i'm 25yrs old and married for 5yrs to a military member(we have a 4 yr old and a 7mth old, both girls). he supports our family while i go to college. we spend a lot of time apart and its been hard on our marriage. he'll be stationed in japan for the next 3 years while i go back to the states to finish school.
there is a history of lying/infedelity on both parts, and though i try my hardest to be faithful now, i doubt if he will change any time soon. we spent this last year in different countries and at first i figured what i didn't know wouldn't hurt me until about a month after i gave birth he told me he may have given me hep-b during my pregnancy. the baby and i both tested negative. i thought this scare would stop him from cheating, it didn't.
love/religion/kids/financial support all have me questioning divorce. what should i do?
2006-07-10 18:05:23 · 10 answers · asked by jadeblade 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You seem to be an intellectual person. I know how hard it is to walk out on a marriage. You fill like you failed and you are worried about your babies. It is harder on children to be in an unhappy household because when your happy there happy and when your sad there sad. Life is to short to spend unhappy. If he loved you there would be no way he would ever cheat on you and the same for you. Sometimes its better to walk away before you hate someone than it is to wait and let tensions build to the point to where you no longer can be social to that person. It is better to end as friends. You are both heading in a different direction and if you keep on the only ones to pay the penalty will be your children. You need to have a serious talk with your husband about what is most important in your lives. As far as being a failure, you only fail if what you and your husband decide to do makes you and your children miserable.
2006-07-10 18:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by gina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a ripe time for an open marriage. Don't ask don't tell may be the right idea while you are apart. If there is anything left after you are done with school then restart things. If not then divorce. His income and ability to help now and then will not cost you much but you should insist that he practice safe sex to stop worrying about diseases. Do not have unprotected sex with him because men and women both lie to fit the occasion. What do yo gain by divorce if the two of you are apart anyhow. Nothing. Use your head.
2006-07-11 01:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your shoes the Military is so hard on a young couple although you may still love him, He'll never change. If it is in is Heart and soul to keep tearing you soul apart you do not deserve to be put through this pain for your sake and the Girls you must let him go to find your peace of heart and mind not all men are bad you were just unlucky with him. I hope you find a better man down the road of life.
2006-07-11 01:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by william R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always someone else to love a good woman,the older the kids get the harder it will be on them,and there is always financial help for woman who are looking to better there selfs,organizations,group supports,But please do not stay with this cheater he's already did it once he'll do it again and he might bring something back that won't wash off to you.You have to take care of your children now,that's the first thing and then begin from there.
2006-07-11 01:52:16 · answer #4 · answered by very concerned55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat always a cheat and i can't stand it either but honey like they told me if the wander off let him and hit him for child support just don't get remarried cause the government will keep paying for you untill you do re marry
2006-07-11 01:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him. Life is too short to worry about this crap, your missing out on nice vehicles, nice new family homes in nice neighboorhoods, dinners at family restaurants, you know the suburban family life.
Find a man with a nice job, nice personality and start building some equity!
2006-07-11 01:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by GTZEVRYTHNG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and share the kids trust me im a kid and two parents that fight is the worst house to lI've in ive begged my parents to get a divorce sense i was 7 dont make your children grow up in world war 3
2006-07-11 01:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN don't walk away from this train wreck. The kids will hurt and be hurt much more later. RUN.
2006-07-11 01:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by homerunhitter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave and never go back to him. He isn't worth the problems and headaches.
2006-07-11 01:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him you dont need this crap from him in time he will get something and give it to you you desereve better than that in my opion ?
2006-07-11 01:40:08 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋