My wife divorced me after 10yrs,we have 2 kids, she was always good to me and always did the right thing,about a year ago i came back from being gone on a job for a month and she gave me divorce papers and also had moved someone elese in, I did'nt fight the divorce it was final in 90 days i never thought she would follow through. I just can't belive this is the same person i had married. I can't get over the thought of someone just never looking back like we never existed.I had no signs this was going to happen when i was away working she told me i am so proud of you i love you so much,I just can't understand why.She says she was young when we married and she loves me but is not in love with me. i know i need to be ok with it but i am not. I have'nt even dated yet,well i tried but could not do it. She tells me i am a good guy and i will find someone she tells me happiness is a choice and i should choose to be happy.I feel like my life is over i never expected to be here.How do i be ok
2006-07-10 23:57:41 · 11 answers · asked by harley6455 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know the feeling . Someday someone will make a top ten list of the most painful things one lover can tell another and right on top of it will be;
"I love you but i'm not in love with you"
I honestly don't think that the male brain is wired to understand that.
I think that her giving you that talk show psycho babble crab about " after i just kicked you in the nads, it is your choice wheter or not to feel pain" is exactly that crap. She wants you to accept responsibility for your misery ,while absolving herself of any blame. Nice work if you can get it.
You be OK by not doing dumb things.
You stay alive
hang in there
2006-07-11 01:13:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a bit much. I do however think that the Grandparents would like to spend time with thier grandchildren and since you are the only responsible parent, they are inviting you to family gatherings so they can be a part of the children's lives as well. If you do not feel comfortable, explain to them your feelings but insist that the children come over on a Sunday and visit, when it's not a family gathering so they can know their grandparents and eventually attend other family functions with the grandparents.
2016-03-27 00:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it one day at a time, maybe check into a support group, for people in your own situation. Some people it takes longer than other people. It took me 2 years to get over my ex, but eventually I did. My current husband and I have been together for 12 years now and going strong. Good Luck.
2006-07-11 00:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She pulled the rug out from under you. You never saw it comming. I feel bad for you. Time. It just takes time. Just try to look at one day at a time. Try to meet new people and do things that you never really took the time to do before. You'll meet someone and be happy again. I'm sure you are a great guy. I really wish the best for you.
2006-07-11 01:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With your history, it's understandable why after one year you're still not over it. She was an important part of your life and you were clueless about how she truly felt....you don't get over that quickly. I dated a guy for a year and a half and lived w/him and he pulled the same sort of crap with me. It took me about 3 years to get over him. Give yourself time....keep yourself busy....try not to dwell on her and when the time is right you will feel comfy dating again.
2006-07-11 00:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for what you feel.. some people just like your wife get bored of marriage and of the responsibilties of life. they can't understand that marraige love is different and they fall for the thrill of a new love affair. you must get yourself out there and stop thinking about the past. get yourself a life and be happy... and yes happiness is a choice but it is not being selfish
2006-07-11 00:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, its ok for you to not be ok with it. everyone has their own timetable for adjustments. second, maybe you couldnt see the signs but to leave yer spouse for one year...she had needs and turned to someone else....i'm not saying its your fault...third, if yer a good guy...why did she leave? look yer better off without someone like that...the best thing you can do is when yer ready, go out find some lady and rebuild...God will answer yer prayers..be strong brother
2006-07-11 00:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by bill6866 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so sad, i'm sorry..........you need to ask the Lord to heal your broken heart,,,(he did it for me. when i didnt think it was possible) God is your father, if your child fell done and got hurt wouldnt you want him to run to you for a kiss to make it better?
You are not alone, pray and ask him to help you move forward...
i know this is not what you wanted to hear , but it will work, i guarantee it, its been a year, what have you got to lose? test Him, He can help,,,Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins, and also to heal our hurts and infirmities...cry out to him , you need his help, this is the time you need to get on your knees and ask for His help in your life.........God is Alive, he is able and willing if you ask him, he's a gentleman though , he wont interfere unless you ask him too...call on the Lord , now is the time for comfort for your hurting heart......read the book of Psalms....,www.biblegateway.com, just a few clicks away
2006-07-11 00:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not easy mate and you never forget (10yrs)
but sometimes you just gotta be a bit ruthless yourself and get on with the job.
you have the power to do it.
2006-07-11 00:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it one day at a time. Be thankful she didn't waste any more of your life. Good luck.
2006-07-11 00:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋