Suddenly he is miserable. I don't have a problem with divorce. Kids are grown, I have a career. He is a retired marine. He started getting verbally abusive in the end.
2006-07-10 16:41:49 · 20 answers · asked by raquel6037 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me you have already made up you mind go with your instincts.
2006-07-10 16:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suddenly he is miserable sounds like he has someone else on the side. Twenty-four years is a long time to throw away. Suggest marriage counseling, if he doesn't want to go, then hire a private detective to see what he's doing. Provided you are not doing anything immoral, you are entitled to 1/2 his retired pay. Check your state laws for community property or other rights. It is really wise of you not to get involved in another relationship at this time, won't be good for you or the other person. Best of Luck to you. If your spouse doesn't have a fling going on, maybe you should suggest he gets a physical, he may have a legitimate physical or mental problem. I have seen people in the early stages of Alzheimer's, the personality can change or they can appear to change suddenly. One of the most common elements has been verbal abuse or physical abuse. I have known several couples who have divorced during this time but within a year the person grew worse and was institutionalized and the divorced spouse wished they had known beforehand. All the people I'm referring to are retired military.
2006-07-11 01:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by kriend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people marry for the wrong reason or simply out grow each other when the kids are all gone and career has stopped, some people feel lost and empty. The question is.. is your love unconditional enough to go threw this storm in his life? He might be going threw something else deeper within him.. The foundation that you built in your marriage should be able to stand the storm, every storm passes.
You should sit donw and talk with him as open as you can to get an understanding, he might just simply need some time alone or maybe he doesn't know what he wants, but you make ur own decission in the direction of where you may want to be..
Pray about direction and understanding, no road is easy.... I wish you the best of luck 24 years is a long time to walk away from when you really haven't found out why he wants change, and what made him decide he needs it
2006-07-11 00:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sounds of it, you are lucky he is leaving you. Yes, I would ask him how he would want to divide up whatever assets you have and then go to an attorney.
Being a retired marine is no excuse to be verbally abusive to anyone. Sounds to me he has a "honey" on the side...........
Leave him before it gets worse. BUT, don't leave so fast that you don't get your fair share of all the assets. If you do, some day you will be sorry..........Much Luck to You.
2006-07-10 23:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him some time to be on his own. If he asks to come back, be sure to lay out some new ground rules. No verbal abuse! 24 yrs. is a long time to throw away with out giving it a chance to work out. This maybe just a big bump in the road. If it is the end, you will know in your heart you gave him every chance to make it work.
2006-07-10 23:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by blue butter fly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe give him 6 months to 'find himself'. He may be going through his own depression and need space to work through it. While this is going on, do something for yourself. Learn to live independently and prepare for the future, 'just in case.' If he hasn't come to terms with himself after this time, speak to him about divorce. Another thought might be marriage counciling.
2006-07-10 23:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by jlrmackay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make any quick decisions. He may be going through a midlife (or oldlife) crisis and just needs time. Maybe you both need time apart. You can be separated for years, but why divorce. Marriage is not something you should just throw away. Let him file if that's what he wants.
2006-07-11 00:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by Mitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should continue to communicate and set a certain time frame in which he needs to have either found himself or is in agreement about ending the marriage.
It would not be fair to you if he should string you along, that is why a time frame is crucial. You need and he does also, to get on with life. Remember, you only live once!
2006-07-10 23:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on, if he has. If he is verbally abusive, and miserable, then there is obviously a problem here. It's time to find someone else I'd say...
2006-07-10 23:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by vicksta1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never an excuse for abuse. Verbal or physical. Don't look at it as a way of screwing him for everything he is and earns. It's not worth it. Be sincere and work something out with him out f court if you can.
2006-07-10 23:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by djprall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
carry on buliding your career and take care of yourself now your children have flown the nest. you should be having fun now and not being subjected to verbal insults after rasing his children for a good part of your life no one should put up with verbal abuse, let him find himself and when he has you've moved on and up to better climbs.
2006-07-12 23:12:25 · answer #11 · answered by ABs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋