im sad :( will you tell me a joke? best 1 gets 10 points!!!?

Answer 1

some funny yo mama jikes to cheer you up
yo momma so dum she got stabbed in a shoot out,


whats the difference between donuts and yo mamma? they both have jelly rolls

yo mama is so stupid she got locked is da bathroom and peed her self!!
Yo mamma is so stupid she sold the car for gas money.

yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it

Yo mammas so stupid she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama is so short she plays wallball with the curb

Yo momma’s so fat that she has to wear two watches cuz she takes up two time zones

Yo momma’s so fat when she jumped on a trampoline with yellow on, the sun said I give up!
Yo momma’s *** is so fat, she got arrested at the airport for having 20 lbs. of crack

Yo momma so old she knew burger king when he was a prince

Yo momma is so old she knew the dead ocean when it was sick

your momma is so fat she makes free willy look anorexic

whay does yo mama have to watches?? because she takes up 2 time zones.

Answer 2

The 10 Most Important People in a Woman's Life

1. The doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"

2. The dentist because he says, "Open Wide"

3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The milkman because he says, "Do you want it in the front or in back?"

5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it!"

6. The banker because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"

7. The police officer because he says, "Spread 'em"

8. The mailman because he always delivers his package.

9. The pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

10. The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.


Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male


10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that. :( Here you go:

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ..%$.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the s..@% out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ..%$.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A- Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Answer 4

okay, so there's this high security 4 story building. on the 1st story, there's a guy who's gonna graduate from college soon. on the 2nd story, there's a couple who r getting married soon. on the 3rd story, there lives a blind man.
on the 4th, story is a middle-aged woman (around 40). so one day, she is taking a nice, long bath after a hard day at work. she's onlybeen in for a minute or 2, and she hears the dorrbell ring. so she puts on a toeal and goes 2 answer the door. it's the guy from the 1st story saying that he just graduated. so the woman goes back 2 her bath. just as she starts relaxing again, she hears the doorbell ring again. she mutters a bit under her breath, puts on a towel, and answers the door. it's the couple, saying that they just got married. the woman gives a few words og congrats and goes back 2 her bath. about 5 min. later, she hears the doorbell ring. she knows it must b the blind man, because no one can get in without all the residents being notified. so she doesn't put on a towel and goes 2 answer the door. the blind man declares "I got my vision back!"..............

Answer 5

not racist at all but this joke is funny agian I AM NOT RACIST...

what would happen if a mexican and a black had a kid..the kid would be to lazy to steal...


momma jokes (not ur mom) just jokes ok?/

ur moms so nasty when she goes to the puzzy docter he comes out wearing a bio hazzzard suit...

There was this guy who despised his wifes cat..so one day he decided to dump it off..he drove 3 miles from home and dummped the cat..when he got home the cat was sitting o the porch..so the next day he drove 6 miles turned left drove 5 miles turned righ and dummped the cat..he got home the cat was o the porch..so the next day he drives 45 miles turns left drives about 1/2 hr and dumps the cat on his way home he got lost he calls his house and ask his wife..if the cats there "yes" she said, "Why"
the man replies put that little son of a ***** on the phone i nedd directions home...

who would survive a 1000 foot fall better...a man that folows or asks for directions, a smart blonde or santa clau...none of them none of them exsist

Answer 6

This one is "bad", but funny: A Social Worker, A Lawyer and A Priest took a group of kids on a field trip- on the way home, the bus caught on fire and the three ran from the bus. The Social Worker exclaimed "What about the children?".The Lawyer said "Screw the children!", and the Priest said "I already have"...

Answer 7

a yo momma joke:
yo momma is so fat she has more chins than a hong-kong phone book!

a blonde joke:
a car full of blondes were going to disneyland when they saw a sign that said "disneyland left" so they turned around and went back home.

hehe. i hope i cheered you up. :) ive been sad too today.

Answer 8

Two men got dead drunk in a bar. It began to rain, downpour, and dark. Very dark. One drunk decided to leave and walked outside, got lost and wound up in a grave yard. He fell into an open grave, wet, in water, and freezing.
By now the other drunk left the bar, and he also got lost, in to the same grave yard. He heard a voice, "Help! "I'm cold."

He stumbled around grave stones and heard it again,
Finally he saw the open grave. "Help! I'm cold."
He looked down, "Walell, no wuner ure colddd. Yu kickeddd offff allll yourr dirt."

Answer 9

a woman asked her husband how to encrease the size of her boobs. he said wipe some tp between them every day 4 a couple of years. intreagued she asked how this would work. the man replied " i dont know but it worked on your but!!!"

moby DICK was a SPERM whale who ate SEAMEN

mickey and minny are getin a divorce and the judge says they cant because minny is mentaly ill. mickey says "i didnt say she was mentaly ill! i just said she was fuc@!n goofy!!!"

Answer 10

incest is the best put your family to the test!!!


(this is less of a joke and more of a way of life)

what it made my family laugh. but then again my entire family is filled with perverts