What do you do if you have had a crush on a girl your whole life, but have never said anything?

Question

I'm married and she just got married a few months ago. We have known each other since we were in grade school. We have been friends since we've nown each other. I always thought that she was in a different league than me. Know that I am older I realize that she wasn't in a better league or even a different one. I have always wondered what might've happend if I have had the guts to tell her how I felt about her. Would it change our friendship or would it have turned into something more? She is a very caring, and honest person, not to metion VERY good looking. The bad news is her and her husband moved only a few houses from mine. I don't think about her until I see her out walking her dog in the mornings. I am happly married with 2 daughters under the age of 3 and a 11 year old stepson. What do I do? let if go and always wonder? or tell her in a nice way that I've always had a crush on her?

Answer 1

I hate you never spoke up! I've actually had this happen to me. I had a friend 2 years ago admit he had a crush on me since the 7th grade. He told me in front of his wife and made it clear it was an admission and not a proclamation of his undying love. We had a great laugh and both of us have been happily married to other people for years. I had never known!! And yes, I would have gone out with him in High School even though he never thought I would. It made for a nice "what if" thought but nothing more. His wife actually told me that she would have been more threatened if he had held it as a secret and she and I are now friends. Now, if you are hoping for something more---that is a different question. However, if I were to be single again for some reason in the future, you better believe I would remember that comment!

Answer 2

First off I don't know how you can be attracted to someone without talking to them- When I reached a certain age I had realized the extent of the evil in the human heart and I really wouldn't care how beautiful someone was if they were like bush or one of the clintons. I really think you are selling yourself, your wife and your kids out. The trick to life in this regard is like the chick in the song says: It isn't getting what you want- it's wanting what you have. Try and think of all the people dying in the Iraq war on both side, of those who are poor and homeless, of those who will never walk again or who have lost their loved ones- I think you need a second relationship- not with another woman but with GOD. This question really indicates that you are still in highschool and not an adault. Best of Luck

Answer 3

Find out the truth. Do a check on her life and see if what interests you is really what the facts say.

Sometimes, we have crushes on people because of their looks or something about them that reminds us of somebody in our lives that we couldn't get close to.

If everything checks out, become a friend. Talk to her. Open up a dialogue. Be friendly and genuine. You can still be friends even though your both married to other people. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, many couples join up in sports such as bowling that get people out and having a good time while sharing stuff with other couples. Perfectly normal.

Answer 4

do not hardship about having a crush or searching a lady friend. you'll locate your perfect woman eventually. No i trust your criteria are not intense. also, often times human beings like someone without even understanding so as that is taking position for you because frequently they unconciously block out that feeling. even as the time is sweet it's going to ensue do exactly not stress about it :D Your in ordinary words 18 you've something else of your existence!!

Answer 5

you missed the boat on this one, about a million times, its too late now, just get over it. thats what you get for not trying, most likely though it would have ruined your friendship and you wouldn't have ended up together anyway. appreciate what you have instead of imagining what you don't because chances are good that whats in your head is much better than the reality would be anyway! you have such high expectations of this 'fantasy' girl that she would have to disappoint you anyway, you would have to find out she's just a person with good points and bad and not a fantasy at all.

Answer 6

ok well heres the problem YOUR MARRIED WITH KIDS you could tell her how you feel but there is nothing that can happen other than a friendship unless you really felt the need to go through a divorce and end up hurting your kids, i think its in everyones best intrest if you just move on and stay happy with your wife and family

Answer 7

You let it go. Don't even wonder about it because your wondering may lead to lust and temptation you wouldn't want to destroy your family and her marriage on a what if... I believe that which is meant to be will always find a way. So keep your eyes on your own wife, keep your thoughts of her and your family, cherish what you have because what may seem like dream could very well be a disaster.

Answer 8

If you tell her, she will be surprized. but you have kids and don't lose your family over someone you have known your whole life, you have already gotten to know her and love her what more could you love about her. Find the true beauty in your wife and 2 daughters,and your stepson. Love them like nothing you have loved before!

Answer 9

You could tell her if you want to, but that wouldn't be too smart. She'll tell your wife.
If it were me, I would just let it go. If you are happily married with two kids, you need to concentrate more on what you HAVE than on what you would have, could have, or should have had.
Why risk introducing trouble into your own house. It's not worth it just to be able to tell some girl that you had a crush on her.

Answer 10

Things could get very awkward between you two if you voice your feelings now. I believe that it is never to late for anything but this might cause you more trouble than you realize.