do you think my book is good?
just havent published it yet
ill read a little
"Sorry we're out of rooms right now, I'll make it comfier tomorrow"
"Thank you,Rat" She smiled and closed the door.I shuddered and sat down on the hard matress. The candle on the dresser flickered and died. I moved my way to the door. It was locked. I began to sweat and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I heard the tapping of approaching dress shoes. The air began to feel icey.
"who's there?" I spun around squinting into the darkness.
"Boy...Come to me"
Long icey fingers gripped my shoulders and sat me down on the matress. A match flammed and illuminated the face.
That was just a little bit from it
Books called Tarchbane and it's adventure/fantasy
2006-07-10 18:31:36 · 8 answers · asked by Wild Mangie 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
sry about the spelling I didn't really pay attention to what I was typeing
2006-07-12 08:02:59 · update #1
Quite good, I enjoyed it! :D I like the way you built up the suspense - you should have fine success! Good luck!
2006-07-10 18:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Quynh N 2 · 6⤊ 2⤋
It's good. It's not my kind of literature, but the suspense is great. I would consider working on your spelling; if you were to send this out to a publisher right now, they probably wouldn't pay much attention to it because of the spelling mistakes. But it's really no big deal.
One thing I would work on is getting your sentences to flow a bit better. It seems choppy because of all the "I did this. Then I did that. Then I did another thing" and so on. Perhaps you're doing it for effect, in which case you don't have to change it if you don't want to. But if not, try and lengthen the sentences and string a few together.
ex. "I shuddered and sat down on the hard mattress when suddenly the candle on the dresser flickered and died. I moved towards the door, only to find it locked. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I began to sweat as soon as I heard the tapping of approaching dress shoes. The air turned icy."
It flows a bit better and works up more of the suspense, and I didn't change anything really. Something to think about.
If you want any other help, you can email me -- my email is in my profile.
Good luck!
Linz
2006-07-11 02:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the imagery. When you edit, make sure your descriptions are logical.
"I heard the tapping of approaching dress shoes." Is a bit too specific. I mean what do dress shoes sound like, as opposed to just shoes? Maybe hard sole shoes.
(I'd just say, shoes, but that's just a style preference. Sometimes less is more.)
Here's a tip.
When you're writing the first draft just write everything and don't stop. Don't check your spelling don't worry about grammar, or punctuation, just write, get all your ideas on the page.
Then go back and check for one thing at a time.
Check your Spelling,
then go back and just check
Grammar,
then go back and just check
Pacing,
then go back and just check
Logic,
then go back and just check
Repetition, and so on.
It's tedious but that's all part and parcel of what writing is all about.
You've got some skills, just keep at it and you'll be a good writer in the end.
2006-07-11 04:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by Dahs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spelling does not matter don't lissin to any of them. There F*ck Heads. Its no my kinda book but its better then some of the stuff I had to read.
2006-07-11 01:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Gumby G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weird, like creepy weird.
The sentences don't flow as well as they could, but very intriguing...
2006-07-11 10:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by she who is awesome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to spell, kid.
2006-07-11 01:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good attempt.
2006-07-12 04:58:02 · answer #7 · answered by ramesh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup, your gay.
2006-07-11 01:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋