I am 21 years old and about to turn 22. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. It will be 4 in december. I am in college and i want to at least be engaged when i graduate or right after getting my bachlors degree and that will be in about 2 yrs. He wants the same thing but he plans to get his masters and/or even his doc. He needs about 3 yrs to graduate with a bachlors and master is an additional 2 yrs. A doc is about 3 yrs. so thats 8 yrs. He tells me that he isnt even thinking about marriage right now. Which is understandable because we are still in school. He alos told me that someone he looks up to told him that if he wants to pursue a doc, not to get married or have kids til afterwards cause they will hold you back. But i am a bit scared cause i am getting at that age where i want to be secure (at least be engaged) and dont want to waste my time on something that isnt going anywhere. Its heartbreaking.
2006-07-10 23:58:11 · 15 answers · asked by Flor*de*lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie, do not rush it. Good things come to those who wait. Marriage is just a piece of paper. I am still currently married ( over 20 years). I was with a person since I was 16..married at 22..he walked out 2001 and abandoned me and his two boys. Ask yourself this..Do I love him? Does he love me? Do we get along? Is a piece of paper gonna change anything aside from my last name?..Old fashion ways use to be to marry. That was so children were not born out of wedlock. Honestly that does not matter anymore. Take your time. You can still enjoy him and things you both like whether you have that paper or not.
2006-07-11 00:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by italliansweety67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sure you feel some disappointment and hearbeak! It looks as if you may both want the same, but you want this much sooner than he does.
Continue to see him, but not exclusively. He is not ready for an engagement, so it would be in your best interest to exploe other options at this time. If it is truly meant to be, it will happen. Maybe not today, tomorrow or even next week.
You have to think about yourself in regards to this situation. At least he is being open and honest with you regarding marriage and starting a family.
2006-07-11 07:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh..This is a tough one. To wait, or not to wait?? Why are you this guy's girlfriend again? Its very obvious that he doesn't want to get serious and you obviously do. Have you talked to him about it? Is this really the guy you want to marry? He does seem a bit uninterested in you and your wants and needs. I agree that you shouldn't waste your time on a guy that is so self absorbed. It is extremely heartbreaking but just think how you'll feel when you're 30 and he doesn't want to be with you like that.
2006-07-11 07:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask to at least be engaged at least you know youll be on your way this man will have a good future for you and maybe he wants to wait guys always worry that they want lots of cash so they can give there family everything i have to agree why struggle i think he will be worth the wait but get a ring on your finger as a promise.your still young i was with my husband 4 years befor we married .
2006-07-11 07:12:23 · answer #4 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him what you just told us. See what happens from there. In order for a relationship to work, you both must be 'on the same page'. If you want marriage and kids and he doesn't...it won't work. Trust me. Been there, done that..got a divorce.
2006-07-11 07:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still very young, and have plenty of time to get married. If he is loyal, and you are secure in your relationship you can be patient and wait. If your not then you need to seek out someone who will be loyal and make you feel secure.
2006-07-11 07:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have it all planned out don't you. Tell him how you feel, but if he doesn't want to , then he doesn't want to. My opinion is that I agree with him, you are far to young. You need to be out there seeking adventures and searching for unicorns, not staying in doors playing happy families.
2006-07-11 07:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by chrisnewcars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree you 100 %. I have a strange unsettling feeling I have been doing exactly the same thing. It seems to be going nowhere.
2006-07-11 07:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by TheSkeptic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can wait for this doctor or find a man who is already a doctor.
Let your future doctor know this little fact and see if he has you
included in his future plans.
2006-07-11 07:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel secure with him or that you're going anywhere, then you should consider moving on. Good luck in whatever you do.
www.love-sessions.com
2006-07-11 07:02:30 · answer #10 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋