my bestfriend pam is 15 n has benn pregant 4 times by the same guy she's tried birthcontrol but the pills only make her sick n her bf pose to used comdoms but dont n everytime she tells him she pregant he flips out n hit her where she loses the baby n she is pregant (her mom kno's) n dosent kno if she should tell him cuz she wants to keep the baby this time with me but is scared of her bf's reaction this time what should she do???? she was going to leave him after the 2nd lose but he says he luv her he'll get help n he's SRRY i hate him he tried fightn me but my bf stepd n since im pregant n they fought he lose n jus left should she tell him alone or with me my bf n the police or wut???PLEZ help her!!!
2006-07-10 13:47:43 · 17 answers · asked by LaLa 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Dammit, use spell check.
2006-07-10 13:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooooo.kkkkkk. what a mess. Obviously, she doesn't mind being beaten on, which is a baaaaad thing. If you are truly her friend then you will do what's best for her, even if she hates you for it. If she won't leave him on her own, you need to go to her mom and tell her the TRUTH about everything. Hopefully her mom will step in and forbid them to see one another--a restraining order. Secondly, the girl needs counselling if she is willing to be with someone who not only hits her but at least attempts to kill his and her own unborn CHILD! Not only could he be killing his own children, but causing her to miscarry time and time again, I would think, could be more than a little hazardous to her health! AND, lets not pretend to be clueless. If the pill makes her sick, there are other forms of birth control besides the pill and the condom! The best being ABSTINENCE.
2006-07-10 20:55:41 · answer #2 · answered by hecatesmoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! The two of you are waaaaay too young for all this CRAP! I don't even know what to say to you. 4TIMES...repeat 4 TIMES. How many times does your friend have to make the same mistake before she will learn from it? Mistakes are only failures if you fail to learn from them.
Here's what I think. Your friend's mom should start acting like an adult and take charge. The two of you are making childish decisions in an adult situation. The boy should be told, he has responsibilities in this situation as well, but the girl should not do it alone, and not with you and your "bf" there. It should be a sit down with your friend's parents. Also I think if what you say about him hitting her the last 3-4 times is true, then she should definately get a restraining order against him.
So he says he "loves her" so what! He could say that he loves the guy next door, but it doesn't make it true unless his ACTIONS show it to be so. If he truly loved her, he would never want her to be harmed, and he would not want to harm someone that is a part of her, and him. On that topic if he TRULY loved her, he would not let her ruin her future life by selfishly letting her get into this type of situation. True love thinks of others first and stands by them in times of need to do what's best for the loved one. Even when what's best is more difficult.
So it's too late to keep her from getting into this situation, but now it is time for her, and her parents to take responsibility for her actions. Yes, I said, "her actions." The first step to maturity is accepting the responsibility and consequences for the choices you have made in your life. It's time to start thinking what is best for that innocent baby. (s)he needs to be protected and cared for. That definatly means getting rid of the boyfriend. It might even mean giving him/her up for adoption so that the baby will have the love an care from TWO mature and responsible parents so the baby will have a shot at a healthy emotional future and your friend would still have a shot at a future that includes bettering her situation. But in the short term it means your friend taking care of her health so the baby will be born healthy and without birth defects. Obviouslly, a baby being born into this situation will have enough challenges to overcome without haveing to deal with a disability as well.
Good luck to you and your friend. As often as I think of you and she, I will mention you to my heavenly father.
2006-07-10 21:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by reteach007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she really needs to tell him. He needs to know that what he's done is gonna make him pay child support for the next 18 years of his life. have her mom and you be around when he tells her so that he cant hurt her. also, keep her away from him during the pregnancy. make sure its really what she wants though. and her bf SHOULD have a say in it because its not fair that the woman gets to make the choice and the man has to pay for something he didnt want his entire life.
2006-07-10 20:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to leave him alone. This is a classic abusive relationship where someone keeps telling the other one *im sorry*...and it starts all over again. If police are involved..she may be asked to press charges (this varies by state--some states will prosecute w/o the spouse pressing charges)
if she refuses to press charges, police cant help her. she needs to realize shes in a dangerous relationship
2006-07-10 20:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by Duckie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should ditch her bf, and what does your bf feel about you being pregnant? 15-year-old girls should not be having sex or getting pregnant. She needs to lose that 4$$h0l3. And she needs to figure out what she's going to do with the baby, how she's going to provide for it, how she's going to tell her mom that she's going to have this one, etc.
2006-07-10 20:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to stop skrewing the guy and give the baby up for adoption because the baby deserves a life with a family!
2006-07-10 20:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the effing cops.
uhhh, even to unborn children, if he hit your friend and made her lose the baby it's like murder. she should leave him, since usually people won't stop even if they say they will stop hitting. get her help, and if she wants to protect her kid i would guess not telling the boy would be the best option.
2006-07-10 23:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by 8675309 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
15?! Tell her to stop going out with guys! She's not old enough, it's not wrong to get pregnant or anything, but she's not old enough for the reponsibility yet!
2006-07-10 21:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE HIM!! Her life depends on it! If she miscarries cuz of him she can die. Because women have died from miscarriages! POLICE of course if he tries to hit her!
2006-07-10 21:08:45 · answer #10 · answered by shasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new bf
2006-07-10 20:50:21 · answer #11 · answered by pat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋