I have been with my de facto wife for four years now, and our sex life is fading. We don't have children. We both work full time. I'm always up for it but she is not. I'm 30 and she is 35. I tried everything , romance, massage, hot baths, but did not work. We only have sex once a week and if I don't ask for it we will not be doing it at all. She loves me so much, but the she thinks that we have the perfect relationship and that our sex life is good, and that it is not a big issue for a relationship. She is always tired and keeps saying "I can't be bothered" eventhough I'm a good lover and she does not have a stressfull job or everyday life. I have been open with her and disscussed the matter so many times before but nothing happens. I really want her, and I don't want to loose her, but at the same time I'm not happy with the situation . Help anyone?!?!?!
2006-07-10 12:43:28 · 5 answers · asked by sammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok...this isnt a 'technique" per say...It just taps on the very nature of women.
Women, by nature, know that men want them. When a man acts all cocky and not interested, their attraction for him is increased. When a woman tries to initiate sex or to seduce a man and he refuses it by saying something like "Im not that easy!" she goes wild!
What you do is nothing. Dont ask for sex or even bring up the subject. It may be hard to do, but well worth it. A week or even three might pass before she even notices it and starts to want it. When you notice that she wants to have sex, start making excuses and avoiding it for a couple of days. when she keeps asking for it, then you make your move.
Seems a bit farfetched, I know, but its tested and proven.
2006-07-10 13:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both have different libidos. But I will say this. The fact that you refer to her as your "de facto wife" is not cool and says to me and my husband that you may be taking her for granted. Do you think that's possible? Maybe she feels it, and maybe she's not willing to give anymore than she already is because of it. If you've already expressed yourself to no avail, maybe it's time for a therapist. An objective point of view can often bring clarity when you're at a standstill. Good luck. Breaking up over sex alone would be such a shame. Truly. There's so much more to a successful marriage. Most people believe 50% + 50% = 100%. In marriage, you each have to give it your all -- 100% from you both.
2006-07-10 19:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by dcross108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey be glad you can have sex at least once a week. I don't get it at all. But there would be sometimes when I wouldn't feel like it either, but my sex drive is higher then some, or so I think. But if I could have it once a week, whoa, I would be a happy camper. Although if I started to get it once a week, I'd maybe want it more. Hmmmm, oh btw, it's a physical problem between my husband and I that we can't have sex, but I love him very much. Hope this helps!
2006-07-10 19:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by ~~Catbird Woman~~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a week....take it or leave it....Some women are not "into" sex as much as others are. You love your wife..don't u? Is having more sex really important? Sex is great..I know but there is so much other to a relationship then that...My advice..stop pushing the issue and I'll bet she'll come around sooner or later...
Or if sex is that important to you......leave her and find someone that will give it to you every night.....Just don't cheat...if you need more LEAVE!
2006-07-10 19:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just move on
2006-07-10 19:47:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋