my girlfriend wants another baby, we are lesbians, I don't! we cant afford it?

Question

She is 39, has 1 kid, 4 yrs old, biological clock is ticking, she is a great mom, but also is in college p/t and works high stress, lots of hours job. we have no money, but she took out a loan to pay for artificial insemination. we have only been dating a few months, i have absolutely no say-so in this matter. she is doing it no matter what the costs are. I already have two kids as well. Our life is good now, we aare happy and stable. a new baby could destroy it all, with the stress and no money issue. What do I do? I love her more than anything, and love all of our kids too. she is a truly amazing woman

Answer 1

It sounds to me like she is pretty much set on the decision to have another child, with or without your support. I can totally understand her desire to have another child. I am 30 and have been trying for a baby with my boyfriend for over a year with no luck. I think you need to ask yourself if you love her enough to support her wishes, or if you are being selfish. Imagine if you only had one of your children. Would you feel like something was missing? would you want another child to make your life complete? I think you should be supportive of her and her decision. Once she has the baby, if things don't work out, then you can decide if you want to move on. I think you are jumping to conculsions by thinking that another baby will ruin your relationship. Good luck!

Answer 2

Making a baby shouldn't be about you liking the feeling of being pregnant, it should be about the baby's needs. If you can't afford a baby, don't make a baby.

Answer 3

People show you who they are by their actions. How serious are you about this relationship? If you plan on hanging out with her for the long haul, then take notice now!: when she wants something, she's going to go for it, come hell or high water. Do you want to be in a relationship where you have no say, or your feelings are ignored? Kids.... money.... time...etc these are all BIG-TICKET items. If you love her that much, are you willing to walk away? At some point, you have to ask for what you want.

You cannot be truthful unless you are courageous
You cannot be loving unless you are courageous
You cannot be trusting unless you are courageous
You cannot inquire into reality unless you are courageous
Hence, courage comes first, earthing else follows. - OSHO

If you're that loving, are you also that courageous to speak your heart?

I wish you Courage and Peace.

Answer 4

It's a hard question. If you were a hetero couple you'd have some say-so because you'd be a vital part of the process, at least genetically speaking. I don't really think it *should* be different in a lesbian couple; each of you should have some input in major relationship decisions. But, since it's her body, I guess she'll have the ultimate say. For the sake of the relationship, you need to at least have a conversation about your concerns, but you also have to take a good look at them yourself to determine if they're valid. What if she'd had the baby before you met? You started dating her with one child, would it really have been different if she'd had two when you met?

Answer 5

It is physically impossible for two women to have a baby together. It doesn't work that way. The only way the miracle of birth can happen is a man and a woman must have sex. The man places sperm inside the woman to fertilize the egg she is carrying. She becomes pregnant and is at full term in 9 months.

So your girlfriend of the same sex needs to find herself a man and go traditional on your ***.

SAME SEX RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT PRODUCE CHILDREN OF YOUR SAME GENETICS. THAT'S WHY IT IS A PERVERTED LIFESTYLE LEZBO!!!!!

Answer 6

If you love her like you say then maybe you should look past the "affording issues " and try and figure out a way to afford another baby. She obviously wants to share this with you. Or maybe she wants to let you go and this is her way of doing it b/c she knows you don't want another baby...... you never know unless you ask? good luck!

Answer 7

It doesn't sound like she respects your wishes. I do not think that being with someone who does not listen to what you want is a good thing. kids are expensive and by the sounds of it things are not great as you say.

Answer 8

if you can't afford it don't have it - it sounds like the relationship is fragile to begin with - counseling seems to be in order here - some women keep having babies because they enjoy the baby stage and as they grow they want a new one

Answer 9

I would simply tell her you are not in a position to have another child but you understand her desires. Let her know that she needs to be prepared to raise this child alone if it comes to that.

Answer 10

personally i dont think kids sholuld be brought up with lesbians that confuse kids that make them think its ok to be that way