When you catch someone in a lie, do you call them on it or just keep it yourself?

Question

I usually call them out on it.

Answer 1

it depends on how important the person is to me. if it's someone close i question it, but some people are not worth the hassle of dealing with.

Answer 2

I'd like to go on some horse feather spewing rant about brother hood, charity and stewardship, but the bottom line is its usually too much work what with the conflict, accusations, the defensiveness and such. If i wanted to call someone out, id have to take about a 2 hr nap first. And people usually leave by then.

Answer 3

If they are never called on there lies, how will they ever stop. By not calling them on it you are encouraging them to tell more. Pull them aside and tell them you know its a lie. I am sure if you have caught them in a lie you werent the first. But maybe you can help it to be the last. You might be doing everyone a favor.

Answer 4

I used to call someone on a lie, every single time, the moment it left their lips, regardless of who witnessed it. But I have softened my stance over time.

I realized a while ago that many people lie to save face or build themselves up. For instance, I heard a man at a party talking once about how much money he was making. He had inflated the actual figure by about 100%, roughly doubling the truth. But I also realized that he was not telling the truth because he was talking to a bunch of men who made a lot more money than he did, and more importantly, the men were the types to look down on him if they knew he only made $26,000 a year. I let it go for the time, and then later that evening I mentioned it to him in a non-threatening way when we were alone outside, having a smoke. He immediately grew bright red and said he just felt so small around those other men, he was ashamed to admit to them that he made half of what the next lowest paid person did. In an effort to help him figure out another way to handle similar conversations, I pointed out to him the truth of the situation. Yes, all those other men make a lot more money, but they all hate their jobs and they all have shaky marriages because of money problems. This man, on the other hand, loves his job, and he and his wife are quite comfortable and happy living within their means. I suggested that next time he simply redirect the conversation by saying something like, "Well, I may not make as much money as you guys do, but I sure love my job. How about you guys?"

When people lie in a way that is harmful to themselves and/or others, such as lying to a spouse about drug use or overspending or infidelity or legal problems, I usually call them on it. I try to do it in a way that forces them to be held accountable for their actions, while still allowing them to not look like fools in front of a lot of people, so I usually look for a quiet opportunity to call them on it, and I encourage them to come clean with the other people who are affected by their lie. (And yes, I did once tell someone who was cheating on her husband that she had 48 hours to tell him the truth, or I would do it for her.)

The one lie I still always call right when it comes out of a person's mouth is when they are lying to themselves. I had a friend tell me once that her binge drinking and her drug use was not a problem, and that she actually found it fun waking up with strangers whose names she didn't even know. I called her on it immediately. She has never spoken to me since, which is hard for me. I am hoping that someday she will be able to get and stay sober, and that she'll give me a call.

Answer 5

Wow this is a tough one.... It depends on who the person is, and how big a lie it is. For example if you know your spouse spent money and he/she lied, I would call them out, but if your spouse is telling a little white lie, like about the size of fish they caught, I would let it slide. However when my kids lie I call them out no matter what.

Answer 6

Depends

Answer 7

It definitely depends on who, what, where, when and why. It may be important to keep that information to yourself until it is needed later. Sometimes, you can call them out on it - when those must be presented at that moment, in order to drive the point across. I think we can say that "discretion is the better part of valor."

Answer 8

I would call them out on it for sure. I am way too honest most of the time, I tend to be too truthful sometimes, and I can admit when I am in the wrong , so i expect the same from everyone

Answer 9

Don't say anything, dismiss it.
They're only hurting themselves.
Just remember to have a little reminder in your head, they are not someone worth putting a lot of trust into.
You don't want to offend them, just keep a mental note.
If you are really close to that person, then you tell them.

Answer 10

usually I call them out, except for a few people I know that are compulsive liars and I gave up on calling out all there lies, I just don't believe anything they say any more

Answer 11

It depends on why you think they lied. If it's to save face, I'lll let it go but make a mental note of the irresponsibility.
If it's going to directly or inadvertently harm me, I call them out.