Good poem?

Question

I made it up while thinking of a poem....


Words jumbled up on the page,
Pencil scribbling till the lead wears thin.

Not sure where this poem is going,
The lines will not quite fill up.

The clock ticks as I grab for adjectives,
The sun fades along with my ideas.

This poem never seems to fit,
Nothing inspires me at all.

My room is the same.... not enlightening,
The music playing too typical.

Writing this poem took so long,
All the thoughts took so much nudging to come.

This poem is just a bunch of words,
Words that took all this time to think of.

Answer 1

Very nice! Poetry as you have discovered, does not have to rhyme, and is an expression of your thoughts. Do not stop, you seem to have a special gift.

Answer 2

You have a sense of sound and rhythm. You have some good images, such as the "lead wears thin" and "words jumbled". However I'll tell you what my poetry teacher told me: avoid abstract language (although I certainly don't--I'm working at it). I like how this piece is self-conscious without being destructively cerebral.

I especially enjoyed "...not enlightening", which felt somehow... enlightening. Overall the poem comes across as too casual and off-hand. But it proves that you have some definite strengths.

Answer 3

I enjoyed your poem. I scribble on paper all day and at the end of the day I re-read it and discover to me its poetry. Don't be afraid to write and let others see!! What you might not see as a good poem might be a great poem to someone else!! From one poet to another...great JOB!!!

Answer 4

cool u are good don't ever think your poems should go to garbage u really do have a gift

Answer 5

i feel that way a lot when i write poetry... nicely convayed emotion, if other people can understand it... that's a good sign. Keep at it!

Answer 6

nice attempt...keep writing.