Could someone please explain the "I was born like this" argument?

Question

First of all, don't get me wrong. This is not intended to insult or debate anyone or anything. I just want something to make sense to me, that currently does not.
I've heard a major argument to the question "why are you gay?" is something like "I was born being attracted to the same gender". But ultimately, it's a choice, isn't it? I could see how a straight person could, under pressure, become gay. People break and create new habits and change their ideas all the time. I've also heard that it's a chemical imballence, but so is everything labeled as a mental disorder. I mean, I believe people when they tell me the story of discovering they were gay... but it doesn't make sense. Could someone (perferrably someone who is gay and knows firsthand) explain?

Answer 1

okay... i know a lot of people nave been giving you sh*t for asking this, but i think it's just that you are straight and so you don't understand. it's like being a guy and wanting to know about menstrual cycles.
so, think about this...how do you know that you are born straight? you obviously have no desire for the same sex. now, ACTING on your innate desire (and sexual attraction, i know this isn't proven, but it's a very animal like instinct inborn kinda thing) ACTING on what is inborn, you choose to date the opposite sex.

i'm gay and believe me... it is in my body. i feel it when my hormones change every month. it manifested itself during puberty, just as straightness did in you. i choose not to fight it, and so i lead a healthy life with my girlfriend.

it's a confusing issue. but it's not a mental disease. and in some way, you DO choose. BUT... it's really choosing to accept yourself the way you are. like saying, "oh, i'm tall... i'll need to get long pants" or "guess i'm gonna have giant boobs, huh? i choose a sturdy bra."

Answer 2

Actually science is finding more of a biological answer. True homosexuals, not these experimenting college kids, are born with more hormones of the opposite gender, but not enough to change their parts. Hence, when someone says they feel more famine, than masculine for example. Brain scans of people who are gay, actually have brain activities different from heterosexuals of their gender, and closer to ones of the opposite gender.

But like most arguments in science and specifically psychology, facts like this turn out to be 50% nature and 50% nurture. Take IDENTICAL twin studies... if one twin is gay the likelihood of the other being gay is a little more then 50%. This is not the same for fraternal twins. I guess simply, some are biologically gay, others are environmentally gay.

Answer 3

I am not gay but my brother is. And from early on he was different than my other two brothers. Not drastically, but different.
He was born this way and I think gays are just wired a bit different.
The thing that I always think is why would you choose to be gay, if you weren't? With all the prejudice and homophelia-you'd be asking for a tough life.
Since I am straight I couldn't imagine (no matter how much I changed-an I have changed so much) becoming gay. I'm just not wired that way.
I just accept anyone for who they are and it matters not which way they are.

Answer 4

The following idea is unpopular, but here goes...

As we research homosexuality more and more, there seems to be both a genetic factor, and an environment factor (I recall that sexual abuse when young increases the probability of homosexuality).

However, that does not control one's behavior. Those motivated to change their behavior can live a different life by their choice. Those who have "tendencies" can choose a straight lifestyle just as those who are disposed to addiction can live without alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. It requires awareness, and committment, but it is possible, and simple.

However, it is not easy too choose against genetics. And in today society, it's not a big deal, so it's easier to have a homosexual lifestyle.

Answer 5

Let's put this simple, since I assume your straight. When was the last time you were attracted to a man and why? What? Never? Why? You don't find them attractive?

Same here only for women. Its not that I don't think they're pretty or nice, they just don't "do it" for me. Show me a Playboy and I look at the layout of the picture, how her make up is down, is her face too air-brushed, everything but, well what you look at FIRST...why? because its simply not interesting too me. Nothing personal, I didn't "wake up one day and go, ah heck, think i'll su*k dick from now on" just like you don't remember the day you "decided" to like girls and not boys, do you? Since you don't remember choosing, why do you think I had a choice?

Answer 6

I'm 28 years old and gay, and I've never had any sexual feelings or fantasies towards females EVER!

In hindsight, I've been attracted towards guys since elementary school. No, I didn't have sex that young. :P
While growing up, I thought the feeling would go away, but it never did.

Why would anybody CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE a lifestyle that incites hatred, discrimination and ridicule from others in society?? I, for one, certainly wouldn't!

My parents, for the most part, are anti-gay, especially my dad. I've continuously strived to please them and make them proud, whether in school or at work. Why would I CHOOSE to disappoint them by being homosexual, and deny them of another grand-child? Yet again, I wouldn't.

I just don't find women attractive, plain and simple.

Answer 7

No one becomes gay. No one becomes straight. You just know.

I always knew I was heterosexual. I also have always known I have dark hair and freckles.

I didn't have a choice in any of those matters.

FYI: The diagnosis that homosexuality was a mental disorder was discredited in the 70s and has been removed from the DSM. So you don't have to worry about that false argument.

Answer 8

I do apply the same argument with regards to illegal drugs, public nudity, and prostitution. That's why I don't think any of the above actions should be illegal. Your body, your choice. It shouldn't be okay for the law to to tell a woman what to do with her body when it comes to drugs, prostitution, and nudity, as well as reproduction.

Answer 9

You don't have to be gay to understand the argument.

Let me clarify it for you.

This is not a right or wrong issue, it is an acceptable or not acceptable issue.

The argument is there to tell you to butt out of somebody else's love life.

People want what they want, there is no explaining it, so why should they have to defend a preference to you or anyone else?

Personally, i find it the polite way of saying, "I don't know; Shut up!"

Answer 10

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