My parents just got divorced, and now my dad is thinking about marrying the REASON for that divorce, if you get my drift. It gets worse, she's a package deal, complete with two small kids. She is always buying me things and trying to win me over, and my dad says she loves me, but to say I hated her with all my soul would be the worlds biggest understatement. I love my dad, and I want him to be happy, but I'd like nothing better than for them to have a huge fight and break up, and it hurts my mom that he's still with the woman he was with before the divorce. Any ideas on what to do or how to get rid of the skank?
2006-07-10 17:57:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
too late not to hate her
2006-07-10 18:09:41 · update #1
I live with my mom most of the time
2006-07-10 18:10:15 · update #2
just get her really mad at you then if your dad heres you two fighting he will know that you guys arnt geting along then when your dad leaves you two alone start a fight with her and when your dad comes back say you two got in another fight then tell him she hit you
2006-07-10 18:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by supersizeme_1234 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Almost the same thing happened with my husband's parents except that my husband and his sister are the only kids out of his family that realize about the "skank" in our situation or the other two just choose to ignore it. If it makes your dad happy and there is no way that your parents will get back together then I'd say just try to get along with her. My parents got divorced before I was 3 and my mom is now on her 3rd try. You just have to try to be happy with what you have. Don't rub it in your mom's face or anything but try to get along with your new stepmommy to be. Since a lot of times in divorce situations the parents don't always act like one, you need to be as much of an adult as you can. Be mature and don't take sides unless you know everybodies side of the story and even then you have to be very careful. Good luck, I hope everything works out in the best way for your family.
2006-07-10 18:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but you're not in a position to do much of anything about it.
If you make life miserable for the woman, you'll be making life more miserable for your father. I would think it's very difficult to be around the woman who has made your mother hurt so much and no one should expect you to love her, but your father has every right to expect you not to be disrespectful and unpleasant towards her and her children.
So what do you do? How do you make this situation tolerable for you and maybe even a bit better than that? How can it be a good thing for your mom, too?
What your mom hasn't told you, but which is true is that she's going to need some time to relax from the difficult job of raising you. Your time with your father and his group will give your mom a breather and that will help her to adjust to the new way life is. You may get to see your relatives on your father's side of the family during the visits, too. And of course, you DO want to see your dad, even if right now you are (justifiably, perhaps) angry with him.
My advice? Let go of the things you can't change and make the most of the good things that are in your life. You aren't being disloyal to your mother if you still love your father and your mother most likely wants you to be as happy as possible. If your father expects you to be part of the wedding party for this second marriage, rationally explain your feelings to him. Tell him you want him to be happy, but that the break up of your family has hurt you and you would prefer not to be in the wedding party.
Goodluck to you.
2006-07-10 18:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by LC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm really sorry for you. Pull out the marriage statistics. The odds are against people who want to marry. Besides, what is the point of getting married if he has already been divorced before? When you get married your telling everyone you know and love and god that you will be together for the rest of your lives no matter what. When you get divorced its kind of like saying..."oh yea that whole expensive ceremony and everything was just a lie." Nobody ever wants to go to someone's second wedding. Especially family. Its like hey now we have to buy you more presents for your new family because you didn't like your first one. So are you convinced? Hopefully it will all work out for you. Good luck!
2006-07-10 18:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok for one.... don't listen to the first post. And I've been there. It may seem like that now and it may still seem like it later, but despite how much it hurts your mom, give it a chance. Sit down with the lady and tell her you don't appreciate her trying to buy you over ad you wish she would stop it. I'm not telling you it will all work out I'm telling you give it a chance before you decide you hate her. Spend more time with your mom so your mom doesn't feel like the lady is taking away mroe than just her husband.
2006-07-10 18:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by Cutie_wit_a_booty_08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i offer you my sympathy. my dad married the reason for his and my mom's divorce only to end up divorcing her a few years later, when he cheated on her with another woman. he also married the reason for divorce #2 and is now divorcing her. some guys are just stupid. as much as you love your dad, this is his decision to make. however, you need to let him know that it can and probably will irreversibly damage his relationship with you. put it in the plainest terms possible...."dad, i hate that woman that ruined your marriage to my mom and i don't want her to be a part of my life. you are going to ruin your relationship with me too if you continue to plan on marrying this woman."
I wish you the best and i hope your dad can be more mature than mine was.
2006-07-10 18:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by buhing513 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that as a son/ daughter, no child wants to see his/ her parents separated, but remember their life is theirs and not for you to decide.
The other woman may simply be trying to make things easier for you - remember she too is facing the unknown. Much as you may blame her for your parents break-up, remember maybe the breakup was bound to happen, other woman or not. Maybe She was just a catalyst. Because no relationship can break up if it is STRONG.
So forgive and move on - maybe you will find yourself in the same postion years on. And then, how will you feel?
2006-07-10 18:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by estee06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you give her a chance you might like her. I'm not trying to take sides here, I've been there before and I didn't like him, and it turned out that their relationship failed. So what I'm thinking is that if you have a good relationship with your dad, and you have a bad feeling about this lady, then it's probably not going to work out with your dad and her.
2006-07-10 18:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by MKL100 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your father, tell him how you feel. He has to consider your feelings in the mix. If he is in love with her well, its something thats going to be a challenge. If you live with your dad and you cant stand the skank, try living with your mother instead. Try the alternatives.
2006-07-10 18:02:15 · answer #9 · answered by meshaangel2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey its all up to your dad, there is nothing much you can do about how he feels about this woman you kno? So you cant get rid of her only your father can....its his life. All you can do is show how much you hate her for the rest of your time with your dad or move with ur mom
2006-07-10 18:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Leany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋