third time, have a 12 yr old and 14 y/o from 2nd (abusive) marriage. There's no communication here, feelings, we share bills & responsibilities & nothing else. Recently (6 mo>) I've gotton sober and am not happy in this situation anymore. I have a very close male friend with whom I confide in who's also sober, as well as wonderful girl friends for the first time in a long time. My husband doesn't understand what this sobriety means to me, but doesn't ask about the program or show any interest other than jealousy at the meetings. He was okay with being my enabler though. I am being asked "why I don't have urges to have sex anymore", well, the last time in January, I was drunk. He is pressuring me (for tonight) and giving me a hard time about it. Should I sleep with him just to shut him up? He thinks I am sleeping around anyhow. I don't want to lose the house, but this has got to end. My male friend will stand by me whatever I decide, but I feel so cheap if I do it with no flg
2006-07-10 15:45:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you probably are feeling more comfortable with
the male friend, because he too is sober and it is easier
to talk to him about the things that the two of you have in common. Does your husband have a drinking problem
also? Does he have any compassion for the things you are feeling or going through? Do you love your husband?
You said this is your third marriage, you didn't mention
love, only the house. If you are miserable with him and
you are ready to end your marriage do it for yourself
not because of someone else.
2006-07-10 16:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never have sex with someone to shut them up. Then he will think hes going to get it again. I can understand wanting a place to live plus you have children. Is there anyway for you to get help with the bills and the house or a roommate that you trust around your children and kick his butt to the curb? Its easier im sure for him when your drunk he has more control now that your sober he doesnt have that control anymore. He does seem to know what being sober means to you, and he doesnt like it. That is not a person you want to stay with.
2006-07-10 23:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Victoria L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since you are trying to sober up it take more then a few week to do this like a one full year of not drinking i take it you are going though AA then you know the rules about it no relationship for a year and as far as your husband go he only going to bring you down it time to get to pack his bags and tell him to get the hell out of your life then i would wash every thing down in your house and paint the whole house fix up any thing that broken
and get a dog or a cat or a plant and after one year if that what every you decide to have in your life service then you and ready for a new life
good luck
2006-07-10 23:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! If you really want out and want to keep the house, then ask him to leave. If he doesn't then tighten your budget so you can save money and get out. this cannot be go for your kids either. think of what they are going through. Good Luck!!!
2006-07-10 22:57:52 · answer #4 · answered by sleeplessdreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋