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I am a newly-wed, and everything should be going great... but I am depressed. He said today everythingthing is going perfect. How do I tell him I don't feel the same way?

2006-07-10 19:10:32 · 19 answers · asked by Athena 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

19 answers

I understand where you are coming from. I suffer from Bipolar - Type 2 disorder (not as scary as type 1). I have suffered and still do to this day (the right combo of meds take a while). I was only diagnosed a year and a half ago. I am almost a middle-age adult.
You need to let him know. And, of course, get help. There might be one day that is better than another. Perhaps, he may already suspect, and not communicated that to you. Remember, it is not your fault that you are depressed. I have a special kind of depression - you probably have a more "normal" kind that will respond well with meds and therapy. I know it is a bummer to worry about this as a newlywed. But, you will both be fine. Remember "for richer, for poorer, etc.". I have been married for about 15 years. My husband has been great. It is hard on him and my two kids. However, our love has continued to grow and I believe I am still a good wife and parent. I have also used some behavior things and read many books to help me. Don't give up!

2006-07-10 19:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Marriage is often a very stressful life event that requires a period of adjustment. First, try to pinpoint the underlying reason for your depression. Make a list of symtpoms/thoughts/feelings that you are experiencing and think about sharing these with your spouse. This method might be a little less threatening, because your thoughts will already be expressed on paper and you won't have to think of answers on-the-spot. Remember, don't let your feelings go unheard. It's important for your husband to know how you're feeling so that he can walk alongside you through this difficult time. Through thick and thin...for better or for worse, right? Good luck.
p.s. try speaking with a professional about your depressive symptoms, they can provide great insight.

2006-07-10 19:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by supernova 1 · 0 0

Try to find out why you are depressed .Did you move away from family , were you / are you unsure about the marriage ? Might be the thought of forever is scaring you ? Miss being single ? At least for a little thought first I'd wait .If your sure it's something that won't pass , then explain carefully. As he seems to be so happy and he must love you .He also loves you enuogh to hear you out .But listen to the reasons you come up with .What not perfect ?

2006-07-10 19:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by Fairy Tale 4 · 0 0

You should figure out what is is that is depressing you. So you feel getting married was a mistake? Do you not like something about him? Do you think you could have done better? Do you not like your current living conditions? Do you not want a child or do you want one? What is it that is depressing you. Depression is a serious ailment, you should see your doctor, he might prescribe a medication or he could send you to counseling, after that if you figure out something like marriage is not what you wanted, just tell him and get out of it, better that then he live a lie thinking you are all happy and all and you live in misery

2006-07-10 19:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by Pete 5 · 0 0

Oh gosh being a newley-wed makes it even harder. Stop and think of what actually has you depressed. Prepare a sweet way to tell him without completly hurting feelings but you must talk to him about it because it's only gonna get worse and possibly cause a quick divorce. Wish you the best......

2006-07-10 19:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by tejasred2003 2 · 0 0

it should be that the stressors of the marriage and the recent expectations as spouse have taken their toll on you emotionally Now that the hight of issues are over and also you're waiting to relax you should experience purely the alternative. nevertheless completely beaten and drained from the interest. If in a week you nevertheless experience an similar way i'd search for suggestion from out of your health care specialist. you need to be having stress or melancholy, or truly both, yet only they're going to be in a position to allow you to understand which. In all liklihood they could propose counselling or some procedures to wrestle rigidity on your existence, so that you'll deal with better till you're waiting to go back to accurate actual health. purely bear in mind melancholy doesnt propose a existence-lengthy conflict. a lot of human beings experiencing bouts of melancholy in thier existence-time can recuperate see you later as they get the right help once they could.

2016-12-01 01:12:18 · answer #6 · answered by jerklin 3 · 0 0

If you're just married someone, and you don't know how to tell him what you're feeling, what business did you have getting married in the first place? I don't mean to be cruel, but ALL successful relationships are based on communication. If you don't feel like you can sit him down and tell him EXACTLY what you're feeling all the time, you need to rethink whether or not you're ready for marriage.

2006-07-10 19:15:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You just have to sit him down and tell him. If you know what it is you are depressed about that helps. But dont let him think things are good if they arent. He should understand and help you to recover, sometimes just talking more helps by its self.... but bottom line, you just have to come out and say it. Cant really give you a good example of how to say it because I would have to know you, your husband and the situation... but you know him best. Just think about how you think it would be easiest for him to handle it.

2006-07-10 19:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by vix 2 · 0 0

Couples should always express their true feelings, but not in an insulting or condescending manner. Communication is one of the most important tools in a successful relationship. You're supposed to be best friends and be able to discuss anything.

2006-07-10 19:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Velociraptor 5 · 0 0

Thats a hard one as your a newly wed..be honest with him and tell him you need some encouragement, tell him what your finding difficult

2006-07-10 19:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by sweete_017 3 · 0 0

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