I'm very early in my first pregnancy, about 3 weeks. I should be thrilled but I'm not. This wasn't a planned pregnancy but that shouldn't make any difference. Top it off with the fact that my husband hasn't slept since I told him. We are having a hard time adjusting to this concept. Anyone else had this happen? Am I eventually going to be happy with all this?
2006-07-10 11:40:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
this is a difficult one really, you see it could be a number of reasons but it wont get sorted in the right way, if you and your husband don't begin to communicate and talk this over, listening to one another explaining views on how you both feel, don't think of your situation as a problem because you can sort things out and hopefully both you and your husband will be happy, you know it could be just your change in hormones which is making you feel this way, the thought of parenting for both of you especially for the first time can seem a little daunting and scary, it doesn't help that your husband has reacted in the way that he has, hey he loved you enougth to marry you, he should and I'm sure he does love you enougth to be by your side and support you in whatever decision you make but once and if you do both come round to the idea you'll soon see the beauty of pregnancy and parent hood, its hard work yes and no body said parenthood was easy but to see your beautiful child in your arms in 8 or 9 months time can be the most amazing humble feeling of both your lives, the love you will have for your child is like no other, simple and beautiful things that you cherish like there first step, first word, the love you you'll both feel for your child its unconditional, and it should and most probably will bond all three of you together, you can both get through this, hope everything goes well and good luck. x
2006-07-10 12:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by odette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your body is going through a lot of changes. Find something that makes you happy and focus on that. Going for walks can help your mood. I had mood swings a lot and was tired all the time which sometimes brings you down. Tell your husband to sleep in a different room or take a sleeping pill if it's upsetting you. I have a 18 month old daughter and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My husband and I can't imagine life without her. We now wonder what we were so busy doing before. Good luck!
2006-07-10 18:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by Precious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your husband have both just had a rude awakening that any form of birth control is NEVER 100% and you really weren't PLANNING to have a baby so it's going to take some serious adjustments in your thinking, your lifestyle and perhaps put some other things on hold....give yourselves both a bit of time to wrap you heads around it. I think in a few more weeks and especially once you start feeling the baby move you might start feeling a bit better about things. At least I hope you do! Good luck hon!
2006-07-10 19:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, hormones can play a roll in how you feel about being pregnant at first. It's a hard adjustment, especially if you weren't planning it. I know how you feel, my second daughter wasn't planned at all. I found out I was pregnant with her when my oldest daughter was 6 months old. Talk about a shock!! I was breastfeeding and on the mini-pill, and hadn't been able to carry a pregnancy before my first daughter was born. I thought that we would have to try for another 8 years (that's how long it took us to get my first daughter) before our next one would be born. I guess life had different plans for us.
I kept thinking when I first found out that if I lost this baby, I would really be ok with it. Then I had my first appointment and I heard the heartbeat for the first time. I fell in love with her that momement. I knew it was meant to happen and that she was meant to come to us. I relaxed after that and all is well, hectic, but well.
My advice, take your hubby with you on your first OB appointment. He will get to hear the heartbeat and find out what all the fuss is all about. Take him to the ultrasound. This is the best way for them to bond with the unborn baby. It will sink in for sure then.
Talk to him about what he wants to do with this child as it grows up, involve him in every aspect of your pregnancy and getting ready for the baby. Go buy one of those heartbeat monitors you can get at walmart. Have him listen to the heartbeat periodically (right now is too soon. The baby doesn't even have a heartbeat yet, but by 12 weeks, you should be able to hear it!).
Eventually, you will get used to the idea and once you feel that little one move, you will be excited, anxious and overjoyed!! Just give it time to sink in and for you to adjust to the thought.
2006-07-10 18:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by odd duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 when I got pregnant..and my husband (bf at the time) was 18. Being that young neither of us took it very well. But as time went on I got to be extremly excited about it. It didn't really hit my husband till I got big and then when the baby was born. He was always nervous about it. My son will be 4 in Sept and I'm pregnant with our second child. If you really don't want children that's another story. I always wanted kids and so did my husband...just not that young (and no we weren't stupid...broken condom..just to clear that up lol) Once you get furthur along and start showing and feeling the baby or when you get to hear the heartbeat it should hit you. Good luck!
2006-07-10 18:44:13 · answer #5 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry you're probably just going through the fact of having to accept this.
You'll be thrilled in a few months or so when it sinks in.
Talk to your husband and make him see that this is a good thing not bad.
You'll feel much better.
Good luck.
2006-07-10 18:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by Rosario 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that you need both of your incomes to make ends meet, and you wanted to wait until you had more money socked away?
Are you unhappy because you are worried that your husband might be?
Are you newly married, and wanted to have a little more "just the two of us" time?
Are you miserable because you are suffering with morning sickness?
I think that if the two of you wanted to eventually have children anyway, everything will be fine. You just need to get used to the idea of being pregnant.
I was a bit unhappy when my daughter came only 13 months after her brother - but it was because I felt as though I was pregnant for 18 or more months. When she was born, I couldn't have been happier.
Good luck.
2006-07-10 18:49:06 · answer #7 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first was unexpected. It's natural for both of you to be experiencing lots of emotions and not know how to deal with them. Sit your husband down and ask him how he feels about all of this. Get your feelings out there.
Even after my son was born I was still feeling nervous and not so thrilled, but eventually after I got the hang of being a mom, I realized how I wouldn't give him up for anything in the world.
2006-07-10 18:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want this baby? Do you know that its all right if you dont. It maybe that you just need time to get used to the idea. You need to talk with your husband dose he think you got pregnant on purpose when he was not ready? When i found out i was pregnant my other half was delighted but if he hadnt of been i think it may have made quite a difference to the way i felt
2006-07-10 18:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by helen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and write out your feelings on the matter, good & bad. Talk to each other about how you feel. Plus, your harmones are doing crazy things getting ready for this new life. During my first pregnancy, I found myself crying while cooking spaghetti. No reason, just did.
2006-07-10 18:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋