i am 17 years old and my parents are going throguht divorce and i ahve no ideas what to do?

Question

i need someone to give me advice

Answer 1

Honey I am so sorry you have to go through this but unfortunately life hands us difficult things to deal with. It would be harder if you were younger but now youre almost an adult and at least you had that long with both your parents, most of us dont get even that. Be grateful and at the same time try to understand its time for your parents to go different roads. It doesnt mean its your fault or even theirs, people grow apart, it happens. You may find the arrangement isnt so bad, you can visit between 2 homes, it wont be so bad you'll see. You might like your parents better with moms house and dads house and they both being alot happier and more peaceful. Deep breathe, its going to be ok.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry! I hope this didn't come as a surprise to you. It will be hard to stay neutral, but when either parent starts complaining about the other, tell them that you love them both equally and it's not fair for them to burden you with issues that shouldn't be your concern or your business. My parents used to fight all the time but never got divorced. Many times I wished they would get a divorce because there was so much tension in my house that I didn't want to be at home when they were both there. If your parents arguments have made life at home uncomfortable for you, this divorce might be a blessing. I hope thats the case, and that you can continue to have a good relationship with both of your parents after this!

Answer 3

stay in your place and out of thier business.a divorce do not stop either parent from loving you and being a part of your life. sometimes people stop loving each other and can't get along.in the same house. if they are unhappy together then you will also be unhappy' if they can part as friends and not enemies then maybe some happiness will stay in your family life. this is not the end of the world.you can and should in a calm and mature manner tell them what you are feeling.but don't try to force them to stay together that could be a mistake and make you all miserable. if they chose to stay together and get along then that's great, the best thing you can do is pray and ask God to let his will be done. If God put them together then nothing can or will part them because that is what he meant to be ,it is part of his plan for them and if not then he will allow them to part.

Answer 4

There's not much you really can do, I know it's a painful thing to go through, but it's really about "them" and "their" relationship. All you can do is be a good daughter, and try to not take sides or get in the middle of "their" problems, because at the end of the day they are both your parents and they both love you no matter what they feel about each other. It's hard, very hard at first but it'll get better with time, time heals everything

Answer 5

Don't take sides. Let them know very early on that the problems are between them and not you. It is their relationship with each other that isn't working. If they start talking to you about the problems, remind them that as their child, your relationship with each is different than what they have/had. So, you can't be helpful. remind them that talking about the other parent pushes you further away from the parent doing the talking. Ask them to get you a professional to process your feelings with who can be objective. They cannot be objective. Talk to your school counselor or any other adult you trust.

Answer 6

try to live your life as normal as possible is their business not yours. It involves you of course but they made you so what ever they do they have to figure out themselves and you don't have to worry about it. Try to also focus on your self rather than how each of them feels, because if you look at it how would you think they would of worked it out if you were 2 years old. Sounds harsh but have it as a leson that when you get involved with someone is not a joke is a serious thing that affects not only you and him/her but affects others. Hey good luck and waterver you do like someone else said here dont play favorites, or a messanger they are adults and should act like it.

Answer 7

Well if they are getting a divorce there is not much you can do for them except to try and not take sides (unless you have good reason) At 17 you need to be working on your future, you need to take control of your life and get YOUR life going. Worry about college and where you will live and earn a living. Iive YOUR life.

Answer 8

There's nothing you can do. My parents got a divorce when I was 7. About 14 years ago. I'm screwed up as hell, but luckily you're old enough to know whats going on.

Anyway, just do what you normally do. Don't feel the need to take any sides, they love ya the same. It is heartbreaking isn't it? But we all have to feel heartbreak sometime, no one's perfect.

Answer 9

You don't need to know what to do. All you need to know is that it isn't your fault, and that your parents still love you no matter what. Being 17 will probably be difficult.. I was 9 when my parents were divorced, and I didn't have to make any decisions.. they were all made for me, but what you need to remember that no matter who wants the divorce, both of your parents are hurting. They may talk bad about each other.. but you don't have to pick sides. What you are goinf to have to do it tell your parents ( when they start talking bad about the other one ) is this :

You are my (mother/father) and I love you. But you are talking about my ( mother/father) and I love them too. Whatever problems you two had together does not change that they are my (mother/father) and the love that I have for (him/her). I know that you're upset, but please don't talk bad about my ( mom/dad ) in front of me.

That is the only decision taht you're going to have to make.

Answer 10

It is not your problem, your parents have a reason that they are getting divorced, trust me I've been there, You are almost 18 so you don't have much to worry about when it comes to visiting each of them, and you might hear them say things about each other, just put them out of your head and remember how much you love both of your parents