me and my g/f of 7 and a half years broke up 5 mths ago, we have 3 children 2 of which are stepchildren and 1 is my daughter. we both know why it ended and we have both been through all the stages ect... of braking up. i still love her but she says she does not feel that way for me anymore, but when we talk she still has alot of "what if" "i dont knows" in her words. she is still at parents now as am i but now she is talking about getting her own place.
she keeps telling me to move on, and she does not want me to wait around incase she still feels the same in 1 or 2 years. she says there is no one else and she does not ever want to love anyone ever again and does not want another relationship.
now my question is - if there was someone else fine i go and move on. but surely isnt it worth the wait with the kids involved if i still love her?
whats the chances of people who say they dont want relationships changing there mind down the line?
and how long does it take? we get on now ok.
2006-07-10 23:25:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
does she need time or is she just saying this so i meet someone else then she can?
i dont understand.
2006-07-10 23:25:59 · update #1
all you can do is move on otherwise it,ll course no amount of long term damage. its diffcult because of the kids but you must move on good luck
2006-07-10 23:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by martin r 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to move on with your life, and give her plenty of space.
Be glad that you were not married and had to go through an awful separation, divorce, property division, etc. However you will need to file papers to assert your parental rights for shared custody of your 1 daughter, and hopefully your ex will let you still spend some time with her kids - but she is not required to.
Since you are in the clear regarding your property, treat yourself, splurge on something nice right now for you (or for you and your kids) - vacation, new plasma TV, car/motorcycle, etc (but stay within your means).
If your ex ever wants to get back together she will let you know. I would tell her that you are respecting her space, but to let you know if she needs anything - then give her more space than NASA.
Under no circumstances should you call her. And when you do talk do not discuss the relationship unless she brings it up - and then shup-up and listen to what she is saying.
Good Luck
2006-07-11 07:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by Amicus Curiae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably still under the stress of breaking up if you love her mate you should wait and see try o bring back the flame stay good friends and be a good dad also.. She probably got a lot on her plate the kids and even more if this happen to her b4. So just take it one step at the time make her feel secure and help her find her place. Take the kids away for a while so she cna get sorted just to make her feel like you still care then if you jsut do that she be falling back for you after a while but take your time!
2006-07-11 06:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by noellie_winnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there must be a reason why she has decided to end the relationship and according to that u can only evaluate whether u should sjould wait up or move on.. one hint though, my hubby told me once he wanted a divorce and that he is bored and that he didn't love me any more and when i asked if there was someone else, he denied that completley and said he didn't want to love any one again and that he had had enough of relationships and he needed a break. later i found out he had been lying and that he was having an affair and he only left me to be with her, they eventually broke up and he came back to me... i am not saying u have the same case, but be careful... Good luck
2006-07-11 06:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by messy_missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes and it ain't nice The "what ifs" etc is what your picking up and misinterpreting from your ex. When your heart is aching such as it is your world is turned upside down . Any advice you receive is not good enough to repair the damage only time and life will sort you out.
What helped me in the end was to go out and find as many things to occupy your mind as possible I did not listen to the radio for fear of hearing our songs I changed my number on my cell phone and erased her number I limited my contact through friends and relatives and no longer moved in her circle of friends anymore though it wasn't easy for the first few months it was a damn sight easier than it would have been
2006-07-11 09:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mark P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start to make a new life for yourself. She may decide she has made a mistake but she sounds as though she knows her own mind. Just because she no longer wants a relationship with you doesn't mean to say that she has to be involved with someone else. She has been with you for a while now and no doubt feels that she needs time to herself.
2006-07-17 17:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by chelsea19622000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having children and having had a life together it is worth waiting around. Waiting is somewhat passive though? What will you do to get her back? Is it possible that you will get back together do you think? What is it that must be in place for you two to get back together? After all - living your lives seperately and still having a close relationship due to children is possible too?
2006-07-11 06:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by Tones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she likes you hanging on her every whim? she does'nt want you but does'nt want anyone else to have you!
she keeps telling you to move on so do just that and see how she reacts, she probably wont like it, she says she will never have love for anyone else but this is selfish to say this to you as she knows you love her and wont move on, even if you dont want to be with anyone else try to get on with things and see what she does then after a period of time see how you feel and if you both decide to get back together then make a hard decision and go back or dont go back its up to you?
2006-07-11 06:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lyniroquai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't answer this question really cos it all depends on why you broke up. Alot of people become great friends after they split, they get on alot better apart. But don't mistake this as for love.
Move on, if she wants you she will let you know, if not, you need to get on with your life.
2006-07-11 06:57:48 · answer #9 · answered by hoffjob64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF U LOVE HER GIVE HER SPACE YOU HAVE THE KIDS TO HOLD YOU TOGETHER FOR NOW CONCERNTRATE ON THEM SHOWING WILLING TO FATHER YOUR KIDS WILL MAKE HER COME ROUND QUICKER THAN CORNERING HER OVER THE US SUBJECT WORK TOGETHER AGAIN PLANNING UR KIDS HAPPINESS TRUST ME MATE IT WORKS IM THE OTHER SIDE OF WHERE U ARE NOW MALE 44 AND FATHER TO FOUR AND YES IM A PROUD DAD
2006-07-11 12:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by kawasakimilemuncher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋