My husband and I are still married, I have asked him for a divorce but he does not want it even though he is living with another woman. I can't pay for it being I have 2 kids by him. Now he is calling me because he wants to be playmates and still lives with her. I agreed we could be playmates only to show her how he is as person. He uses people for what he can get out of them then he is done with them, I want to turn the game around on him and show him how it feels to be treated like dirt...Am I doing the correct thing by setting him up?
2006-07-10 19:36:37 · 7 answers · asked by Christina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No you aren't doing the right thing. If you still have any feeling left for him, you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak again. Been there done that. It hurts. I have 3 kids and just filed for divorce. Go to a lawyer and tell him you can't afford it. If he/she is a good lawyer, they will either work out payments or try to get half from him. Don't put yourself through that, you will just lose more self esteem. He just wants to keep you there just in case it doesn't work out with the one he is with now. What happens if you do get him back? You will just worry that he will do it again to you. Think of your kids, is this a the way you want to raise them? I don't know about you but for me, I would rather raise my kids in a happy divorced home than a miserable married one. Move on, find yourself again, for your sake and your kids. You will find a way to pay for the lawyer, just believe and don't worry about the money. And think about the way you felt when you found out about her, do you really want to be the other woman and put her through that same pain? Don't stoop to his level and play his game, and don't stoop to her level by becoming the other woman. You will get hurt, and it will probably get messy.
2006-07-10 19:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by aliveagain 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course he doesn't want a divorce! It's better the way he has it.... you and the kids when he wants you and someone to screw around with on the side! He's having his cake and eating it too!!
There are attorneys that will take on your case based on income, assuming you have some type of income. If you can't afford an attorney, you can get help from the state. The state will also make him pay you child support and possibly alimony.
The fact that he is living with another woman makes him look bad in any court's eyes and you should immediately ask for custody of the children! You can even ask that he pay your attorney fees, and given the situation, he will most likely have to pay.
Why would you want to be his playmate??? How can you be with him sexually, knowing his "thing" has been in someone else! That's nasty!!
There are so many options for you and your children. Don't put yourself into the situation he is wanting! Suppose the bimbo he is with has given him some sort of disease!??! You've got two kids to think about!!!
Go ASAP to your local State Aid Center (DHS, Welfare, or whatever it's called in your area). You can get more help than you think!! These people are on YOUR side!
Good luck to you and your children! You are strong and you can survive!!
2006-07-10 19:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a tool of the fool school.
If you are serious, and this is a real situation, begin legal action. Seek out a local group who can help you with advice, support, and funding if need be.
Get a restraining order (this will help in future legal action). Begin divorce action. Sue for custody of your children. Make sure to get child support and alimony.
Get on with your life.
"Playmates"? I repeat; tool of the fool school. Sounds like he is not the only one who chooses to use others.
2006-07-10 19:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jim T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It don't matter if you have kids,you want the divorce you'll get the divorce. Something else to think about what or how is that going to effect your children? Alls he wants is to have the O.K. to cheat , as they say he wants his cake and to eat it too. You need to move on. An why should you prove anything to the other woman?
2006-07-10 19:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by barbara r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can get a free divorce through...www.legalaid.com
if he wants it or not..
i would not put up with him coming only to have a playmate..
you need to get on with your life and tell him to leave you alone..
now for the children stake..tell him you will bring them to him on his days to have them...Your kids are the main people that needs to know that mommy and daddy is not going to be together and you two being playmates are messing with their heads..Don`t!!
If he is with the other lady..How does that makes you feel..by being his 2nd woman...that would make me feel like i was his left over or something like that..
Hon..wake up..you don`t need him..you only need yourself and your kids and tell him to leave you alone and you will file for the divorce if he likes it or not...also,when you file you can charge it to him..and the judge will make him pay...or you can try www.legalaid.com...
my sister got her divorce through them...
I wish you the very best ...
2006-07-10 19:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by tshee70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are places u can go to get help with a divorce and it won't cost u a thing,but u need to stop with the game yer playing though because he is getting what he wants, just divorce his *** and nail him for all the child support and alimony u can get,that will hurt him more then anything.good luck.
2006-07-10 19:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by hshellraiser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get a divorce even if he doesn't want it. Also, before this happens, buy yourself a lot of stuff. Sell his stuff, etc.
2006-07-10 19:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋