i thot it was once awhile.now its being everyday chatting.her ex would said hello to her,talk for 1 hr.she seems happy to talk to him.sharing alot of things.but felt lazy to talk to me.when i told her i want to meet him,she seems defend him saying no need of it.i said i need to talk to her ex to stop chat with her.if need,then meet me and her together.
2006-07-10 17:37:51 · 20 answers · asked by idrisjack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her that it bothers you for her to do this, and you would appreciate it if she would stop. If she refuses to stop, immediately get marriage counselling. Something is wrong when a spouse will continually do something they know disturbs the other very much. If she still refuses to go with you, go ALONE. Worse case scenario, you may need to part ways, but only for a time. Sometimes, when spouses part ways for a short time, it makes the other either go all the way out and leave, or realize how foolish they are and come back to the other and back into making it a lovely home. But one thing is for sure: you HAVE to do something. Doing nothing will definitely cause disaster.
2006-07-10 17:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RED FLAG RED FLAG DING DING DING.. any man or woman that needs to rely on another person of the opposite sex for emotional support isnt good. Then add in that they have been intimate together and thats just trouble waiting to happen.. She's on her way of becoming your future wife she should be acting the part now.. if u meant that much to her she shouldnt be disrespecting you in this way, and its perfectly natural for you to want to meet him.. My husbands best friend is female.. they were friends for years prior to me comming into his life.. but they were never intimate, never even had that inclination to be, she's totally not his type, and he takes me with him everytime she's around and knows that even though they are friends that i come first and that if i wasnt ok with the friendship that she would be history because i am his wife.. but because i saw how they are together, i know she's of no threat, she doesnt over step her bounds with him, and now ive become her friend just as much as he is.. and theres zero secrets between us.. and im an extremely jealous person. so it wasnt easy until proven to me there was nothing to be concerned with.. but in your case there is an intimate history and an emotioal history, she's relying on him for emotional support..and she doesnt want the two of u to meet.. makes u wonder why if they are just friends... if she cant easily see the light, then u need to walk away before she does become your wife, if she cant respect ur feelings now, then how will she ever respect ur feelings after the marriage.. ???
2006-07-10 17:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, two of my best friends are also exes. I am very close to them, but they are just friends. Because of this, I would not have a problem having my new "so" meet them. I find it suspicous that she does not want you to meet her ex bf. Don't go behind her back to "spy" - trust me, this may just make the situation worse. Be open with her and make it clear that you would really like to meet the ex - her reaction may be all you need to understand their relationship Good luck.
2006-07-10 17:47:28 · answer #3 · answered by spiner_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets flip it. If her friend was a female, would she tell you that there is no need to meet her? Do you all have other friends that you choose not to introduce to each other? Is it right for married people to hang out with people that they would not introduce to their spouse?
Did she tell you about her relationship with him or did you find out on your own? Does she talk on the phone with him around you? in front of you? or does she run off to the other room? not answer when you are around? etc?
It is absolutely normal to have friends of the opposite sex, even ex's., right? However, if the dude was on the up and up, don't you think he would want to get to know you? Seriously, wouldn't a real friend want to meet, get to know, hang out with, etc., their friends to be spouse? Have you introduced all of your meaningful friends to your fiance? Isn't it natural to want to show off your love to your friends? How about her? Has she introduced you to her other friends? Does she have friends?
What would be a good reason for a fiance to hide a friend from her future husband? Seriously, worst case scenario...you are a jelous maniac that she fears, why would she put up with it now. She will just get sick of it later and leave you and take half of everything you worked hard for. I know that probably isn't the case. Just think about it...I know you love her, but take off the blinders and think logically and get the answers to these questions!
2006-07-10 18:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jack, you might want to hold off on getting that tuxedo order and caterer. Hard as it is to say, it's time to consider making an EX out of the GF; who evidently has ties to HER EX.
Just tell it to her calmly the relationship has to end; that you can't have ties to someone who still has ties to her ex boyfriend. NEVER LOSE CALM COMPOSURE.....the control you show can come to YOUR ADVANTAGE.
Be prepared to hear her explode, rant and scream: but DO pay attention to what she says.....you might find her lies to confirm your suspicions.
Just tell her it's nothing personal.....just you gotta break off the relationship for good reasons.....and be done with it. I have a feeling you'll be glad you did this as time goes by.
2006-07-10 17:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's something to worry about if she's not willing to let you meet the ex, or maybe she's afraid of you getting jealous anyways. it's something the 2 of u need to discuss, and work out together. trust is a huge thing, and hard to make a marriage work. you need to be sure before getting married to her. i know u love her, but don't let her play games with you either...u deserve to know the truth, and to be able to talk to this guy!
take care!!!
2006-07-10 17:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you r willing to accept her x as being a friend should you go through with the wedding. They will always be friends he was before you and it will be 20x's worst if they have a child in common.
Thoroughly think it through obviously there are some trust issues.
2006-07-10 17:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by rizzell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a fool she screwing him. What you should to is play along. and one time after she gets through talking to him and then she says she needs to go somewhere go follow her but don't let her know. barrow a friends car or even get a rent a car.just get a car you know she's not going to reconize and follow her and i would also take a camra and a small recorder put the voice active recorder in the room you know she talks to them at and let it record. and use the camra to take pics when you follow her . afterwords throw them out at them and tell them to go take walk on a short pier and never come back. Because your getting used and Fu 8k over. don't let them do that to you. let them be the fool not you.
2006-07-10 18:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by patricia h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what... just because they choose to be friends and not hate each other is a good thing. I know many people who still have contact with their old boyfriends/girlfriends and keep it friendly. Personally thats the way to go.
Start getting worries when she calls his name out during sex.
2006-07-10 17:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by ryanisalifestyle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya its sad but if shes still into her ex then stop it it sucks but that could mean shes not the 1 for you but I'm not saying she could stop and never do it again and you could live happily ever after
2006-07-10 17:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by bleachedspirit8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋