What is the best way to end a relationship??

Question

I have been with my fiance for 2 years now and have just had enough of his selfish ways. He very rarely makes a decision, rarely comes onto me to make love, sits on his xbox or pc of an evening and hardly talks to me. I feel like his flat mate at times. I have tried to talk to him and he cannot see any prob. He has had some serious family issues with his father and his mother passed away 3 years ago. I understand that life has been hard for him and I have always been there to support him but he is not giving to the relationship. I feel like i'm hitting my head off a brick wall. I really don't want to lose him but cannot get any reaction from him when I tell him how much I am hurting. I am at my wits end. He makes out that everything is good and he doesn't see things from my side. What can I do? I feel I have no choice now but to end it all?? I do love him but feel that he is driving me away

Sometimes he will listen and things do change for a short time - it is almost like he gives so much and then he will take it all back and get lazy and selfish again?!

Answer 1

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment. I think that you already know what you want/need to do and I don't think anyone else can truely advise you what to do in this situation. The only advice I can give is don't end this relationship just to get a reaction out of your fiance or in the hope that he will realise how much he loves you and change the way he has been acting, thats a dangerous move. I hope you manage to fix this :o)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It sounds to me as if he is depressed, but that is no help to you.
You have tried to talk to him to no avail. I had a husband like that he would be ok and improve for a little while and then slip back into his old ways and , like you, I felt I was hitting my head against a brick wall. The best solution is to put a time limit on the relationship. You can do this two ways - either give him say 3 months( or however long/short you want to) to get his act together or your leaving, or give yourself 3 months in your mind and if things havn't improved then just leave. You deserve to be treated better and deserve happiness. I got out of my marriage and I am now happily married again to someone who respects me, yours doesn't. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 4

Hi I 100% AGREE with what Pete has referred to the reply to ur question,becuz that is the truth.
one of my female friends she had been in the same situation as U r now, my gf and Ur Patience in this circumstance is so much similiar to what happened to her.
First of all he is not serious of the relationship thats the very factual indication and secondly he is a player in control.U maybe going point blank mentally many atimes to to make up ur mind thinking that everything will be alrite one fine day,am i rite?
Guess ?what would happen one fine day he would dump U and give U no reason and breakup.?
It would leave U depressed and Hurt.
At this present moment of time ur so involved with him that ur mind doesn't want him but ur heart does.
Talk to him and resolve ur both issues.
U have got a choice to stick to him and suffer the way he seems to be doing on u by playing games and not showing seriousness OR Be A strong Person and dump him ASAP and look out for a person who is more serious and commited in life with U.
All the Best!!

Answer 5

I really don't think he will change dear. He is doing nothing to make you happy and he sounds quite selfish. This is the advantage of having a trial marriage, it is not such a mess to part if it does not work out. You do love him now, but you will realise when you meet someone who really loves you that you did not know what love was before. So just be true full with him, for both your sakes in the long run and move on. May be you could still be friends.
Good luck to you, you sound like you deserve it. x

Answer 6

Well tell him that if he doesn't change his ways and spend more time with u then you are leaving, but be prepared to be strong and follow through you threat cos if you don't he will think he has got away with it, then things will soon be back to where they are now, if not worse. With all due respect his family issues shouldn't be too much to do with it, yes he's had a hard time but time for him to start reciprocating your support. I hope everything works out for you whatever you decide.

Answer 7

Deep down I think you have stopped loving him and so if you want the relationship to end then just be honest.If you have discussed this with him before he can't really be that bothered about your relationship otherwise he would have made some sort of effort to spend more time with you.
Relationships are hard to maintain and it needs both of you to make it work,it should never be a one-way street.You could talk to him once more but it sounds as though he just can't be bothered.

Answer 8

My grandmother would say, "oh baby, he jus bein a man". But I have learned that what ever you allow in a relationship, will continue. However you allow someone to treat you, they will always treat you that way. And then will blame you, because you didn't take up for yourself. Nip that s*** in the bud. If you are willing to let him go anyways. Tell him the truth. Let him know that you can't deal with a man who is going to half *** love you. No hard feelings, but you are responsible for your own heart. If you can't love yourself, definately no man is going to. If he loves you (and your not asking for too much) he will change. If not. throw up the peace signs and send him sailing. Life is way to short. Please don't allow a man to dictate how you should be loved. Your worth it. By the way, it is obvious that he has some growing to do. This is a relationship, not Kinder Care(daycare).

Answer 9

he will have a good time with in case you do not use any prolonged emotional speeches or raise any raw themes,or use excuses purely be straightforward short and compassionate, do not use cliches purely sit him down privately and clarify you imagine there is themes contained in the courting that cant be worked out and probably we ought to both be happier going our separate procedures im going away for a three hundred and sixty 5 days and imagine it must be too complicated to attempt to make this artwork lengthy distance even as issues are so complicated now im sorry,i imagine its perfect if we purely bypass on do not say you want him/you'll continually love him (care about him) i love somebody else/you do not love me do exactly not provide pretend desire or disenchanted him anymore, the earlier you do it the added perfect reduce off contact its perfect contained in the destiny strong success,

Answer 10

The problem here is that your boyfriend for whatever reason has decided to escape reality, he does this by ignoring you and becoming a player in a virtual world, where he can do anything and be as strong and as powerful as he wants. Somewhere where he has control of everything.

Sadly it takes a lot of counseling to fix someone like this, if he is reluctant to go and doesn't want to face reality there is nothing to do but leave and find someone who will be there for you.