My fiance and I have been together for several years. I have tried everything to keep him aroused. I change my look, I wear lingerie I role play I even take part in name calling and acts I sometimes dont enjoy. But I love him, so I enjoy it anyways. Then I come home from work and see a porn site he has left open on the computer by accident or one in the dvd player. It used to be a even more serious problem. He used to have mags in the bathroom, pictures on the bedroom walls that we shared and then he tamed that. But he still lies about watching porn all the time.
Am I not sexy enough? Do I not satisfy him?
He buys the ones with girls with features I dont have too. Large breasts, african americans, dark hair and I am blonde...I think you get it it......
Somebody please help, I am starting to feel exhausted with changing or never just having someone make love to me and cherish me, instead of always treat me like one of those women in the films.
2006-07-10 12:36:37 · 16 answers · asked by christin p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Other people might call me crazy, but I think he looks at porn because he is being lazy.
Sometimes having a lot of sex - especially really involving stuff like role playing, name calling etc. can be a lot of work and hassle. But he still has the same need to get off, so he masturbates to porn instead. It doesnt mean he doesnt love having sex with you, it's just that porn is much easier and more convenient.
And as far as him watching films of women that are not like you - he's probably just looking for variety.
So I say relax, I'm sure your fiance loves you, is attracted to you, and enjoys sex with you. But is just a little lazy sometimes.
But is that the kind of behavior you want from your husband? Nothing against the guy but I wouldnt do that to my wife.
2006-07-10 12:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-16 21:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have basically answered your own question, you state you two have been together for several years, he may be bored and rtying to see whats out there, The biggest problem I see is you taking care of his every whim. Guys like that at first and for a little while but like all guys things get stagnant and look for a little adventure. Its not you as he is still around so I would say hes very much in love with you and really does want you but feels that there is something missing from his life and is trying to find it. I wouldnt say the porn is a real problem as he lets you know hes looking at it. Hopefully this "missing" obsession will eventually run its course and things will get back to normal, but try a little less him satisfying and more you, he will get the picture that he better straighten up or end up losing you. Good luck to you and to you both on your upcoming marriage
2006-07-10 12:54:57 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does have a problem, seems he is addicted to porn. Having a woman like you that would seem to meet any sane man's sexual needs. At least it makes me envious of him.
He needs help, it's like he's in a candy store, and leaving to buy some candy from a passing stranger.
That's just not a sane thing to do.
I hate to say it, but, if he doesn't change soon, I'd suggest it's time to break off with him, and find a guy, that would appreciate you, and all you do for him.
That might wake him up to what he can lose by his porn addiction.
2006-07-10 12:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having regular sex, and by this I mean regular like every Monday and Thursday regular sex, then I don't think you have a problem. If he is sleeping with his fantasy woman instead of you, now that is a problem. Stop competing with the porn girls, you wont win, not because there better than you, but because they aren't real, there just pure fantasy. Men have a very strong sex drive, it is centered around our visual and olfactory senses, intense visual stimulation leads to intense sexual stimulation, simple as that. let him get all revved up and reap the rewards. If he insists you act like a porn Star princess, you should insist he PAY YOU $1000 an ORGASM.! just like the porn girls make!
2006-07-10 12:56:26 · answer #5 · answered by amara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so you say you love him and you want to satisfy him, well try to interrupt his watching time as much as possible!!! my husband is a watcher also, as a matter of fact, i recently asked a similar question myself!!! this is what i found out... 1. his sex drive is greater then yours, 2. he probably feels that he is only sexy when having sex, and you are playing right into his thoughts by dressing up for him and the role playing, he has no clue as to what his real sexual being is. 3. his sex drive will never be fulfilled by a live person no matter what games you play because it has nothing to do with sex!!!and 4. he likes to watch, so if you are true in saying that you will try everything to make him happy, ask if he likes watching so much how he will feel about watching you with another man!!! and tell him that this bothers you enough to go on answers to figure it out!!! if he knows how to use the computer he will find it on this site and then be upset!!! and ask him how he would feel if you constantly watched!!!
2006-07-10 12:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by darla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off Never change who you are to make someone else happy because in the end you've just become someone who yourself doesnt even know anymore. You can not change a person period. That person has to want to change themselves. I understand the different things you have tried to make him happy but always remain who you are. Now for your husband maybe he is addicted to porn and has a problem. As a man we have fantasys as well as women, but there is certain things we like but we do not want our "woman" to do them for us. Its all a fantasy but at the same time we have to seperate that from reality. In all dont beat yourself down for someone elses problem, what he wont do another man will. If you are doing your part in the relationship let the rest be everything has its season
2006-07-10 12:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by c_m_b817 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw that nasty sshit in his face, girl. Burn the porn magazines, and disconnect the computer. If he doesn't know you're angry, he will know NOW! Honey, you already know he's addicted to porn and there is NOTHING wrong with you. It's HIM ! He's at the house doing the porn thing and whacking off while you are gone. Get the ugly picture?? He needs to get some counseling BIG TIME. If you stay with this dude, you can expect more perverted behavior. He knows he's wrong or he wouldn't be hiding it from you. Personally, I'd dump his chump-a$$ and get myself a REAL MAN...what the hell is wrong with you? You let him degrade you like this and disrespect you? Shame on you, honey!
2006-07-10 12:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry u feel that way but i think u r doing everything that u can, there is nothing left but to confront him, ask him if u r not satisfying him enough if the answer is NO he has some serious issues but even if u don't mind him watching he shouldn't keep it from u.
2006-07-10 12:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by scorpion prince89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband watches porn to. I just watch it with him. The girls in the movies are different looking than me to. Think about this If he wanted to be with someone who looks like those girls than he would have been. It's just a guy thing. I wouldn't stress over it. If it really bothers you tell him and I'm sure if he loves you he will stop.
2006-07-18 13:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋