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My husband is 32 and we are expecting our 2nd child in 3 months. The only problem is that I can't get him to stop being focused on himself. He would rather buy a nice stereo system for his truck than buy baby items. We are going in serious debt because of his wants. How do I explain to him that our baby can not sleep in a speaker box. Any help would be appreciated!

2006-07-10 23:43:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

19 answers

I hate to say it..but you can't change him. My ex-husband was the same way. When I was pregnant w/our son, he went out and bought a new car!!! Just pulled up in the driveway one afternoon. He said he wasn't even thinking that we couldn't afford another car payment, he just wanted the car. I was furious. We ended up having to ask my parents for the money to buy things for the baby. Sad thing is, he already had 2 boys and should have known what it costs to raise a baby! He's on wife number 3 now and still as selfish as ever. Sorry hun, I don't think your husband is gonna change. Some people are just selfish and just don't get it.

2006-07-11 09:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by Justinsmom 3 · 1 0

Sometimes you have to be the adult and make the adult decisions. He won't change because he has no reason to. Your nagging him isn't working and obviously he can get around it, ignore it or he simply doesn't care.

I think you either prepare to put up with a full life of this or show him you mean business...but you have to actually follow thru and that's the hard part.

I would sit him down and explain how his selfishness hurts you, hurts the children and hurts the marriage. If he chooses...and it is his choice...to continue, you must take the children and leave, and tell him this. His reaction will give you all the answers you should need. Either he loves you and the kids and wants and needs you in his life and works on changing, or you'll find out he simply doesn't care. I would think that this is truly what you'd want and need to know.

It's very hard I know, especially with children, but, you either resolve yourself to a life of hard times and heartache or you don't.

I hope everything works out for you.

2006-07-10 23:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0 0

some guys cannot be told or asked to change they just have to be shown so take a baby doll and wrap it in a blanket and put it in a box and put the box in a seat belt and show him that is what is gonna happen to your new baby if he does not stop getting stuff that is not for baby. and tell him that he will be able to get stuff a little later for himself when the child gets a little older but right now it's about the baby and not him.

2006-07-10 23:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0 0

If being 32, married, one child and one on the way has not caused your husband to shape up, nothing you can do will make it happen.

However, I do suggest you talk with him on neutral ground, when there are no other distractions. Lay out your finances in black and white. Assets and liabilites. If you need help in planning this, talk with someone who can help you understand how to lay it out.

2006-07-10 23:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0 0

This sounds like my fiance use to be. What i did was made a deal with him. You spend 200.00 on foolishness and i get to spend to say amount on whatever i wanted. It took some time but it worked. You see when they see your doing the same thing , they realize the wrong they are doing. Hope it works. Good luck!!

2006-07-10 23:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by sky the limit 1 · 0 0

ok, in my opinion i imagine that is gross ... notwithstanding it would not count what i imagine. you're completely entitled to make your own selections see you later as they're no longer on the fee of your babies, and it type of sounds like they're actually no longer. do not assume anybody to be as delighted inclusive of your piercings as you're, yet ultimately being an man or woman ability following your own course. Do assume those who does no longer have made a similar selections to be really grew to grow to be off (the job interview on the regulation agency ought to no longer flow off too nicely) ... yet in case you are able to cope with that, flow for it.

2016-10-14 08:33:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

He is spending like he was single !

He sounds like he is spoiled,have you been letting him get away with murder?
You may be able to embarrass him into waking up.
Let him think you have asked friends and the church for help.
Have or plan a garage sale,leave a newspaper around with jobs
circled,etc.
Good luck,if you were my wife I would be rubbing your feet.

2006-07-10 23:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0 0

It must have been the same before you married him. He is pretty irresponsible. Need for tight budgetting. Write down all expenses and sit regularly together to discuss financial issues!

2006-07-10 23:51:45 · answer #8 · answered by guy in Yemen 2 · 0 0

How about trying this.........take him along with you and meet your friends who are very responsible with their families.......spend more time with people like that. He will start realizing things when others asks him about his preparation for the second child.......Let your lady friend talk about how wonderful her husband is....that will bring some sense to him.

2006-07-10 23:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ynot78 3 · 0 0

There is no way to change that kind of selfishness. Try some counseling. Good luck.

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2006-07-10 23:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0 0

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