugter. He is fed up and is putting a lot of pressure on me to be more warm towards him. After I recovered from my drug addiction 4 months ago I am having trouble in this relationship. Somethimes I just feel like leaving and starting my own life. But then i will not see my girl so mush. We are very close. Any advise??
2006-07-11 00:39:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have learned one thing about you addiction is should be that dependency is not a good thing ....You will only drive yourself to a relaspe if you force yourself to be with someone you simply dont love in that way you ex needs to be explained how you feel and try to resolve it by making you living situation one of a roomate set up so that you both can be there for your little girl ,who is by the way very fourtuante to have such loving parents...Good luck your journey is still not over...
2006-07-11 00:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by stargazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO FALL DOWN ON YOUR KNEES and thank Jesus that this man even took you back! He obviously loves you! 4 months off of drugs is NOTHING! Don't get me wrong, it's a good START, but it's still to early for you to be jumping for joy talking about going and "starting my own life". People are being a little to hard on you(sassy old broad for one), they obviously don't realize that drugs are extremely addictive and that some people get addicted without even knowing that it was even a possibility, or a consequence, of trying something "just once". Honey, I can tell that you love your daughter very much. The best thing for you both is to be with your husband. He has been with you for 10yrs, through your drug addictions and all. You are probably finding it hard to get close to him because he took your daughter away, but he only did it because you could not handle her at the time. Instead of resenting him for it, LOVE him for it. Look at him in a different light. Try counseling, talk to a preacher, read the bible, but most importantly GO TO GOD! Your daughter deserves to have BOTH parents together, not having to split one week here and one week there, statistics show that is devastating to children. If you really do love her the way that I think that you do, then try and work it out. Take care, and if you ever need someone to talk to you can email me.
2006-07-11 00:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by candy0813 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and you're not going to like it, babe. When you bring a child into the world, YOU are no longer top priority. Your actions should be to make a better life for your baby. But you know, girl, snorting that coke, or smoking crack is really important, isn't it?? I mean...you can forget you even have a baby or a ex-husband who would even consider taking back a junkie. Why, it's like magic pixie dust and will just make your life perfect while you hook and eat out of garbage cans. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM HERE but that child is! You have a choice...she doesn't. If you don't want to raise your daughter like a grown responsible woman would, do her a huge favor and get out of her life for good. If you don't want that man, there are women out there who will take him and be good to him and your little girl. What is a junkie going to 'start on her own'....give us a break. You will always be a loser until you get some help. Think about someone else for a change instead of focusing on yourself and your drugs and "your life". Trust me, she won't miss a junkie mom. Geeze...what a waste of time.
2006-07-11 00:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With prayer, the Lord can do anything. The following is not legal advice- If your ex-husband is not abusive to you and he just wants more time, try to figure out a way to spend time with both your daughter and him. But if for any reason you decide to leave, if you stay off of drugs for a long enough period of time, you may go back to family court and request a change in visitation or parental responsibility,etc.
2006-07-11 01:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ilovechristjesustheking 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, for the good of your daughter, you need to go. She needs stability, she needs love. She doesn't need shaky ground and manipulation. She is going to learn from your actions. If you stay in your current state, she is going to learn to manipulate.
If I were in your position, I would do everything I could to go back to school, get things in order, and prove to your ex and your daughter that you are trustworthy. Get involved with a 12 step program to get support and build a base of "safe" friends. Go to church. Don't move out of your daughter's life, but don't stay with your ex just so you can be with the daughter. It really sends such a bad message.
I'll tell you about my Mom. She is a recovering drunk/addict. But she beat it. We weren't close when I was a kid because of it. But she has been clean and sober for better than 20 years now, and she is my hero-I want to be just like her. She is strong, smart, etc. That's what you need to be to your daughter now. Not a buddy, but an example of how to learn from mistakes and move on.
I know you love her. Stop and think of what is best for her. (Hint: a strong, smart, healthy mommy is what's best for her.)
2006-07-11 01:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by kelly24592 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have done wrong with ur husband. n so u have to pay for it. but running away from any situation is not the solution. but u have to face it n try to make ur relationship good. ur husband has given u a chance after forgetting ur mistakes but it will take take time to get the position in his eyes as earlier. so don't worry n try ur best to improve ur relationship. i amsure u'll succeed some day. my best wishes are with u.
2006-07-11 00:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by archi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and get custody of your daughter. As long as you are no longer in a "bad" place, then you will have more rights to her. Good luck.
2006-07-11 00:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will never be the same once the trust was broke he'll never be ok with things it's not possible. You can always see the girl!!
2006-07-11 00:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by harley6455 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and you daughter alone, until you grow up and act like an adult.
2006-07-11 00:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Or go for counselling.
2006-07-11 00:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋