I've been married for over 8 years and my spouse and I seem to no longer have anything in common. I want to move out of state. He doesn't. I would love to adopt. He won't. I would like to own my own business...(and he discourages me every chance he gets.) In fact, he knew since the day he met me that I wanted to start my own business one day. What makes it so bad is that there is never any compromise on the big things? It is his way or no way. I feel so stiffled in my marriage. I want to move on , but I it all seems so overwhelming. How does go about the process of moving on?
Where I live, we would need to be separated for at least a year before I file for divorce if the reason is irreconcilable differences. I knew it depends on the person and the circumstance, but how painful is the whole separation/divorce process?
2006-07-10 17:26:34 · 10 answers · asked by hrmom02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just wanted to say move forward w/ your life girlfriend, everything will be ok. It can be overwhelming at times, but you get past that. Just pray and ask God to give you the strength b/c some times it takes everything in you from snapping. Stay focused, and with each day it gets better. You just have to continue telling yourself that you deserve better treatment, and more out of life.
2006-07-10 21:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by yelloerose07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no matter how or what happens, separation and divorce is painful in different ways. If you don't have children, the pain is less intense. If you have children, you are bound to that person for life because of the children. However, if you don't have children, if you truly do not love your husband and are ready to move on to a better life, your pain is probably not going to be much. The only pain you will endure is the pain of being alone. If the love is no longer there, then there should be no mental pain. However, there is pain in knowing that you once loved this man and now you are alone and have to be for a time. I am divorced. I had both pains. I had children and it is still hard to this day even though I am re-married, to have to deal with the childrens father. I did not have any pain in leaving or with the decision to leave. I knew it was the right thing and I have not regretted it since. For myself there was no pain...for my children there was and is. I was married 11 years. I am very happy with where I am at now and it was worth the dificulty and mess of divorce.
To make a long story short. If you don't love him, and there are no feelings left and you are ready to move on....it's not going to be too painful. Please keep in mind I am not including the hassles of the legal aspects of things. That is another story. It is very difficult to "agree" and split everything up. Get an attorney is my advice on that score.
2006-07-10 17:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's about as much fun as a toothache when it's the weekend and you can't go see the dentist.
It's not very easy, but it's like that old saying..
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
In going through the process you may actually find yourself getting re-acquainted with someone you haven't had a chance to know in a very long time....yourself.
All of the divorced women I've met always say the same types of things..
how much happier they are,
how much less stress they have
than when they were married,
how much they enjoy being their own person,
and being able to come and go as they please without worrying about laundry, making dinner, etc.
If you've spent 8 years with your spouse and no longer have the same goals or interests, why prolong the agony any further?
You have one go-around in this lifetime, and it's too short for you to waste it by remaining in an unhappy relationship.
Good Luck~*
2006-07-10 17:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by DG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a light at the end of the tunnel! What seems so important right now (because your emotions are high) will fade eventually. You'll have new priorities replace what is in the forefront currently. There will still be little things that tick you off or upset you in the future, but this will get MUCH better with time!! Honestly!! Talk to family, friends and/or a counselor to release your frustration and try to not take it out on your children. By talking to others who have bene through it, you won't feel like such a freak!! I felt like I was the only one in the world who went through this humiliation and you are not alone!!
2016-03-15 22:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, divorce was worse than death. There were two little boys involved (who are now grown) and the pain nearly surpassed my ability to endure it. I can tell you that the state of your current relationship is probably well beyond conventional reconciliation, and yet divorce is absolutely not the will of God.
So what do you do? The fact is, without Christ at the center of your marriage, it most likely will form irreparable stress cracks, now and in future relationships. It is only through His love that we submit to one another, and create the kind of loving atmosphere that comes from a genuine interest in supporting our mates in big and small ways. In the song, Nature Boy, there is a haunting line: "The greatest thing you will ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." Do you want this? Ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, and He will show you how to build a relationship that will withstand the test of time and provide a home life full of love and peace.
2006-07-10 17:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by Elwood Blues 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was painful for me to read! You sound so very much like me! Your husband treats you the same ways my husband treats me. I am so sorry! The process of moving on is hard, but will be worth it in the end. I am just waiting for my daughter to graduate from high school & then I will leave after 23 years. I know it will be hard, but you must find your own happiness. Get out now before there are kids and you become totally stuck! Good luck & God bless you!
2006-07-10 17:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by Susan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's his world, and you're just living in it. Move on.
I'm sure it's never painless, but you may feel a sense of relief - as if a great burden has been lifted.
Like someone else said, life's too short to be unhappy...
2006-07-10 18:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain will lessen over time, but you will never get completely over it. Even though the pain may shrink the size of a dime, it will always be there.
2006-07-10 17:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
belive me it is hard at first i divorced in.2003. but my reasons was a woman who was cheating since.2001. and i didnt find out till. 2003. in my honest opion lifes to short to worry about this belive me on this . ?,
2006-07-10 18:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be like losing a part of yourself, your best friend, your lover. it would be the greatest pain other than death
2006-07-10 17:30:37 · answer #10 · answered by starla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋