I'm just a shy person. How do you break out of this shell?

Answer 1

Effective treatments for shyness exist. Existing treatments generally include exposure to feared situations, usually simulated in treatment sessions or in-vivo, but sometimes to visualized feared situations in imaginal desensitization. They include some kind of anxiety management and/or coping skills training, such as coping self-statements. Recent research has shown, however, that the use of positive coping statements, while they reduce social anxiety, may also interfere with attending to the social task at hand, suggesting that challenging and reducing negative thoughts may be more effective. Flooding treatment -- exposure to the feared stimulus (imaginal and/or in vivo) until extinction (lowered anxiety or SUDS levels) occurs -- has also proven effective with significant reductions in SUDS and pulse rate reported over the course of treatment. According to some studies of flooding techniques, between session extinction as well as within session extinction is necessary, but other researchers report that within-session extinction is sufficient.
Our comprehensive treatment includes exposure and behavioral practice in feared situations, social skills training, cognitive restructuring for negative thoughts about self and others, communication exercises both for getting acquainted and deepening relationships, and assertiveness training for situations where shy individuals make requests of others or say no to unreasonable requests. Additional techniques that have been reported to be effective are the following: paradoxical intention, where clients deliberately intensify feared internal or external responses like blushing, and discover more control than they imagined; the use of affirmations, short positive statements about the self that are written up to 20 to 30 times daily; and relaxation training, including progressive relaxation by each major muscle group and/or controlled breathing.

Treatments for shyness and social phobia are similar, but more systematic treatment outcome research has been conducted and published in the area of social phobia. Analyses of cognitive-behavioral and pharmacological treatments of social phobia have reported effective treatments for social phobia, which are superior to placebo controlled conditions, with exposure-based techniques that combine anxiety management strategies showing the highest effect sizes. MAOI's demonstrate the largest effect sizes in studies of pharmacological treatments, but SSRI's such as Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil are being used with some success. There is controversy over the use of stimulants such as Ritalin in the treatment of social phobia, with early clinical reports suggesting that they are efficacious in some cases. Controlled studies are needed to assess the effects of these agents. There are no significant short-term differences between pharmacological and cognitive behavioral treatment (CBT) approaches; attrition rates are similar (between 14% and 18%), but investigators in a study that combined approaches found that subjects who received CBT plus Buspirone did worse than those who received either treatment alone. Studies with phenelzine and cognitive behavioral group therapy (CBGT) showed that phenalzine had a faster onset (6 weeks in comparison to 9 weeks), but one-half of phenelzine responders relapsed during the follow-up period, while responders to cognitive behavioral group therapy maintained gains or continued to improve. A substantial number of generalized social phobics fail to respond to either, and combined treatments are being investigated. A methodological difficulty is that studies vary widely in diagnostic criteria for inclusion, particularly in terms of the inclusion of subjects who meet criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder. Another caution is recognizing the degree to which shyness or social phobia is a consequence of inadequate social skills, which are not improved by merely taking medication, such as Prozac, which has been given media prominence as a shyness cure-all, a magic pill.

Answer 2

Join the club. It's not that hard, actually, just a little intimidating at first but it gets easier as you go on. I talk about this as if I've finished the process but actually I've only just started it myself.

You basically have to make a point of doing things socially that make you uncomfortable, such as walking up to random strangers and trying to make a conversation. Or try to get an opportunity to speak publicly to a group of people if you can. That way, it's a good opener and people will come up and talk to you afterwards. It goes a long way toward breaking the proverbial shell.

Also, learn some quick, funny jokes. You can't lose with a good joke. Good luck dude....

Answer 3

I used to be an extremely shy guy. In high school I would just never talk to girls--at least not in THAT sort of way, like asking for a date or whatever. Even in college I thought I would never get a girlfriend because I didn't know how to talk to girls.

Now I'm just happy that I have some time to myself after all the excitement I've had the last few years. Please refer to my answer to the question, "Have u ever had sex?" and you'll see what I mean. I've had plenty of girlfriends once I got "over the hump" (no pun intended!), and I even got drained emotionally by a couple of them. But at least they showed me not to be shy anymore. Don't worry, dude, you'll break out of your shyness. All you have to do is find someone you're comfortable talking with, and you'll get used to opening up "your shell" as you put it. I can tell you from experience, it's just in your mind. I thought I would never be able to hold a conversation with a girl. (For me, the shyness was around girls--especially if I was attracted sexually to them.) I can't pinpoint what finally happened; I think I just told myself, "What's the worst she can say? No, right? Is that going to kill me? No." (Well, rilly the worst thing that can happen is I'll sneeze as I'm talking to her and a big snot will come out of my nose and get smeared all over my shirt, and I'll die of embarrassment--but that's highly improbable.) So I started opening up slowly to girls.
You can do the same with your own shyness. The worst thing a person can do when you try to talk to them is say they don't want to talk to you, right? So you just go to the next one...(just don't sneeze on yourself!). =)

Answer 4

You have to make a conscious decision to not let your shyness stop you from anything you really want to do. Force yourself to approach people you want to interact with. It's VERY uncomfortable at first but the more you refuse to allow your lack of self-confidence get in your way the more confident you become, I promise.

I used to be so shy that I'd run hide in my bedroom when people came to my house to visit. If I had to get involved in a social situation I was a quiet, little wallflower. Only when I did what I am suggesting to you did I become confident and begin to live my life more fully. It was worth the effort.

Answer 5

You got to crawl before you walk.
You got to walk before you run.
(You need to take things by steps.)

Sometimes, people have a hard time "communicating" and "Talking" is not their strong point. To improve this, you can take debate classes, theater classes, or the like. If you are out of school already, you can join a club or organization like Toastmasters International.

If you are just having problems with interaction, you can volunteer for projects that involve a group of people. This way you will already have something in common (the project itself).

You can also practice personal games and challenges by keeping score of how many people respond to you when you say "Hi" or "Hello" or "What's up? (wuzzup?!?)".

You will have to make the effort to change, but take it a step at a time. Eventually, with practice, you will become better at it. And the more people you interact with, the less shy and more confident you will become.

Hope This Helps.

Answer 6

It took me years to overcome my shyness...I'm still shy to this day but not like I use to be. I'm only shy when I have to do public speaking or have to walk in front of a large crowd of people.

Answer 7

I wonder how old you are.

If you use drink to overcome shyness you will become dependant on it which will lead to abuse.

If you are in school join some extra curriculum activity like sports, drawing, acting, music etc you must enjoy or wish you could participate in something. You will have something common to discuss with other members of this clubs. And soon you will forget about how shy you feel. I used to be shy and believe me you wouldnt tell now.

Answer 8

Hello Friend,
You can Improve your personality. i use this options and
they helped me to breake my Shyness's Shell :

(before that if you see this english text is have some problems in verbs and other, please bless me because i'm not enlish ;-) )

goto friends Groups, Talk with them and try to enter to their
conversations. its very hard at first , you can imagine it like a chiken in the egg. at first chiken start to move and make some
Hooks to the egg's shell and small area of egg brakes and it try to pressure the egg's shell to remove it and come outside.
when you try it many times you see your self in different position from past and you feel proud and happiness in yourself.

Try it Friend and BE HAPPY ;-)

Answer 9

hang out with 1 or 2 friends. i'm sure you would be able to break out of the shell with 1 or 2 friends. so slowly make yourself comfortable with your other friends.

Answer 10

Get a group...one or two people, and start doing things.. small things at first working up to parties and social stuff. Now, if you are shy around girls well, then... join the club, we have jackets. They tend to mix us up a bit.

Answer 11

Try starting with one-on-one conversations. Send me a message. I can help as i used to be really shy