Have you ever been so destroyed...?

Question

That you simply had no point in going on, no desires, no joy.

How long did it last?
Been over a year for me, and it has only gotten worse.

Let me shed some more light on the topic.

I was married 8 years, had four wonderful children. Then my wife developed cancer, at first it was very mild and then it ballooned out of control. I spent years, doing everything I could to help her, and take care of the kids, while working so I could support a family of six.

I wore myself down, for 2 years straight only to find my wife was having an affair, and the cancer was a lie. Everyone was fooled by her, now she and my kids are gone and I can't watch them grow up.

How does it possibly get better? How could I possibly trust another soul.

Answer 1

well i am re-writing this. all i can say is that you should do whatever you can to stay in contact with your kids. try and see them if you can, or always make sure they have a way to contact you if they want to. and just answer thier questions to the best of what you feel they should know at that time. good luck, i wish you the best.

Answer 2

I have been like that and felt like that for a lot longer than a year. I do not know your situation, but, I think it will only make it worse to isolate yourself and hold yourself back. It is going to hard but try to do a turn around. If you are not one to really seek help, slowly do things like go out or find a hobby or keep talking to people like this. Don't be afraid to open yourself and let people in. You may have been destroyed once and it may happen again but a lot of good is going to come with it and you will never experiance it if you dont try. I am not completed better and have my very bad days, but no matter how weak and unmotivated you feel, pick yourself up and look around because it you open yourself up enough, there is going to be someone there to help you through it.

Answer 3

OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most people have or WILL BE at some point in their lives. Do not think that you are the only one. But, you MUST believe that you are worthy of love. Once you believe that the BEST is still out there, then you will always have a reason to get up tomorrow. Do not grow discouraged. Talk to someone who will really listen. Talk to God, too. He wants the best for you. Don't do anything that will hurt anyone, or yourself. Start thinking of others, and doing kind deeds for people who have needs, and that will make you feel worthwhile and needed. And then, you will begin to feel loveable, and LOVE will come your way. You are never alone in these feelings.

Answer 4

Do whatever you have to do to be part of your kids' lives. If your wife has taken them away, get the best attorney that you can afford, and fight for your right to raise them. They need a positive role model in their life. (What their mother did was unexceptable and will only have a negative influence on them.)

It will take time, but you WILL get over your wife. Lean on your friends and family during this time. Getting extra help from meds and therapy isn't a bad idea either.

Bottom line: Focus on your kids, not your (ex)wife, and do what's best for them. When all is said and done, you will find joy in your children and hopefully, your new life.

Answer 5

well then you need to seek professional help to get you moving again. there is no reason to live like this, there is help out there, get yourself some and start living a happy life again. in the meantime read some self help books and start kicking your own butt. you are stuck here because you have chosen to let yourself be, the moment you decide you won't be this miserable for another day and take some action to change it you will start healing, as long as you wallow in it of course you will just be stuck there and it will suck you down further and further. i bet you spend your free time just thinking about how awful whatever happened was right? well guess what thats why its STILL awful, start focusing on a better future, imagine one for yourself and then make a plan to get there and you will. everything is a choice and you are choosing this. quit treating yourself like a sorry victim and you will stop feeling like one.

Answer 6

Depression is a hard thing to beat. Most people will tell you to see a doctor. Which may help. But I always tell people to try talking out your problems first. Also getting involved with excerise or another activity besides work and sitting home may help you out. So hang in there and find what works for you bc your life should be worth something to you at least.

Answer 7

I'm sorry you are so down. Things will get better for you I just know it! I am married but know how it is to be lonely and feel unloved. Maybe you could join a church or some single clubs and try to meet someone to talk to or keep company with occasionally. Good luck.

Answer 8

Yes, I have been there, where you are. I felt I had come to the brink of insanity. I will never let anyone or anything become more important to me than myself, ever again. I will fall in love every chance I get, but not at that level or extent. Just remember that this too....shall pass. You'll be fine.

Answer 9

oh my god what a ***** i am so sorry you should seek counseling to work through this she used you and messed with your emotions you will need help to get through this one, maybe even some medication to get past the depression, i myself am on lexapro and it has changed my life (Depression runs in my family I have relapsed twice into depressive states each one worse) but by talking to someone and getting on the medication my life is going in a direction i never thought it could and it doesn't happen overnight it will take time but it is possible. Good luck

Answer 10

I suffered with cancer for 9 months. I was in and out of hospitals and underwent full body radiation twice. I had no reason to live until I met my wife. She pulled me from the brink and now I am a loving, self respecting father and husband with a lot to live for. You need to get a companion. If you don't want to live for yourself, live for someone else. Good luck and god bless bro.

Answer 11

I'm feeling the same thing. Yes its depression. I've been depressed for about 2 years and i'd rather stay this way then take gay *** anti deprssants and see a shrink. My advice is if your anti social like me have as much fun alone as posible. Do crazy **** smoke drink whatever you want to. It will make life worth living.