I am married. I have 3 children from a previouse relationship, he also has a son from a previouse?

Question

relationship.And iam pregnant with my husbands child. The problem that i'm having is he seems to descipline my kids more and don't give them the attention that they need as a stepfather and he lets his child get away wiyh everything. How should i handle the situation?

Answer 1

Blending families is not easy!

Have the two of you sat down and agreed on ground rules? Discussed what consequences are appropriate for misbehavior for each child? (Remember that kids are individuals. What works for one won't phase another!) Discussed what is reasonable behavior and what is not? Discussed what you would like to bring to your kids and to his kids and vice versa?

Do this. Build up your own relationship in this area and the rest will follow.

Answer 2

This situation of discipline your Kids and not giving them the attention as a step father is some thing a lot of people go through. This alone can ruin a relationship if ther is not discussion on the matter.

Talk to him about it and see what happens from there. Have he been doing this for a long time or as you are pregnant with his child ?

Answer 3

First of all, my hat's off to you guys for trying to make this work! ALL families have snags, but a mixed family is very difficult. I would suggest that you talk to your hubby and tell him about your concerns. Also, LISTEN to his. He sees things from a different perspective. Perhaps write down a list of rules and consequences for ALL the kids that you will both use regardless of whose biological child it is. This will create security in the children, and a non-negotiable policy you can use. Also, children who know the rules feel more loved and it gives parents more time to love them. If this doesn't work for you, find a good marriage counselor. Because it sounds like you've got a great marriage and it would be a shame to let something like this get in the way.

Answer 4

my situation seems very similar to your own, i am married i have two children from a previous relationship, my husband and i have a 6 month old together. i have the same problem when i see my husband doing something that i dont like i stop him dead in his tracks and correct him. i think no child should be treated any better than the other. next time bring it to his attention right away, but dont do it in front of the kids!!! let him know that he is showing favortism.

Answer 5

That's trouble. The first thing you should do is communicate your feelings with him. If he doesn't respect what you have to say and just tells you he doesn't want to talk about it or only tells you why you are wrong and he is right...it will NEVER work. That's the hard part about love. You always find out too late, that you really can't be happy with the person you fell in love with. I wish the best for you. I've already been through it. Good luck,,,and I wish there was something more that I Could do.

Answer 6

you two need to address the discipline issue right away --- same rules apply --- if either of the kids do something that's wrong they get punished - no exceptions! Your house is about to become more crowded and the rules need to be enforced --- or you'll both be dealing with rebellious kids. Is the dad seeing the son according to visitations ? if so he may feel wrong for punishing his child because he doesn't have him all the time.... the fact is this causes more problems --- than it solves ---- his son needs to get punished for doing bad things too ---- or he'll use this situation to cause problems in your home ...

Answer 7

You need to talk with him in private. Don;t make accusations, just be clear that both of ytou need to agree on discipline in order for it to be effective. And that discipline needs to be the same for all children regardless.

The more that you communicate and talk about things, and both agree to compromises in order to get to a common agreement, the better things will be.

Build a relationship between him and your children. The more time they spend together, the better they will get along and like each other. POint out to him how much your children like him, and like to do things with him, and give him positive strokes (compliments) about what a good dad, and guy he is, when he does give them attention.

It may take awhile, but the seeds you plant will grow.

Answer 8

that's something you had plenty of time to think about before marriage and pregnancy, now that you got that little insurance policy in your belly, you wanna start rebelling and setting policy. maybe your kids need more dicipline being without a dad and all. maybe you are too easy on them and you look at his dicipline as being too tough on them. maybe that's why his kid doesn't need dicipline, it knows right from wrong because he was tough on it in the beginning. kids don't always welcome a new man in as daddy when that new guy is taking mommies attention away. it's tough to warm up to someone elses kids. I was just talking to a guy that lives around here this weekend, he had a new g/f and his g/f has a 10 yr old daughter, well the guy was trying to let the gurl know he accepted her and said give me a kiss on the cheek, she did and then she went and told mom , he tried to kiss her, and maybe in a 10 yr old mind that was the case, but in reality he was trying to warm up to the gurl , but when mom got the news, she came unglued, went crazy, needless to say, they aren't getting along any more. kids and stranger can be fickle sometimes, especially when kids aren't use to it.

Answer 9

To be elementary he's this style of unlawful that desires to bypass domicile. he's been right here breaking our rules for 8 years and now using without a license? US electorate won't be able to do this, why ought to he? he's not 'completely' assisting you in case your newborn is being paid to have a incapacity. it really is ****not**** RACIST to favor people TO follow OUR rules! heavily, what's so complicated to appreciate about this very undemanding theory? Why are you getting pregnant once you won't be able to arise with the money for the youngsters you've already got? No, even as the deportation procedure begins there is in basic terms about not something you are able to do.

Answer 10

Sorry but I wouldn't put my kids through this over some man. I'd leave with my kids and as for that baby, he'd be seeing that baby through visitation and there would be a court order on him for child support. My kids mean more to me than he ever would.