Psychology Question, please help?

Question

I have many times heard from people who came over to me and asked me why "people do not like me?"
Conducting a behavioral analysis, I found out that most of these people rarely interact with people and therefore some of their responses (answers, actions) were slow, ackward, and alot of times out of the ordinary. Psychologically, I could assign them to jump out the boat and try to socialize as much as possible. But the main question would be, can people "accept" them before they actually "change" ? It's a tough call dealing with rejections, rolling eyes, and hurtful remarks especially for these kids. A lot of times they gave up half-way and decided to isolate themselves from the world.

1. How do you usually react when interacting with these kind of people? Do you don't want to deal with them anymore? Do you gossip about them to others? Do you reach out to them and become friends? Let me know your perspective.
2. Have you ever met someone with this psycholical problem?
thanks!

sorry for the typos, I was writing in a hurry

Sorry to offend some people. What I meant by psychology is not psycho. It is a human's behavior / thinking pattern which many have problems and tried to find solution to get rid of the, like some people said, the feeling of rejection, not-good enough, and yes, underconfident.
But at the same time, those who overly confident, aggressive, snobbish, hateful, sensitive, - are also part of the psychological issues that people have to deal with.

we are all want to be better people.

Answer 1

Is this kind of behavior something that people can "change" or is this just a personality type? I think people can accept them - but that doesn't mean that they are interesting to talk to or hang around.

Maybe they don't necessarily need to "change" they just need to find someone that they can relate to.

Answer 2

Are you speaking of "anti-social" individuals, or simply "shy" people who tend to fare better when they're in the back, away from all the action?

If you're speaking of wallflowers, I can get along with them just fine, for I am also one. We are not "anti-social", or "psychotic", we just prefer to be alone and not bothered most of the time. We do not raise our hands in unison with the rest of the class whenever the instructors asks a question, nor do we hang in a gigantic group of giggling, overconfident people ready to insult anyone in a heartbeat.

Under-confident? Some of us might be, some of us are also just overly quiet, and prefer to listen, rather than to run our mouths like no-it-alls(and an empty wagon does make a lot of noise) So, don't think a quiet person is a mentally "sick" person, because it is always not the case. Sometines it's best to get to know a person(or a subject) before you go genarlizing an entire "category".

Answer 3

That was me as a kid. I think in most cases it's just a developmental delay, at least I'm not that shy as an adult and a bit outspoken. It is tough for a kid though. Part of the problem is that children as a group are quicker to reject a misfit and make cruel remarks, which adults usually would not do. However adults are also at fault for not educating children to be more accepting. Another problem is that when you tell these kids to change or act differently, they don't know what you mean. They think they have to change thier entire personalities, and that's impossible. Cut them some slack and help them to take small, concrete steps to build better social skills.

Answer 4

I think I, as well as most people fear the unknown. Most people, especially kids judge the world around them as safe and known; and unsafe and/or unknown. People who behave out of the ordinary put people off guard and it takes lots of practice to react in a positive way that helps that person continue to work on these skills. I have been teaching for nearly a decade, and I still struggle to find ways to connect with these kinds of kids, even though I have lots of experience working with them. I think some part of the standoffish is kind of normal, albeit sad. They need to be encouraged by those closest to them that the reactions of the average stranger is insignificant and they'll gt there "some day" stress progress and trusting those who are closest to guide them. You cant change society or human nature, but you can help them understand and accept it. Good luck. Nice question.

Answer 5

I have been accused of treating my dogs better than most people. I was the outcast growing up, so I can relate to the ones wanting to know why someone does not like them. My attitude was that if they did not want to like me, fine by me. I have better things to do than try to win the friendship of people that were shallow.

I do not gossip about people. I will not say something about a person that I will not say to their face.

My philosophy on friends is that everyone is my friend until they earn their way off of that list. The same applies to respecting other people, they start out with the level set at 100%. They have to earn their way down the scale.

Yes, I have many friends with psychological problems. I have a few relatives with severe problems. Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy. I know I'm in trouble if I argue with myself about the issue. :)

Answer 6

I generally like to befriend people like this. Most of them are extremely kind and make excellent friends.

I will admit that the friendship aren't always easy when we're in larger crowds. However, having someone they know likes them does seem to help.

Also understand that some people simply do not like social interaction and therefore have less social skills. An introvert, for example, gets easily exhausted and frustrated when dealing with large crowds.

I enjoy friendships with genuine people. People who do not have "social skills" are about as genuine as they get. They're not pretending or following social protocal. So, while it can be frustrating, it's refreshing sometimes to drop it all and simply enjoy each others company.

Answer 7

I have known more than a few people with that psychological problem. I always assume that their problem came about because of an improper environment when they were growing up. I think I must be an easy person to talk to because many of these people have asked me that very question. I never pull any punches. I tell them straight out what I think they are doing wrong and what I think they can do about it (in as nice a way as I can). I certainly don't gossip about them to other people and I won't listen to other people's gossip.

Answer 8

Basically, it is not about "other people liking me" but it is about "me liking myself"

Is he/she comfortable with his/her self?
Are there anything that make him/her feel the urgency of being liked by others? Generally, others will not like persons who are unsure, insecure or uncertain about themselves. Primarily because others simply reflect what has been already "there or not there" in the self.

Trying so hard to change especially for the sake of others is a significant indicator of insecurity. This insecurity is communicated through our actions and words.

How to deal with them? Just show unconditional acceptance and understanding which by the way can only be given sincerely if the person has reached a certain level of emotional maturity brought about by an established and affirmed personal identity.

Answer 9

I am a collector of strays. I tent to try to draw them out and encourage them to interact with me and with others... to steer them into conversation with those who will be kind and not sneer or make fun. It is difficult. Often the ones I think will be accepting will be having an off day and be uncooperative and I have to quickly steer them into another group, but that isn't always bad... it's a good life lesson really. If one situation doesn't work out, move on. Nobody gets along with every single person they meet unless they are a fabulous actor and a total phony.

Answer 10

1. keep in mind that not everyone will be able to be reached in a typical manner. you sound like you may be dealing with mildly eccentric youth. finding a common ground that you can discuss with these people is paramount. if they can teach you something, or at least beleive that they are teaching you something then it could improve self asteem and want them to move into a broader social settings. you should keep in mind that "problems" are best referred to as challenges and frienship is not the answer. it is not uot of the question but someone with this type of error in thinking may confuse freindship for dozens of other relationship. keep focused on helping them and not so much you. fragile people are easily misguided i.e. drug culture, sub culture, bad influences in general. good luck i hope this helps. wish i had more time to disscuss. sorry about the typos