We are fighting to retain custody of my stepchildren and can't afford the attorney, what do we do?

Question

We have custody of all our children, the mother, who walked out on my husband and her 3 kids, now wants custody of the children. She filed for a custody change a year ago and has postponed it several times. The guardian ad litum says that they should live with her because that is what they want. The children are 13 and 8. There is no abuse or any reason to change custody, just the children's wishes. The guardian ad litum has never even investigated why they want to live with her or allegations that we have about her care of them. She has lied to them and gotten the children to lie about us as well. If we can't afford the attorney anymore can he stop representing us or does he have an obilgation to continue with our case? We owe one attorney $1000 and our attorney $5000. What are our rights? What if we fire him and hire another attorney?

Answer 1

If you can't afford an attorney, you can't afford an attorney! Don't go into debt any more than you have.

If the children want to be with their mother; regardless of how it happened, you won't have much recourse that won't end up causing the children and you a lot of grief. Let them go and they may return wagging their tails behind them.

Answer 2

You mention a 13 and an 8 year old, what is the age of the other, does that one want to move too? Has she paid child support all these years? Who is paying for her attorney? I think that you should go to a legal aid office in your city, if they do not have one then go to the closes university with a law school, a lot of times they have people getting ready to graduate that will work a case with an attorney supervising, for minimal if any charge. I would petition the court on the child support, if she has not been paying thus far, and tell her you will sue for the full amount if she does not stop.
One other suggestion, this is kindof biblical, let them go to her. I promise you they will be back...Suggest to the ad litum for a temporary, trial run, at them living with her, that may work in your favor because she may realize she still doesn't want to be a mother, and they may realize that she isn't all that they thought. Furthermore, if you keep them away from her it will build up hostilities in them toward you because in a childs eyes a mother can do no wrong. I would say let them go, and hope they come back., unless it is unsafe for them.

Answer 3

Give up,

The attorney does not have an obigation to work for free and deservers to be paid for his/her services, I new attorney will not help the situation. Granted if mom is a looser she will get one for free and can fight you out until you are broke and havve to give up.

Yes the leagal system is completly biased against middle class people. That's just the way it is.

Granted the system is designed in the best interest of children,
But the reality is that it the system will act in the best interest of the natural mother.

You can contact some men's organizations and see if you can learn how to state your own case. That is the current advice at this time (since you're going to loose anyway you might as well not loose a lot of money).

After a year I had one of these type mother's come back after her kids. I was already out 20K and the next battle was 30K (she was worthless and I was going to get the pleasure of paying for both attornies).

So I finnaly gave up, she got the kids, I got the bills and child support payments. (and yes I never got a child support check in that year). Ond daughter moved in 10-years later and finished college, the other is a lieing slut just like her mother 2 kids with two dads both paid for by your taxes and less then 21-years old.

I feel sorry for my kids they got the wrong end of the stick so she could get some respectability, (it certianly wasn't the money even though she was broke. But I can't change the law or who there mother is. Hopefully they by suffing the consequences of suffing through this bullshit will change it someday.

Now,

Since then I've gone from 30-K to 170K a year in income. I have a new loyal wife with morals. We have two children both getting straight As and loving life. Yes the big hous Two SUV's low debt, pool and boat.

Thats why my tag name is madeit

Good Luck God have mercy on thoes children for what thier mother and our court system is about to do to them. I wish god could grant you peace in your heart for having to watch. Such is life though, it comes with many challanges.

Answer 4

And so you fire him and get another attorney and you'll owe that one money. If the state allows children of their ages to choose who they want to live with then that's they way it is. You can file for joint custody, but again that will cost money. The gardian ad litum doesn't have to investigate why the children want to live with their mother unless she has given the court a reason to. Obviously she hasn't.

Answer 5

First of all the children are not old enough to decide who has the custody. It will change based on the mood or conflict of getting their way. You should all sit down with a mediator and keep the lawyers out of it, they benefit very few besides themselves. The children should be your first concern and you should be able to work something out that is mutually beneficial to EVERYONE. The continued fighting, ill will and lack of cooperation with each other only creates confusion, mistrust and fear with the children. They love both of their parents and pitting them against one or the other is a bad bad idea. Suck it up, grow up and show them that even though mom & dad can't work it out they still have the best interest of the kids at heart. Get together agree, put it in writing and have a judge give it his blessing. Communicate honestly and openly and with the best interest of the children first. You will all be glad that you did in the future, I promise!

Answer 6

I don't know about the financial end of this because that is going to be your problem and the attorney's decision to either help or walk away. However, the courts seem to favor the mother no matter how sleazy she is. No matter the circumstances, I suppose it benefits the whole "tear the family down" thing our government seems to be promoting, to force the children out of the fathers life and drag the father into the court system. Maybe it's just another way for the government to steal money from the working man? Who knows?

I wish you well. I know of many a slimeball woman who has pulled this sort of crap and gotten away with it. I feel for you.

Answer 7

You may seek Legal Aid, as its free if you cant afford it, but, beware, they may not be the "best" to represent you, as they are usually not interested in cases "pro bono" that often and are burdened by a large overload of cases.

They will advise you on your legal matters, and what you can do, but, I would seriously think about getting something done about paying for the services that you have been rendered...

I know divorce is ugly and a lot of ex's are a pain, because they will ruin your lives by filing one thing after another and you have to get a lawyer every time, runing you financially...

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 8

you sound like a caring parent-way to go! i don't know where you are from. generally, you can't fire an attorney and get a new one without paying the first one. generally, the 13 year old would have the right to choose his environment and generally, the eight year old would stay with the older one. you might check with your social services-they should have a list of free legal help. i wish you well.

Answer 9

You go to http://www.google.com and you put in the following 'Free legal aid Tacoma WA' in the search area, substitute your city and state for Tacoma WA. You will get a listing of lawyers and legal organizations that will offer free legal work for you, you might have to do some basic typing or filing of forms or briefs etc. to assist, but the lawyer is free and he will represent you in court. Good luck

Answer 10

I tell you what. You should let those children go to their mothers. It won't cost you any money especially if she owes back child support. They think their lives will be better but it won't and then they will be begging to come back home.