Do you think it's fair that women usually get custody of the children?

Question

Panther, I have custody of both my children, and neither father is in the picture. (Yes, two daddies, two babies, 14 years apart. Does that make me a whore? ) I am asking what people think, because I am sick and tired of hearing men whine about it, when they don't bother visiting their children anyway!

Steven L, do you know anything about the history of divorce law? Did you know that child support orders are RECENT? That women whose husbands left them 50 years ago left the kids with the mothers and didn't pay a dime, didn't have any responsibility? I disagree that women are always best, but, I think the ideal situation, joint custody, and living in the same neighborhood is so unlikely, and the majority of the cases of which I have knowledge, the fathers don't bother to visit the kids after the relationship with the mother ends. My two 1/2 year old has never SEEN his father!

Answer 1

Depends on the parents.

Their loss.

I know it's hard on you (been there done that 1 out of two times), but at least they have you.

My kids were 11 years apart.

BTW, don't EVER call yourself that!

What are men that have different kids by different women?

Answer 2

This really depends on the mother and who was the main caretaker of the children. If the mother is the main caretaker. Then yes. If the father is the main caretaker then no. Also, is the mother a drug addict, alcoholic, or mentally unstable. Or is the father any of these things. In most cases the mother gets custody because she is the main caretaker. She bathes them. Clothes them, takes them shopping, feeds them and takes them to soccer or whatever. This is a touchy subject and it all depends on the situation. If the mother is a fit parent then it is fair, however if she isnt, and that is hard to prove, then no. In order to prove a mother unfit, you basiclly have to have a police report (many usually) and pictures of her abuseing, and neglecting the children/ Here say just isnt enough and in most states history of drug abuse isnt enough. I know this from personal experence. My stepson is still in the custody of his mother who abonded him to her parents and was a heavy drug user and still was awarded custody by the court system. So in some cases it isnt fair and some fathers should have custody of their children. I like to say that if the father pays for a better lawyer hell get custody as long as the mother has some sort of mental or substance abuse problem and has harmed the children physically with documented proof. Otherwise 99.9 percent of the time even if the father has the best lawyer in the state or country the mother is awarded custody of the children.

Answer 3

It completely depends on the situation, because each situation is different in many many ways. In my brother's case, no I think he should have custody. The mother is living in the projects, my brother is buying his own home. She has 2 other kids with 2 other men. She is living off of his child support, not getting child support from the other 2 fathers, while my neice didn't even have her own toothbrush! And her "boyfriend" was giving her black eyes every month. But, DFS said that my brother couldn't "prove" that the environment was unhealthy for her.

In my case, I have 2 children, and their father is one of those that thinks that since he doesn't see his kids(by his choice) he doesn't have to pay for them. While, he's getting plastered everynight and acting a fool.

Like I said, every situation is different. It is very hard to take children away from their mother, because naturally the mother is the more sensitive care-giver. It's really stupid, and I'm glad that I am going to be making a difference in this world by getting my degree and becomming a social worker.

Answer 4

I think that children need both their parents actively in their lives! Custody is often given to the mothers more due to nurturing of young children. I know there are many fathers out there that equally love their children and would do well in raising them.

Its never an easy decision to be made and we can just be thankful that at a relatively early age children's voices can and are heard as to who they want to live with.

Unfortunately ... as we revolve it makes parenting even more difficult as the parents aren't allowed to truly parent their children.

Often its not fair the way the courts go, but I have to believe that things are getting a bit better now as I know a few fathers that either have full custody or joint custody of their children.

Answer 5

absolutely ,they came from your body. if you didn't want them ,you should have thought of that when daddy only wanted to be blown.the reason most women get custody is cause the man is a total loser,and with all the alimony he has to pay he would not be able to afford to keep the kids,so take some child support.and give the kids the better life they deserve.women are more responsible, level headed, and know what they want out of life. unless the mom is a crack whore then nevermind.hope this helps

Answer 6

The only thing that's fair is what's best for the kids. Nowadays, it's actually more common to assign 50-50 joint custody in which both parents retain an equal amount of responsibility.

Answer 7

I dont think that is true anymore. My husband has custody of his son, my brother in law has custody of his daughter and I know three other men who have custody of there children as well. I think the fair thing would be whoever is best for the child. I am glad to see that men are getting custody of thier kids. Before we got custody of my stepson we paid child support to a dead beat mom who spent the money on herself and lived off welfare.

Answer 8

Where have you been the stone ages. In 70% of the cases where the men actually WANT custody and are willing to tell the court that, the MEN get custody. But there aren't that many men that want to raise kids, lets face it, its a hard job. So yes, its fair that women get custody.

Answer 9

I think that in some cases it should be the mother and in some cases it should be the dad. And in cases like mine were both parents are finacially and emotionally stable enough to handle the children they spend two weeks with me and two weeks with dad and they have rooms and cloths and everything at each house and there is no child support involved because we both contribute equally to the childrens finacial stability. When they get older they will have a choice of whose house they want to stay at and when and how long they want to stay. What I really think is sickening is when children are used as pawns in the parents game of I can hurt you more than you hurt me. I never discuss with my children why mommy and daddy don't live together, just that both of us love both children more than life itself and if one child says something bad about thier father than I correct them. And he does the same for me.

Answer 10

I think nowadays if fathers try they have a pretty good chance of getting at least joint custody. However, I don't really know of any dads who do more than TALK about how they're gonna fight for their kids, then they disappear, usually with a woman closer to the age of their kids than their own.

Answer 11

No, because some women are not good mothers and they just use the kids as a pay check. When they get the money, it does not go towards the kids, it usually goes for her clothes, makeup, hairstyles, fingernails, etc....Many times kids are better off with the father.