my friend just called me and she thinks she's pregnant....it's not the first time...the first time she lost the baby....she sounds kinda happy....she called me the aunt....i don't know what to do...should i be happy for her? i know it's wrong but i just don't know what to say to her....any advice???
2006-07-10 15:31:48 · 17 answers · asked by Daveyluverx3AFI♥ 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
her boyfriend is 14, she's14, and i'm 14
2006-07-10 15:32:13 · update #1
Oh boy...your Friend and her boyfriend are too young to be able to give a child everything they need for healthy development (mentally and emotionally speaking).
It seems to me that your friend may have some self esteem issues, and feels that by having this baby, she has someone to love her unconditionally. The problem that a lot of young girls who want to become pregnant do not realize that being a parent is the ultimate full time job. 24-7, 365 for the rest of their lives.
As far as what to say to her, be supportive. However, don't be fake. If you're not comfortable being called the "aunt", explain that to her. She's going to need all the support she can get, be it from family, friends or even services for teen parents. Depending on where you live, there should be social service agencies that have programs geared towards teen parenting. Call your local United Way chapter for information. They usually are set up like a 411 of social services. Some people have a bad perception of social services. Not all social service agencies are like child protective services. Most are voluntary, free, and provide both support and education to the teen parents.
The most important thing you can do for your friend is to let her know it's OK to ask for help. The fact is that very few teen parents succeed in parenting without support. Good luck to her and to you.
2006-07-10 15:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by cnvrtblbug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first she should find out for sure if she is pregnant then she should tell her parents as a friend i would try to be supportive, even if it's not something you really approve of, tho you might mention that tho you are happy for her it was slightly iresponsible how she got pregnant at 14.
2006-07-10 22:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I completely understand why you are scared for her. You should try and prepare her for the reality of having a baby the best you can. Right now it's all peaches and cream to her. It will hit her like a ton of bricks when/if she brings that baby home.
I had my first baby at 21 and thought I was completely ready. When I had him I remember thinking, "I would go completely insane had I had a baby when I was in my early teens"... this after watching one of those wacky "My 12 year old wants a baby" talk shows.
2006-07-10 22:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by sahm2boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends on how you feel about her being pregnant, and how she will handle it. If you feel like she is responsible enough to take care of a child than be happy for her. At this point there isn't much you can do except be her friend. And don't let it happen to you, you are young stay that way while you can.
Best wishes to you and your friend
2006-07-10 22:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what can I say? This kid is in trouble and her troubles are just starting. Her parents will probably go ballistic (I would if I were her dad). She (or you) have no clue as to the responsibilities involved in caring for a child, not to mention the financial responsibilities, time commitment, emotional strain, psychological trauma, physical trauma (of birth), and inability of the "father" to support this child. The burden of this child will be placed probably on the grandparents (who have already paid and are still paying for the raising of their child) who don't deserve this additional strain on their family. This could cost them their marriage. There will be court battles to cover child support and social services might get involved.
Should you be happy for her? Perhaps, in once sense, but if I were you I'd try to be there for support 'cause that girl and boy are in for a lot more than they bargained for.
Why is it that you girls can't keep your panties on and tell the guys no. Why can't you guys keep your equipment in your pants until you are ready for marriage.
You are RUINING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-10 22:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your friends check out this website. you might find some support from these people.
I really hope she is not pregnant! 14 years old is WAY to young to be having babies, hon! Let yourselves gro up before making such a deep, deep, life commitment!
Good Luck to you all...
2006-07-10 22:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by TwiggyJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dunno.. but if i were 14 and was possibly pregnant I'd be ashamed of myself... is it just me or are kids more stupid these days?
ever heard of using a freakin' condom? or better yet...waiting till you at least 16 or 17 to have sex... hell 14 .. wow.. ..
how is your 14 year old friend going to support this kid?... her 14 year of bf sure won't be able to.. I'm sure he's not working.... so... that means yet another Welfare case... its pretty sad how girls my age now a days get knocked up just to get on welfare.... and even worse... sometimes they keep having kids just so they don't have to get off welfare... sad sad way to live....
hate to sound harsh but... i would tell her to get an abortion or maybe have the kid and give it up for adoption... kids shouldn't be having kids.... maybe if both their parents are fine with them having the kid(s)... which i highly doubt.. lol ...
anyways... i hope for her sake that she isn't pregnant
2006-07-10 22:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely be scared, all 3 of you do not have the necessary means to handle this baby. A baby is very very expensive.
2006-07-10 22:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by news101now 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG......14----14---14 OMG
don't u get lessons at school !(*&@!)@! and im only 12
@#)&@#(!@(*!)#*!(@*!*(!+$*@($*+#@)$_@)#(@+_$(_#+@#@)_#(@)_# im sorry
but......don't panic, she might panic, she will get hypertension, or high blood pressure and she will get overwhelm and might be fatal..Not to panic just to help you not panic....(confusing huh)
just tell her good luck, and if she's gonna give birth. TELL HER TO try not to eat unhealthy food and do good exercise. Next time don't have unprotected sex...AT THE AGE OF 14
2006-07-10 22:35:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kid... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's sounds happy about it? what's going on at home? you need to tell her in the future theres only going to be one parent. he's not going to stick around for long I seen this too many times
2006-07-11 10:41:11 · answer #10 · answered by sarah k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋