how do you spice up a marriage of 11 years?

Question

My wife and I feel like we don't have common interests. we have two children 7 and 9. I like my truck and hanging out outside(camping and things.) she says she is willing to try a few of my things. on my part i can honestly say i don't know her interests. we have the common money issues and stress of the kids. any ideas ?

Answer 1

i dont know i have been marry 4 times i dont thing i could look at nobody for 11 years

Answer 2

Yes, send the kids to granmas, then have a romantic wild night...but it doesn't start then, it should start in the morning,,,and then call each other a few times during the day. Talk about what you're going to do to one another when you finally get home from work, etc.... Then have her pack what ever she needs to be comfortable in a tent...(not your idea of comfortable, hers....) and go camping somewhere great, alone, secluded....romantic! Talk to each other, start conversations with her, don't just let her do all the talking.... ask her things like, what would you do if you had $1,000 to blow, or where would your most wild vacation take place....You have to have regular date nights too. You have to spend time together away from the kids, where you two are the center of each other's attention. Find out if there's anything she ever wanted to try, but was afraid to, and then offer to do it with her! Remember, she married you and stayed with you because she loves you. You already have her, but keep acting like you could lose her, or you may.

Back her up when she has problems, do spontaneous things for her, tell her how much you appreciate her...bring her flowers, even if they're from the yard...every so often,...plan a date all by yourself, and then surprise her. Buy her new sheets! A candle for your bedroom..and make sure you tell her it's for the bedroom....

Been there, and my husband will never lose me. You have to act like you haven't been together so long, by doing new and different things all the time.

Answer 3

Show her you appreciate her. Compliment her. Don't just say the obvious "you look beautiful." Tell her you couldn't live with out her. That she is an amazing woman. That you will never find someone with a smile that beautiful or whatever you really like about her. I know I am making this about her. Trust me I am a woman and if you really feel that your husband is completely into you. You are going to be the most wonderful wife in return. She is rightfully tired, stressed and no longer feels sexy. If you make her feel like a million, you will find the magic you've been missing. Date her all over again. Not necessarily the going out, but the same effort. She will start being the woman you dated before you were married.

Answer 4

10 years and going stronger than ever here. Do things that you might actually like doing. For example, my wife and I took Salsa dancing lessons together and we had a blast. Not once did I feel awkward about it because people were there to learn and they knew that we were there to learn as well. It gave us a few hours per week without the kids and we were all about each other.
Since then, we go to to movies (alone) more, we take walks at the track together when we can, we sit and talk with the tv off while we eat together. Basically, we spend more "quality" time together. Oh, and I've never let one day pass without telling her that I love her and how hott she looks. And I actually mean what I say when i say it.

Answer 5

Love based on GOD last for ever, u can read this book "Boy meets girl"

Which talks about the story of how the auther met and married his wife, Shannon. Where Harris's first book encouraged readers to throw off modern ideas of romantic fixation, Boy Meets Girl goes to the next level and urges single Christian men and women to pursue courtship, and ultimately marriage, thoughtfully and prayerfully. Knowing that many readers will balk at the idea of premeditated courtship, Harris insists that dating should not be emotional recreation but rather a careful decision rooted in obedience to God. While the anecdotes used to reveal true-to-life scenarios about dating pitfalls are somewhat elementary (and geared to those in their 20s), Harris succeeds in hammering home the point that obedience to God's word, selfless love, community, purity, and satisfaction in God are the most important aspect of any relationship. The last section of the book is particularly practical, discussing forgiveness of past sexual sin, questions to ask before tying the knot, and how an understanding of our sinful nature can lead to conflict resolution. For Harris's mere twentysomething years of life experience, his maturity and devotion to God are sincere evidence that he has indeed practiced what he has preached, resulting in a passionate relationship with the love of his life. --Jill Heatherly

Answer 6

Lots of couples go through the same things you mention of money issues and the kids. it would be wise to find out her interest and take things from there. This is not an easy fix as you both will have to work hard to save your marriage.

There must be some thing you both like ?

Answer 7

Drop kids of with relatives or friends for the weekend, take her camping underneath the starts in a SECLUDED area, Insist on cuddling by the campfire in the same sleeping bag with nothing else on, I am sure she is insecure after 2 kiddos, let her know how beautiful she is and how much you love her!! then after all the mushy stuff, try a coupla new tricks and BLOW HER MIND!!!

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you guys need to learn to communicate. I've been married for 30 years, and I can tell you that this is the key. I highly recommend that you do a Google search for "Family Life Conference" and attend one. It will get you both on common ground and give you plenty to talk about and many ways to relate positively to each other and your kids.

Answer 9

This is something you need to discuss with your wife. You can get all kinds of suggestions on here, but they may not be compatible with what YOUR wife would like. You said yourself that you really don't know her interests. Good Lord man, no wonder the thrill is gone. You don't even know her anymore. Talk, Talk, Talk, find out what it takes from HER!!

Answer 10

It's kind of sad that you don't know her interests. Sounds like you need to take her on a few dates. Make it romantic...and remember, women aren't (typically) visually stimulated like men are. We eat, breathe, and sweat emotion. Use that to your advantage...in a positive way!